


Achilles

by ccheleanor



Category: Greek and Roman Mythology, The Iliad - Homer, The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-12 03:18:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 46,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2093712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ccheleanor/pseuds/ccheleanor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tell the story from the beginning when Achilles, prince of Phtia met Patroclus, and it’s about how they became friends and then lovers, and how Patroclus was to the greatest worrier in history----his truly "Achilles' heel".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Achilles

**Author's Note:**

> Point of view shifts between Achilles(3rd) and Patroclus(1st), but this is a story of Achilles, I guess. 
> 
> Warning1: I take my source material more from wiki than the song of Achilles  
> Warning2: Patroclus didn’t go to Troy at first.(I didn’t deliberately do this, but……)  
> Warning3: I don’t know how the rating would go in the later chapter……

He remembered there’s a time, when he was not much more than an infant, his mother often held him on her thighs, chanting strange songs to him. Her voice was soft with small echoes like those sounds inside the seashells.

It was much later somebody told him that most goddesses were naturally musical. Some of them were endowed with great duties, but most of the goddesses, they just sang beautiful songs and wandered around the world, disappearing before memory could be formed. Most people who had ever seen a goddess could hardly distinguish them from a volatile dream. 

He also remembered then, his mother would feed him with some mellifluous fluid, and it dissipated the instant it touched his tongue, leaving only faint heat in its place like tiny flames. 

But from one point, his mother began to visit fewer and fewer. And when she came, she always looked sad and distant. She seemed to have left her soul in the sea, and only came as a husk. 

He couldn’t understand what had gone wrong. 

One day, he secretly followed his mother with the attempt he couldn’t quite understand himself. 

He followed her to the sea shore in the wee-hours in the morning. When the sun rose, her svelte figure slowly loomed away like mist. With a twinge of panic he rushed forward into the water, trying to sustain the illusion of beauty. 

He couldn’t remember what exact happened afterward; there’s a huge blank in his memory. 

What he remembered was later (probably much later), he lay on the soft mattress with a funny ringing in his ears. Not far from him, two voices like angry tides washed over him. 

“Do you know what you are doing to him, to our Achilles?” that’s his father’s voice, only it had lost its usual poise and gentleness.

“I didn’t know he was following me.” the voice belong to his mother, and it sounded hollow and far away.

“That is not what I mean…… Thetis, do you really not know why he did this?”

Silence. 

“Thetis……”

“Don’t say my name.” the voice was angry.

There was a long pause. When his father spoke again, his voice was almost unrecognizable: “I know……I always know it’s beneath you to marry a human. I know you were once beloved by the most powerful gods……”

“Stop! Stop it!” Thetis’s voice was trembling vehemently, angrier than he had ever heard: “If you ever say that again, I’ll kill you! I will!”

“But, Thetis……I am father to your son, to our Achilles. Can you……can you nor try to love me?” the voice stopped abruptly, like he couldn’t bear to say more words.

Then there was another long, long pause.

Then, finally, along with the weeping cold wind came Thetis’s answer: “I don’t know……I don’t know how to love a human……”


	2. Patroclus

The day we departed was gloomy and cold just like how I felt. Some sea gulls were hovering at the near sea, but dared not approach the people. They knew gloomy people can be mean sometimes.

Lots of people came to bid farewell to us. One by one, they hug my father, and then patted my shoulder, telling me to be strong. I nodded and nodded and nodded until me neck sore.

“Captain, we’ll miss you.” Leo, a broad shouldered sailor, said with big, tearing eyes.

My father was captain to a merchant ship; he was a captain beloved by his crews. 

And I took him away from them.

 

“Patroclus!” father sat down beside me:”Are you tired?”

I shook my head. I had been learning to steer the ship since I was six, and I was twelve now. I knew very well how to make best use of the muscles, so they wouldn’t get tired soon. 

Besides, it better to do something then to dwell on what happened three days ago.

“The wind is helping us; you can rest for a while……if you wish.”

I nodded numbly, and my father stood up to attend to the sail. I look back at the land we just left, the family I once had, and found my eyes bleary.

After three days’ sailing, we landed a harbor near Sparta. We left in a hurry, so we didn’t have much time to prepare the journey; and now, the food storage was almost empty.

Father decided to fill our supplies here, which meant a lot of food since we were still a long way from our destination.

“Strange.” Father muttered when we enter the bazaar 

“What’s wrong?” I asked. I was nervous, but I tried my best not to show it on my face. I had already caused enough trouble.

“There used to be fewer people.” Father said. 

“Maybe there’s a festival.”

“Maybe.” father said. Then we walked in silence. 

“I’ll go make some bargain. Wait here for a while.”

I nodded again. Father used to take me with him during negotiation; sometimes he even let me take the lead. Other crew members sometimes did the same. They said taking a kid with them gave an impression that they were honest merchants; but I guessed a sulky kid was just bad luck. 

The bazaar was crowded with people; some merchants, some worriers and some beggars, too.

“Kid……”The voice was not loud, but I startled anyway.

I turned so quickly that I almost knock him off.

“Wow, please don’t hit me!” the man said with a playful grin. He was in his mid twenties; his face was stained by dirt, but his teeth were very white. 

“Sorry, I’m not……”

“It’s all right. I just came to ask if you are in trouble. You know, kids are not common here. And you looked a little……preoccupied.”

“I’m fine.” I tried a little smile: “My father is buying storage for our ship. I’m waiting for him.”

“Uh……just you and your father? Where are you going?”

“To visit a friend of my father.” I was cautious not to speak too much.

“Um……” he looked thoughtful.

I was alarmed. Why did he ask so much? 

“Patroclus!” father called from a behind.

“That’s my father. I need to go help him.” I said promptly.

The man grinned: “Sure. Patroclus. I’m sure your father was proud of you.”

He was talking about my name, which meant glory of father.

“Certainly not.” I whispered and ran toward my father.

After we finished loading our ship, I cut the cable that tied it to a stake. My father gave me a hand and pulled me onto the ship.

“Wait!” a man called.

We both turned in alarm. It was the man on the bazaar.

“Who are you?” father’s eyes narrowed at him.

“I’m just a bard. The name is Telemachus.”

“And why do you stop us from departure?” 

“I’m not trying to stop you,” he grinned again: “I was wondering if you could let me aboard the ship.”

“You know where we are going?”

“I was hoping you would tell me.”

“If you don’t even know our destination……”Father’s frown deepened.

“I am a bard. My life is continuous wandering.”

“You say you are a bard. Where is your lyre?”

Telemachus look embarrassed: “Not all bards are good at lyre.”

“How can we trust you?”

“How about a song?”

So we let him sing. And it was incredible. 

His voice was not beautiful, but the story he told almost immediately gripped us. In the song, he told a story that I had never heard; it’s about a hero set out on a journey to woo a beautiful princess, and how he was tested by the old king. 

So we believed him. He was not only a skillful storyteller, but the best I had ever seen.

The ship went smoothly at first, and father seemed to relax a little.

“Do you know why so many people gathered back there?” My father asked.

“Why? You don’t know then. Many kings and princes and heroes have come there, in hope to win the hand of Spartan princess, Helen.”

“Did you see her?” I asked. It seemed his song relaxed me, taking away part of the weight I was carrying, and my natural curiosity was suddenly back. 

“Oh yes, I saw her.”

“Is she beautiful?”

“Naturally. Divine blood usually does this to a human offspring.” He said: “She is Zeus’s daughter.”

My eyes almost bulged at that. 

“Have you ever seen anyone with divine ancestry?” he turned to me.

I shook my head.

“I have.” My father said, his voice a little rough.

“Oh?” Telemachus leaned forward, obviously expecting my father to talk more.

But father was closed down on him now: “But that was a long time ago……”

Father stopped himself at the mid-sentence. I followed his gaze, and quickly found out the reason. 

The blue sea, which was peaceful all the way to the sky a minute ago, was now usurped by a large ship many times of ours size.

I let out a quiet cry of desperation, and felt my knees weak.

They were coming for me, I thought to myself, how stupid I was to think I could get away with a murder? I should know better. When I killed the man, even by accident, I had doomed us all.

“Father……” I began to say.

“Shut up, Patroclus!” Father gave me a restrained shouting. He was stiff all over, but he stood up in front of me anyway.

Before I could say anything, the big ship had already caught up with us. 

A big man appeared at the brim of the ship, looking down at us and shouted: “Who are you?”

My father shouted back: “Who are you to question us in an open sea?”

The man frowned: “You better show some respect, old man! You wouldn’t want to make a royal enemy!”

Royal enemy? I was baffled. Surely the man I killed was not a royalty? I didn’t notice until then that the side of other boat was decorated with lushly colorful painting. 

“The same words are applied to you too.” Father said calmly.

The man snorted: “You? Old man, don’t embarrass yourself…….”

It was then my father drew his sword.

“That’s……” 

Swords were very rare weapons, and extremely expensive. Soldiers usually used spears on the battle field; swords were for loyal burial or as a proof of one’s identity. 

“It’s a gift from the great hero Perseus himself.” My father said with a booming voice. He seemed to transform to another person at the blinks of time. Despite my own nervousness, I suddenly felt proud and powerful.

“You……” the man finally managed to say: “That’s irrelevant. Just answer my question: do you see a man at the harbor?”

“What man?” father asked.

“A man about twenty five or so, tall……”

“You need to be more specific, lad.” Father said.

“The man has a special way of words.” The man said with tangible grudge: “It’s like crazy. Words from his mouth are like things touched by king Midas……all become glitter and gold at once. He has a nickname “A bard without lyre.””

“I had never known such a man my entire life.” Father answered.

The man clearly hesitated to believe us. But finally, to my relief, he called on to his men and sailed past us.

I almost collapsed the instant the ship disappeared. But father was breathing heavily, and I know from experience something was about to happen.

He brushed me aside and opened the door led to the storage chamber. Telemuchus was there, among those cheeses and breads we just bought from the bazaar. I was too caught up in the previous situation that I didn’t notice his action.

“Do you want to tell me why you are defiling our food?” father said coldly.

“Defiling? I……” Telemachus frowned like that was a serious insult to him. But he gave up protesting middle way of the sentence. He sighed: “I’ll explain. Just let me get out of here first.”

When Telemachus resettled himself on the ship, father asked: “Who are you? You are not a bard.”

“Who am I ?” He smiled wryly: “According to my wife, I was a troublemaker by nature.”

“Whose troublemaker?” father asked.

“Everyone’s.” He shrugged: “But this time, I was causing a little trouble for Princess Helen and her suitors.”

“You are one of the suitors?” father asked.

I blurted out: “The song you sang……it was your own experience!”

Telemachus looked amused: “You both are very quick. But no, I wasn’t her suitor. I just coaxed a prince to come here and pursue her. Yeah, I’m talking about the man you just met.”

“And why is that?” father didn’t seem convinced.

“Because I want to prevent Helen from marring Menelaus, prince of Mycenae.”

“You have a grudge against him?”

“No. He is a good man compared to his brother Agamemnon.” He seemed a little wistful. “But I have to do this. Agamemnon had already married Helen’s sister; if Menelaus marries Helen, the result would be two united states that would overpowered every other states in Greek. That’s not a good thing to Greek.”

“Did you succeed?” father asked.

“If I had successes, do you think I would be chased all the way here?”

“By holding back this information,” father said harshly: “You had endangered us all.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I should let him come and dragged you out. If we are not……”

Telemachus took over father’s speech: “If you are not being chased yourself?”

Father stared at him. But Telemachus was still smiling: “Yeah, I figured that out. Or at least I know you are hiding something. That’s why I approached you in the first place……figure you wouldn’t want to make a fuss.”

“You……” father glared at him.

“However, I really didn’t see that coming.” Telemachus imitated the action of drawing a sword. 

“I was once a sailor on the Argo.”

“Oh!”He looked surprised but strangely pleased. “’The Argo’? Then you must be much older than you look!”

That was a kind complement. My father was about 70 now, and it showed on his every wrinkle.

“That was a long time ago.” Father said.

“You were the heroes of the earliest time. Even Athena herself descended to help you.”

“……until we fell from the gods’ favor, and the strongest of us killed by the fallen Argo itself.”

My father was talking about Jason, the hero whose downfall caused by his wife Medea came all too soon. 

“I had warned him not to trust that woman.”Father whispered ruefully.

“Ah, women.” Telemachus shook his head. He said that a little playfully, but father seemed only to get the literal meaning.

“Not all women are like that.” Father said, much too seriously. “Patroclus’s mother was not like that.”

I was unprepared to hear him mention my mother, who died before being able to leave any actual memory to me. Some sailors remember her. Newcomers only knew her as “The woman our ship was named after” or simply, “Patroclus’ mother”.

Telemachus didn’t seem to be fazed, but at least he had the decency to act embarrassed. 

“Since you have already on board, I guess it’s no point to ask you leave now.” father said.

“I’m truly grateful for that.” This time, Telemachus sounded serious: “May Zeus grand you peace for your hospitality.”


	3. Achilles

It was early in the evening, and Achilles was holding his lyre, sitting on the window sill of the watch tower where he could take in all that was going on below. But currently, there was none.

“Achilles!” 

His father, king Peleus’s voice approached, along with the footsteps clicking on the stone stairs. 

Achilles did not answer; instead, he struck on the strings. 

The music came to him naturally like spring snow melted into water, over his fingers, and then flowed to the strings. He sang with the music a song about the story of Theseus. 

Theseus, legendary king of Athens. When he was only a prince, he killed monstrous Minotaur to free Athens of the tribute of seven younglings every year. Achilles’ story was by no means as complicated as a real bard’s, but his voice was clear, his lyre almost painfully beautiful.

Peleus moving toward Achilles with a tired but gentle smile, like a worrier attracted by the campfire at the end of the day.

When Achilles put down the lyre, Peleus stepped to his side. “That is a beautiful song. Had I told you Theseus was my favorite hero?”

He had, but Achilles didn’t answer.

Peleus put one hand on his shoulder: “One day when people sing about you, I’ll be sung too as the father whose son surpasses him and make him so proud……just as Theseus’ father.”

Achilles suddenly looked up at his father with a near-grimace: “Theseus forgot to change the flags and got his father killed!”

Peleus laughed out loud at the reaction. 

But soon the laughter subsided; he looked down at his son with a serious face.

“Achilles, why do you shun away from others recently? Nobody knows where to find you once the drill is over. ” 

“You found me.” 

“Well,” Peleus smiled: “I’m your father after all.”

“But Achilles,” he continued to say: “You’ll become king like Theseus one day. You can’t command your people from the tower.”

Silence. Peleus did not push him again but waited in equal silence.

After a long silence, Achilles finally said: “I hate those people who say something and hide another behind them.”

Peleus blinked, and after a few second, realization emerged on his face. “You heard them talking from here?”

Achilles lowered his gaze.

“Ah……” Peleus cocked his head. “I should build the tower higher……or not build it at all.” 

Achilles made a grimace.

Peleus smiled before straighten up his face. “I think……that’s because you are the prince, and they feel the need to please you. That doesn’t make them terrible people, though.”

“It’s not just that.”

“Ah!” Peleus let out a sound of understanding. “It’s about me, then.”

Achilles did not answer. It was no secret in Phthia that the king’s health was down falling. The soldiers were talking about this, and sometimes they even talked about which commander was most likely to take the place from Peleus.

“I’m sorry, Achilles.” Peleus said.

Achilles frowned. He had never told his father, but he was irritated every time he apologized to him.

“It’ their fault.” Achilles said through gritted teeth. “Not yours!”

“But our ancestors took this land with force in the first place; we couldn’t blame them for thinking this way.” Peleus said. “I will not let this happen again, though. I will protect you and Phthia.”

“I can protect Phthia too,” Achilles said.

“You are only a child, Achilles.”

“But I am strong.”

He was only eight, but he had beaten every adult in drill. The commanders didn’t practice with them, but he bet he could beat them too. 

“Why can’t they see me as who I am?” Achilles’ voice became higher. “I don’t like them. They are……”

“They are my people, Achilles,” Peleus’ tone was intimate but serious: “And one day they’ll be yours.”

“I’ll……I’ll try not to hate them.” he said after a long pause.

He didn’t say the word “for you”, but he guess his father must have sensed it.

“Thank you, Achilles.”

Suddenly, Achilles shook his head violently.

“Achilles?”

“Do you……” Achilles said, almost harshly: “Did you ever think……”

He was about to ask if his father was sorry for marrying a goddess, and had a kid like him.

“No.” Peleus cut him off: “I don’t.”

“I haven’t said anything.”

“Like I said, I am your father after all.”

Achilles lowered his shoulder that he didn’t know he had tightened up.

Peleus smiled. “I almost forgot why I came to find you. Come, Achilles, I want you to meet someone.”

 

“This is my son, Achilles.” Peleus gestured to him in front of two strangers, an old man and a boy.

“Prince Achilles.” the old man bowed, and the boy promptly followed the gesture.

“And they are my old friend Menoetius and his son Patroclus.” Peleus said: “They’ll be staying with us for a while.”

Achilles’ eyes widened in surprise; he turned and really looked at the two visitors for the first time. The old man was tall, swarthy and thin. And really old, too. The boy was a couple years older than him, with nothing impressive except for a pair of big, blue eyes.

The boy seemed to notice his gaze and lowered his head.

“For how long?” Achilles asked. 

“For as long as they like.” Peleus’ expression turned serious. 

That surprised Achilles again. 

“I hope you two will become friends.” Peleus said. “Just like me and Menoetius.”

Now Achilles felt confused. His father had never asked him that; what’s so special about this Patroclus?

Achilles shot Patroclus an irritated look, and found he was looking at him too; but this time, he did not shun away from his gaze. And he was holding his gaze evenly……almost stubbornly.

Patroclus. Achilles decided to remember this name.

But the next day, Achilles had nigh forgotten all about the old man and his son; so when he went to the drill and found the boy, Patroclus, was there, he felt caught off guard.

Achilles found his attention drawn to him without conscious effort. Some soldiers were helping him select armor and weapon, but Patroclus didn’t seem eager. 

“Have you learned any marshal skill?” 

“Yes. My father taught me how to use spear in case we need to defend ourselves against pirates.” 

“Wow. Did you kill any pirates?”

Patroclus cringed slightly at the question: “No, I……”

That’s when Achilles lost all his interest; he walked away and turned his full attention to the drill. When he finished his practice, Patroclus was nowhere to be seen. Feeling exhausted and no fulfillment, he dragged his tired body up to the watch tower again. 

He sat on the window, holding his lyre, but somehow didn’t feel the urge to pluck the string. This was one of those evenings he wanted nothing but sitting there and watching the dark, blue sea.

He saw two worriers passing the ground, but didn’t pay them much attention. 

The voice flowed to him anyway. 

“I have never seen a god or goddess, but……is that a god supposed to be like?”

“What do you mean?”

“The prince. Achilles. Who else do you think I’m talking about? When I fought him, there’s several times I was convinced he wanted to kill me.”

“You are flattering yourself. If you asked me, I would say we sheer mortals don’t even catch his eyes……with perhaps one exception, and that is the king.”

“Speaking about the king……how long do you think he will stay on the throne? He looks more and more pale and tired recently; it’s pathetic to see him trying to hide it.”

Achilles curled his fingers into fists. Though he didn’t notice, he was holding his breath now.

“Still, he is loved by the gods. Zeus even let him marry a goddess, remember?”

“Hey, that’s something I always want to ask too! Can sea-nymphs even be counted as goddesses? Aren’t they more like sirens or gorgons……”

“She’s really beautiful, though.”

“But I bet she is as cold as the sea water. I’d rather sleep with an ugly but passionate woman-------at least I can cover her face while……”

Achilles didn’t listen anymore. There’s a funny ringing in his ears like the time he nearly drown at the sea. 

He tried to place his feeling. He couldn’t. When he finally snapped out of the dizziness in his head, the two men had already gone.

Achilles’ fingers hold on tightly to the lyre. He wanted to hurt something. Badly. His intuitions told him he must get out of here; get away from people as soon as possible. 

So he ran. He ran all the way toward the stable. 

Somebody was there. As he came closer he found it was Patroclus. The older boy leaned on the fence, patting a horse like that was a cat or something.

Enough, a voice spoke at his ears, that’s enough.

Patroclus was clearly startled by his presence: “Prince Achilles!”

But Achilles just brushed Patroclus aside, randomly dragged a horse out of the stable and put the saddle on. The horse made a protesting sound at his rough hands.

“What are you……”

He didn’t listen. Achilles swung himself onto the horseback, and with a brash kick rushed all the way out of the palace.

He rode faster and faster. The wind flew by angrily, and he was lost in it. He felt like chasing something and being chased at the same time. 

He didn’t know how much time had passed. His mind became fuzzy, and exhaustion gradually caught up. 

Suddenly, the field seemed so big and bleak.

He didn’t want to run anymore. But where could he go? 

He didn’t want to go home. He didn’t want to face his father right now, or listen to him apologize for something that’s not his fault. 

Then where? Where could he stay and feel peaceful for one night?

Then all of a sudden, those stubborn, unmoving blue eyes jumped into his mind……


	4. Patroclus

It was evening now, but I was not in a mood for dinner. 

I had been struggled about whether to tell my father what happened at the stable. Usually I was not one who dwelled on small things, but I was still under the shadow of the accident that got us here, and was ashamed to bring any more bad news to my father. But after a long struggle, I finally decided to confide it. 

Father looked displease after he heard the whole event, but he only said: “I’ll go check on it.”

When he came back, he looked relieved.

“The prince was back.” Father said. 

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I didn’t care much about the sullen kid; I was only worried about what would happen to us if the king linked prince Achilles’ disappearance to our arrival, though I had done nothing to provoke him.

Maybe it’s the feeling of relaxation, I suddenly felt starved. Father clearly felt the same; he sat himself on a bench with a heavy thud, and asked me to fetch bread and cheese for dinner. He looked tired and old, which might both be true.

We cut a chunk of bread and silently eat it with cheese. Father drank a little wine, while I washed down the bread with water. I drank wine with the ship crew sometimes and loved it, but it’s always behind my father’s back; and I guessed now was not the time to ask for it.

“Patroclus.” Father suddenly said.

“Yes?” I answered wearily. 

“How’s the drill going?” father asked.

“Good. They taught me some new skills.” I said awkwardly. 

Father nodded: “You have talent. In case you don’t know, I don’t say it lightly. I’ve seen great men in my life.”

“But……” I hesitated: “But I don’t want to become king Peleus’ worrier.”

Father’s eyes were keen on me, and I had to lower my gaze to continue: “I don’t like this feeling, like he owns me……”

“I don’t want you to become a worrier either.” Father said tonelessly: “I think King Peleus is only doing what he thinks is good for you. But he won’t force you into anything; we are not as close as he said, but that much I do know.” 

I nodded and went back to my dinner.

“Patroclus.” Father’s tone was suddenly serious.

“Yes?”

“Did you have a fight with the prince?” 

And I knew what he didn’t say out loud: Are you responsible for his paroxysm?

“No,” I said promptly, feeling as though all my blood had rushed to my head. “No, I didn’t even speak a word! He was angry before he saw me……”

Father scanned my face with his sharp, gray eyes.

Finally he said: “Just bear in mind what got us here. I didn’t give up everything, across the sea, just to get into trouble again. ”

Suddenly, there was a lump stuck in my throat. 

“I’ll never forget it.” I said with a near-chocking sound.

My father narrowed his eye, seemingly wanted to say something. But then, an unexpected knock disrupted our conversation.

I tensed reflectively. 

“Relax, probably just……”

But father never got the chance to finish the sentence. The door was pulled open without our invitation, and stood there was the troubling prince Achilles himself. 

“Prince Achilles!” father’s eyes widened in alarm.

To our surprise, Achilles bowed his head to my father, though quite briefly. “Good evening.”

Good evening? I was thinking there couldn’t be a more unsettling “good evening”. 

“Can I come in?” Achilles asked. But just as he was asking, he had already stepped into the room. It was strange, like he was tramping on it while he performed the perfect manner. But it always worked, I assumed, because he was the prince.

To my surprise, Achilles turned to me: “Patroclus.”

As his green eyes focused on me, I was again stunned by his beauty. I guessed Telemachus was right after all; divine blood did have some strange effect on looks.

“Can I join your dinner?” he said politely, and father and I were left completely speechless. Join our dinner? Why would he want to do that? And right after he pulled a stunt on me today?

“Can I?” He said again, this time with a tinge of impatience. 

My father nodded: “Sure, prince……”

Achilles sat at the corner of the table before father could finish. I got a feeling that his perfect manner was simply the quickest way to get what he wanted. 

“We don’t have much to offer.” I said. I was trying very hard to show only a little bitterness.

But Achilles cocked his head and said: “Do you need anything?”

I felt a little panic: “No, I didn’t mean that……”

Achilles frowned, and I realized the expression I had thought to be angry was actually confusion. Though I was the one who had every reason to be confused.

“If you did, it is fine.” He said.

“I……”

“Sit, Patroclus.” Achilles said.

But I didn’t want to. My father put a hand on my shoulder, and I finally sat cross Achilles.

“What do you want to eat?” father asked.

Achilles frowned again. His expression was not the least expectant. And the reason for that, I found out much later.

“I will have water only, thanks.” He said, still with his perfect but cold manner.

“If you don’t want to eat, why……” I blurted out.

“Patroclus.” Father stopped me. With his composure, he poured Achilles water, and resumed his meal silently; so silent that it felt like he wanted nothing but to be ignored, to disappear.

Achilles held his water, rotated the cup a few times, and then suddenly looked up at me: “You don’t eat?”

I had no choice but go back to my meal. As I did so, I could still feel those green eyes focus on me.

What did he want? What was he planning? I thought really hard, but no answer came.

After dinner, I excused myself immediately, not wanting to stay in the awkward silence for a minute longer. 

But as I walked away, footsteps quickly followed behind me.

I turned in surprise…..and perhaps a little anger: “What are you doing?”

“Patroclus.” Father warned. 

Achilles smacked his tongue lightly, like he was annoyed by my father’s intrusion. 

“I want to see the place you live. Can you show me around?”

“I……”

“……if you have time.” He added in a questioning way.

“I can do that. You are the prince, and I have nothing else to do.” I said.

I led him through the door, to the small clearing outside. The house was not far from the palace, along with some servants’ house; but it was certainly the most commodious and cozy one among them. 

“That is all. You can see the whole building from here.”

Achilles cocked his head. He looked……innocent, I thought, and beautiful. My anger had subsided a little. I wanted to ask what he was thinking and why he did everything he did this evening……

“What do you do after dinner?” he suddenly asked.

“What?”

“Like now, what do you usually do?”

I was baffled again, not knowing what he wanted.

“Do you play spear? Do you want to practice with me?” he was still talking.

“No.” I said firmly as the memory coming back to me.

“You are unhappy, just like this afternoon when someone asked you about killing pirates.” He said. “Why?”

“Why do you want to know?” I could barely hold back my anger. “I mean……this has nothing to do with you.”

“But I want to know.” 

I was more than irritated now. Why must he ask? Why did I have to bring up again?

“Don’t ask me.” I curled my fingers into fists.

“But you have already heard me.” he always got strange points.

I blurted out angrily: “If you must know, I killed someone. That’s why I’m here……we are on the run for murder!”

“You killed someone?” he frowned: “How?”

“I……” strangely, I suddenly felt the need to explain: “I had a fight with a man because he was trying to hurt one of my father’s crew……that was an accident.”

“Is he your friend?”

“No, I just told you……”

“Do you like him?”

“No, I……”

“Then why are you so upset?”

Achilles’ face was serious. He was all serious about this question.

I was stunned.“Because I killed him!”

“But he was someone of no importance to you.” he said. “And if he decided to hurt somebody, than he had thrown away his right to complain about being hurt……or killed. I think it’s fair.”

“But I took a life!” and if I was to be completely honest, it was not a sheer accident. For a moment, I truly wanted him dead.

“Life.” Achilles looked thoughtful, a little sorrow even. “Most of us will take many lives when we grow up.” 

“But Life is…… life is precious.” I felt like an idiot talking like this.

“I don’t want to die.” He said thoughtfully. “But I don’t understand what’s so good about living either.” 

My eyes widened in astonishment. 

“You are just being……” I swallowed the word ”childish.” I was certain he didn’t know what he was saying.

“Uh?”

“You’ll feel different when you grow older.” I said instead. 

“Father told me the same.” He lowered his gaze, clearly not convinced.

After a moment of silence, I became a little restless again: “Don’t you need to go back?” 

“Can I stay here tonight?” he asked.

“But……but your father, the king……”

“I had told him.” he said like that was the most natural thing to say.

“I don’t understand.” I said honestly. “Why……”

“I don’t understand many things either.” Like that was some kind of answer.

My father didn’t protest when Achilles announced he was going to stay with us for the night. He let Achilles sleep on his bed, which left Achilles and I in the same room in a strange silence.

In confusion, I was deliberately not saying anything to Achilles. I was hoping when I awoke, this strange situation would be gone already. 

I was almost convinced this was the case. After all, what feeling could he held toward me other than misplaced curiosity? But the thought was like a rock falls into a bottomless well, the sound came out empty and cold.

 

 

I woke in the middle of the might covered in cold sweat. I was getting use to having nightmares about the dead man these days. Mostly, it’s just me standing beside the corpse, bloody handed. 

But tonight, the corpse suddenly turned to me and grinned. 

When the corpse spoke, it was Achilles’ voice coming out of his purple mouth: “We all take lives.”

The scream was already at my throat, when the corpse reached his withered hand toward me and spoke again: “Now you did it too.”

I was at the edge of screaming. But the corpse did not stop.

”And you are destined to join us someday……”

Then I opened my eyes in horror. I didn’t know if I screamed or not, but when I turned to the other side, I found Achilles’ green eyes were glittering in the darkness like leopards’.

I shut my eyes immediately, trying to pretend I was sleeping all along. I was afraid he would again ask something I didn’t want to answer. 

Achilles did not speak. But I heard a cracking sound made by the bed.

I was thinking he was getting sick of the noise I made and wanted to leave, when I heard the music. The music made by lyre. I didn’t even notice he had brought a lyre with him.

Achilles did not sing; there’s only beautiful melody, like moonlight or river, or nightingales cooing in the deep, deep forest; it flowed through my body, my mind, leaving gentle touches like kittens’ paws. 

Was Achilles trying to comfort me? At first thought, it didn’t seem likely to me. 

As the music went on, I forgot about those complicated thoughts at once. The only thing in my mind is that I wanted to hear more of Achilles’ lyre. 

So I tried to wield myself not to fall asleep. But before long, I was out cold. And this time, I slept well.

The next day I awoke, Achilles was already gone.


	5. Patroclus

Father told me Achilles was going to the drill first. 

“Drill again?” I muttered. That kid was obsessed about drill.

I sat down and ate my breakfast eagerly; perhaps part of me was trying to hide my disappointment about Achilles’ absence.

“You like the prince?” father said as he sat across me.

“Not particularly.” I shrugged while put another piece of bread into my mouth.

 

When I went to the drill, Achilles had already been fighting a long time. He did not see me, naturally, for his attention was all on his opponent. It was almost ridiculous to see him fight a big, full grown man, for Achilles was so young and small and almost skinny.

Achilles’ eyes narrowed at the man standing in front of him, his gold-red hair glowing like flame under sunlight. 

Suddenly, the man broke the tension. His spear thrust forward forcefully, but Achilles intercepted this blow, and knocked the spear off into the sky. The man’s eyes widened in shock while Achilles’ wooden sword reached forward and touched his throat lightly like a snake’s bite. The man jolted violently and nearly tripped himself.

“Who’s next?” Achilles shouted between panting.

“Patroclus! Do you want to fight?” one of the soldiers nudged me. 

Achilles turned abruptly at the voice; his eyes quickly found mine, and glowed. 

I stood there stupidly, when another nudge came at my back. I tumbled a few steps, barely stopped myself in front of Achilles. When I lifted my head, I saw there were cold flames in his eyes like he was in a trance. 

The crowd cheered. 

“Sword or spear?” Achilles asked; his voice was raspy. 

“Uh? S…..spear, please.” I said and somebody quickly passed me one. I held on to it so tight my knuckles turned pale. 

Achilles was just a kid, I thought to myself, I was older, taller and heavier; there’s much I could use to……

Achilles stroke. 

I dodged the blow and at the same time felt the temperature of my body raise a few notches. It’s then the fight truly began. 

I had been learning about spear and other martial skills since I was a little boy; no more than five or six, I thought. And I was a quick learner and a tenacious fighter.

But Achilles was like a different creature compared to those I had fought before. 

He was quick, accurate and fluent; the sword was like the extension of his hand……no, it’s more like Achilles had become the extension of the sword…….

Within a minute, our wooden weapons clashed into one another three or four times more. Although my hand could still respond to Achilles’ attack, my steps had fallen into a jumble. 

I changed my strategy into sheer defense. I could see now I was no match for him; the only way I could win was to wait for him to get impatient, and loosen his perfect defense. And he would, eventually, if I could hold on long enough……

And when I saw the moment come, I stroke without hesitation. When I saw the clear shock in Achilles’ eyes, I was thinking: I got him. 

But despite being taken by surprised, Achilles was still quicker than me.

Achilles shunned away from my attack, and his sword slithered along my extended arm, until it touched the point under my shoulder. I reflectively loosed the spear at the pain---- the pain was not vehement, but numbness quickly spread along my arm to my fingertips, and leaving behind a tingling sensation. I bet many before me dropped their weapon at this point……just like I did. 

Achilles withdrew his sword, and watched me for a while with what I imagined was “You asked for it” look.

But the heat inside me had not faded yet. Before I could think more clearly, I pounced. Literally, pounced. I knocked Achilles down with my whole weight, and engaged him to a wrestle position. 

That was probably counted as a nasty fight to these court worriers. Yes, they practiced wrestling too, but that was in a different occasion. 

Not so from where I receive my training. I came from a place of no rule. 

The crowd was exited. 

“Hey! This is not wrestle!” someone exclaimed.

“This kid doesn’t know how to play!”

But I could sense that they didn’t really care. Maybe some of them were even happy to see someone get back at Achilles for them. 

Achilles was motionless for a moment or two, too surprised to react. But quickly, there’s resistance coming from underneath me. Finesse had gone from our mind at some point, and most of what we did was just tangling and tumbling. 

He might be blessed with strength, but he was tired from previous fighting. Besides, I was much heavier than him and had gained advantage from the start. I could hear him panting and was pleased by the fact that I had caused him this much. 

But finally, he found the pivot point; he wrapped his leg around mine, flipped us for one more time, and used his palms to pin me by the shoulder. It hurt, but that was the least of my concern now.

Achilles looked at me from above. His eyes were narrowed, his gold-red hair was now a luxurious mess, and he was panting hard. For a moment I was afraid he was going to punch me----if I could turn a sword play into wrestling, I guess fists weren’t too outrageous too-----but he just kept looking at me with the almost-shock look on his face.

And then, all of a sudden, he cracked a grin, which soon spread into laughs. I was at a loss for a while, and then burst into laughers with him. 

Later when I looked back, that was the first time after I had killed the man I was truly laughing. And truly happy too. At the moment, under the bright sunlight, the coldness of the corpse was the most far away thing in my mind. 

For a long while, no one in the crowd made a sound. Achilles’ laughter seemed to shock the beholders more than anything. 

Later, I asked Achilles why the men were so excited.

“Did you always win in the drill?” I asked.

Achilles snorted lightly: “Of course not. I got beaten down a lot at first.”

“Not much lately.” I guessed.

Achilles nodded. He was strangely silence sometimes.

“Will you come tomorrow?” Achilles asked neutrally. But I noticed that his finger was fiddling with his tunic all the time.

Yes. I want to come. The thought almost glowed in my mind. It surprised even myself. 

I nodded and smiled wryly: “I’ll try and keep up with you. Otherwise you’ll get bored quickly.” 

Achilles blinked. For a moment I was afraid if I was wrong to bring the attitude I used to interact with sailors to the court. But then, Achilles made a little smile. The very thought across my mind was: he was a human, after all. 

“Aren’t you hungry?” I asked. “Do you……do you want to come to our place again and……maybe eat something?”

Achilles blinked again.

“I would……I would like that.” He finally said.

It was a little awkward, but this was a beginning.

 

King Peleus did not begrudge anything we need, so we had plenty of food to choose. When I sat down at the table, I found myself starving. Clearly the fight with Achilles had drained all my power. 

As we ate, I noticed Achilles slowed down obviously after the first few bites.

“Does it taste strange?” I asked. 

“Does it?” he cocked his head. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“It tastes the same.” 

It could mean the bread tasted the same with other bread he had eaten, but something in his expression told me this was not the case.

“You mean the same with other bread?” I asked.

“No. I meant the same with all food......except for one.”

I was shocked: “You meant you can’t taste any flavor?”

Achilles nodded. “They all feel the same.”

“And hungry? Do you feel hungry?”

“Yes. And stuffed too.”

I blurted out without thinking: “God, you must hate me when I ate so happily in front of you!”

Achilles blinked at me, clearly confused. I suddenly felt stupid. And sorry too. 

“But, you said there’s an exception.” I said.

Achilles nodded: “I was very little then. My mother gave me something to drink……”

“Your mother? The sea goddess?” That was a story everyone in Myrmidons knew. The beautiful sea nymph Thetis who was desired by Zeus himself was married to Peleus only because Prometheus prophesied Zeus’ son born by Thetis would be the end of Zeus’ reign. 

“Maybe you should try more kinds of food.” I suggested.

Achilles shook his head, and then I knew. Stupid, I thought to myself, of course he had tried everything already. 

“I’d rather watch you eat.” He said. “I like to watch you eat.”

“Uh?” I was baffled by this strange statement.

“When I see you eat, I can think what it tastes like.” 

“Then what? That would make your food taste better?”

“Sort of.” 

I stared at the bread on my head: “So……I’m supposed to show you how good this tastes. Well……this should not be too hard.”

Then I heard Achilles chuckled again.


	6. Achilles

Something small changed after Patroclus came.

The drill became more……fun. 

Patroclus was good, but that was not the only reason. It seemed to Achilles Patroclus could make the air feel different just by being there. 

One afternoon, when he was again sitting on the watch tower, Achilles saw Patroclus standing amid a few boys not much older than Patroclus. Achilles knew some of them. They were mostly sons of noblemen of Phthia. 

Patroclus and those boys were talking like they knew one another a long time; Achilles saw them laugh at something Patroclus said, and felt annoyed for some reasons unknown to him. 

He sat there watching the blue square of sea, but didn’t feel the urge to play the lyre.

But then, a crisp footstep came from the stairs; Achilles turned and saw Patroclus emerged from the stair well. 

“So now I know why you always disappear after the drill.” Patroclus was smiling. “This is your……”

“What are you doing here?” Achilles blurted out.

Patroclus stiffened visibly. “I don’t mean to intrude……”

Achilles’ eyes widened when he found Patroclus was about to walk away. “That……that’s not what I meant!” 

Patroclus turned and looked at him, head chocked in a questioning way. 

Achilles suddenly felt awkward. “I……”

“Then, can I stay?” the voice was warm, gentle.

Achilles nodded and Patroclus moved to sit beside him.

“I was thinking maybe I can see the sea here.” Patroclus said. “Ah! It’s there!”

Achilles turned and saw Patroclus’ eyes turn brilliantly blue. It’s a mystery to Achilles how Patroclus could be happy over so small a thing. 

“You came here to watch the sea?” 

“Actually……” Patroclus made an embarrassed expression “I was following you here. I was thinking maybe you are doing some secret training or something……”

“Weren’t you talking to those boys?” Achilles asked.

“I was,” Patroclus wrinkled his nose. “But I don’t understand why they talk about their fathers and their father’s position so much……”

“I don’t understand either.” Achilles said, and he suddenly felt glad.

Patroclus smiled and then turned back to the window; somehow he looked content just by looking at the blue square. 

Patroclus suddenly sighed. “I miss the sea.” 

Achilles frowned. “Why? What’s so good about the sea?”

Patroclus turned to look at him. “Um? You don’t like the sea?”

Achilles didn’t answer. 

“The old sailors used to say the sea is volatile because of Poseidon’s temper,” Patroclus chuckled. “But the younger ones called it ‘the blue bitch’.”

Achilles grimaced and made Patroclus chuckle again. 

“You don’t like it here?” Achilles couldn’t help but ask. 

And Patroclus laughed. Though what made him so happy was unknown to Achilles.

 

After that, Achilles asked his father, as causal as he could, if he could take Patroclus to the sea.

His father raised an eyebrow.

“You never ask that before.” He said. But he looked happy. 

Achilles shrugged.

“That is the first time.” His father said.

“First time at sea?” Achilles asked.

His father only smiled some more.

 

Under the arrangement of Peleus, they board a merchant ship. Nobody knew who they were, and if the sailors were curious, they didn’t show it.

That was the first time Achilles ever boarded a ship. He didn’t particularly interested at the sea, the sea birds that perched on the mast or the sailors who liked to yell at every word as they spoke, but Patroclus looked happy. 

“What does a ship usually carry?” Achilles asked.

“A lot of things. Wools, timbers, metals……sometimes wine or cheese, but those are rare because food gets rotten soon.”

“Are they not afraid of getting lost on the sea?”

“They can use the smaller islands as marks. Those islands are extremely useful to sailors.” Patroclus smiled, and then he named some of the small islands that normally used to identify direction.

“You seem to know a lot!” a young sailor interrupted. He seemed impressed by Patroclus, and Achilles felt a strange lightness in his chest. 

“Want a drink?” the sailor offered Patroclus some wine.

“Sure.” Patroclus grinned.

Patroclus took it and let out a big, long breath.

“What?” Achilles asked.

“You just don’t know what you are going to miss one day.” Patroclus said with a sigh and made the sailors laugh.

“We have a little drunker here.” An old sailor teased.

But when they offered the wine to Achilles, Patroclus stepped forward to stand in front of Achilles.

“Hey! He’s just a kid,” Patroclus protested. “Don’t corrupt him!”

Achilles frowned but didn’t say anything, partly because he didn’t feel like speaking with the sailors. And it felt strange to Achilles that Patroclus seemed to feel the need to protect him. 

“Why are you stopping them?” Achilles asked after the sailors scattered.

“Well, you need to be old enough to enjoy wine.”

Achilles frowned again. 

Patroclus chuckled. “And you need some ages to help you restrain from drinking too much.”

If that’s the truth, Patroclus clearly wasn’t old enough himself, because he was clearly drunk that day.

Patroclus even threw some small tantrums at him when Achilles asked him if he would become a worrier of Phthia.

“Don’t decide my future for me,” Patroclus said. “You can’t deprive me of my life!”

“I’m not……”

“Then stop telling me what I am supposed to be!” Patroclus was pouting now.

“What do you want to be then?” He was annoyed too.

Patroclus cocked his head; his body was slightly wavering. “I……I want to be happy.”

“Uh?” that made no sense to Achilles.

But Patroclus did not answer. His body drifted some more, and fell asleep with his head on Achilles’ shoulder.

At the second day of their journey, they stopped to take some passenger on the ship. Patroclus explained that’s the way some ship used to make extra incomes. 

But Achilles’ attention was elsewhere.

There’s a huge fire not far from the beach, so big that he thought he could feel the heat on the ship. 

“What’s that?” Achilles stared at the fire. Not just big, he thought. There was something odd about the fire. 

“Look like a funeral pyre. But it’s so big!” Patroclus cocked his head.

“Everybody listen!” the captain called out from a podium under the mast.

Achilles and Patroclus both turned toward him.

“I just received the news that the fire you are watching now is the funeral pyre of the mighty Heracles!”

Suddenly, the whole ship was swallowed by gasping and yelling. 

“Heracles died?”

“How could anyone kill him? He was our greatest hero!”

Achilles was similarly stunned. 

“Is that true?” he murmured.

“Yes,” A man answered before Patroclus could say anything. “The fire had been there for three days; people said it’s Zeus who made the fire last this long.”

They both turned to the stranger. It was a man about forty; he was one of the men who had just board the ship; he dressed in white long robs down to the ankles with a red short cape----- standard dress of a bard. 

“You were there?” Achilles asked.

“Yes, I was fortunate enough to see it through.” The bard smiled. 

“Isn’t that a bit weird to be so happy over somebody’s death?” Patroclus cocked one eye brow.

“Sorry, I suppose I was a little carried away; but as a bard, I am really gratified to be there, witnessing the death of our greatest hero.”

“How did he die?” Achilles asked.

“It’s a long story,” the bard said: “Have you heard about the prophecy saying that Heracles would be killed by a dead enemy?”

They both shook their head. 

“How can a dead person kill Heracles?” Patroclus asked.

“That was what Heracles had been thinking too, so he just snorted at it. But then, something unexpected happened.”

“What happened?” Achilles asked.

“He fell in love with a young woman, and was planning to marry her. His wife, with the wish to win back his love, made a special robe for him, which she dipped into a supposed love portion.”

“Supposed?” 

“Yes, the man gave it to her some decades ago told her it could make Heracles love her forever. But the portion was actually a deadly poison, and he gave it to Heracles’ wife in revenge of being fatally wounded by Heracles.”

“He was the dead enemy in the prophecy!” Patroclus exclaimed.

“Yes.” The bard said. “The poison made Heracles suffer so much he finally decided death was more preferable.”

“He…..he killed himself?” Patroclus stared at the bard.

“He made a huge funeral pyre, and asked to be burned alive.”

“Burned alive?” Patroclus’ eyes bulged. 

“It’s hard to believe there’s such pain that made being burned a preferable choice, but it’s true. I had seen.”

Such pain, such suffering……Achilles thought about it, and suddenly at a loss about why human was born at all. What’s there that worth the pain?

“Describe it.” Achilles said suddenly.

“What specifically do you mean?”

“Heracles. How did he……”

“He walked on the firewood and begged somebody to light the pyre for him. He was groaning and squirming, but nobody dared to do this for him.”

“And then?” Patroclus asked.

“He begged and begged, and finally, a boy named Pheloctitis volunteered, and Heracles gave him his bow to thank him for ending his suffering.“

Patroclus murmured: “Another hero came to a bad end.”

“Yes, yet another.” The bard said calmly. “Just as those heroes came before him.”

“You mean they suffered because they were heroes?” Achilles asked. “Why?”

The bard smiled. “Because heroes can’t be separated from the time and the place they live in. There is a need for a hero, and the Gods come to help him, making a hero out of a human. But when the need disappears, the Gods leave the hero to face the rest of his life. And a hero abandoned by gods is the most wretched, because he would not know how to go back and be a normal man again.”

Achilles turned to look at the fire, feeling something heavy loading in his chest.

“But still, people want to become heroes.” The bard said. 

“Because they see the false glamour.” Patroclus said.

“No,” the bard shook his head. “The light is true. Heroes are like stars shine in the darkness. If you really think about it, what is there in a normal person’s life except working, eating and sleeping? Take a farmer for example; they work from sunset to sundown, eat dinner, and then go to sleep. What’s the meaning of such life?”

Patroclus grimaced. 

The bard continued. “Yes, that is us. But then, heroes come, and suddenly we know how life could be lived.”

“Most people don’t have the chance or talent to become heroes.” Patroclus protested.

“Yes, but still……”The bard said with a chanting voice.

“I don’t agree with you.” Patroclus said. “There’re many things that can make a live worth living.”

“Your little friend here doesn’t seem to agree with you.” the bard said and smiled at Achilles.

Achilles frowned. “I didn’t say anything.”

But as he turned, he saw Patroclus looking at him with sorrow.

“I am fine.” Achilles said.

Then he suddenly remembered something.

“I have heard another bard sing about a kind of herb called Moly; is it true it can fight off magic?”

“According to the legend,” the bard said. “I always bring some with me, but I don’t know if it really works. You know, most of us live our entire live without encountering any magic.”

“Can you give me some?” Achilles asked.

“Sure,” the bard answered and gave some dry leaves to both of them. “I hope you’ll never need it.”

To that, Achilles didn’t answer.


	7. Patroclus

After I came to Pathia, Achilles and I spent great deal of our time together. We attended drills together, we ate together, and sometimes Achilles would even sleep in our house. 

But some part of Achilles stayed mystery to me. Sometimes he would fell into strange silence when we are talking, sometimes after the drill he would still be in a “frenzy” that he wouldn’t let go of the sword. Sometimes he would disappear before I awoke and left no words.

It felt like there’s a device in Achilles’ head, whenever he came too near to we sheer mortals, it would try to pull him away a little. 

Such was one of those times. 

King Peleus arranged me to learn about horse riding. Born and raised on the sea, naturally I don’t know a thing about horse; I was hoping Achilles would practice with me, even though I knew he was a good rider already.

But Achilles’ reaction was only one sentence.

“No. I don’t like the woman.” He said. 

I wasn’t expected to be rejected so thoroughly. “You mean the woman who will teach me riding?”

Achilles nodded. 

I didn’t talk anymore. I didn’t want Achilles to think me as weak or dependent. I didn’t want to act like a stupid duckling sticking with the first thing it saw.

“I’ll meet you after your lesson.” Achilles said.

“Sure.” I shrugged to hide my feeling of lost. 

Achilles seemed to hesitate, and then he leaned forward, like he was about to say something. So I reciprocated the gesture.

“Pick the white horse, the tallest one.” He said beside my ear. And I was immediately excited.

 

My teacher was a woman named Helena. She was in her twenties, red haired, tall and slim, with eyes sharper than all the women I had ever seen. I had heard that she was the daughter of a commander and it showed at her disdainful expression. 

When I walked toward the white horse, she stopped me harshly: “Don’t try that one at your first class. Pick a small one.”

I was really disappointed.

“How long before I can ride the white horse?” I asked.

“When I decide you are ready.” She said with her chin tilted. I could almost hear”maybe never” hung in the air. But right now all I could do was tried to make her think I was qualified. 

So I carefully followed her order, and learned by heart all the tips she gave me. But at the end of the day, when I asked if I could try the white horse, she went bristle again.

“Why are you so obsessed with Belios? He is not a horse for practicing, can’t you see it? Anyway, the king will never give him to you in the battle. So why bother? ”

“I’m not trying to claim it for my own.” I tried to say it as calmly as I could: “I just……I like it.”

“It’s Achilles, isn’t it? He told you to do this?” She suddenly said. “I knew that. He was always making trouble for this house.”

“But this is his house.” And judging from her expression, these were the wrong words to say.

When I went home that day, my father had already prepared our dinner.

“How’s your class going?”

“Fine.” I said tersely. I was still having trouble facing my father. 

The next day, Achilles did not came to the drill. I waited past noon, but still he didn’t show up. That was unsettlingly strange. For months Achilles did not miss a single day of practice. 

Was he sick? But he looked normal just the day before. Or was he had known about me not choosing the white horse, and was angry about it?

I went to the stable absent-minded. And Helena wasn’t there yet. Yet.

I looked at the horse, and those big, moist brown eyes looked back at me. There’s definitely something special about this one. He looked intelligent and……sad. I supposed that was a usual combination for human, but I had never seen it in an animal. 

I made a decision that I was going to ride it no matter what that woman said. 

I heard footsteps approaching the stable, and quickly pulled the horse out. The white horse was bigger than other horses in the stable, so I spent a fair amount of time to mount. I patted on his neck gently; trying to convince him I wasn’t going to hurt him.

The door opened, Helena stepped inside and turned pale at the sight of me on the white horse.

“What are you doing?” her voice elevated. 

“Don’t worry! I just……” I said between short breathes. 

Before I could finish my words, the horse charged out of the stable. 

“Wow! Hey! Where are you going?” I asked breathlessly.

He was fast but at the same time smooth and quiet. After a while, I found the horse was heading toward the beach. This was a land of white sand and weed, and almost no one went there……or so Achilles told me. 

As the horse stopped, I jumped of the horse and looked around; there’s nothing but reeds that almost could touch my chest. 

“Are you sure you want to stop here?” I asked the horse. He ignored me.

Suddenly, the sea of reeds undulated like there’s a strong wind cut through it. Then the green wave cleaved before me, revealing a familiar face. 

It’s Achilles!

“You come!” Achilles’ green eyes glittered. 

“Achilles!” I looked at him incredulously: “How long have you been here?”

“From the sunrise.” He cocked his head.

“What? Why?”

Achilles turned to face the sea.

I didn’t understand at first. What? The sea? Was this some sort of answer? Then it suddenly downed on me.

“You are waiting for your mother?”

Achilles nodded: “Today is my birthday. She used to come to me on my birthday.”

“Then why do you bring me here?” I turned to watch the horse. “You told him to get me her, right?”

Achilles nodded: “He can understand human language, so I told you to choose him. But……if you don’t want to be here, I’ll tell him to send you back.”

“You always wait alone?” I asked. 

Achilles turned to the sea again. So I understood, that’s why Achilles brought me here.

“Didn’t she tell you……uh, more specific time when she would come?”

Achilles shrugged.

I guessed this made some kind of sense……in her unfathomable, divine brain anyway. She had eternity to waste; what’s the big deal if she kept you waiting for a day or two?

“But why not just go to the palace?” I asked. 

“She doesn’t like to be among humans.”

I have heard enough stories to know gods and goddesses thought of having relationship with human disgracing. But it seemed so unnecessarily cool to let Achilles sit here waiting all day.

“If you really don’t want to be here……” Achilles said it almost coolly, like he didn’t care the least.

Yeah, that’s totally convincing. That’s why I was here in the first place.

“No, I don’t want to go. Helena is probably waiting to spank me for stealing the horse.”

“She has no right to do so.” Achilles said sternly.

“Regardless. I’m staying.” I said: “But what if your mother doesn’t want me to be here? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a human too.”

Achilles tensed visibly. 

“It’s fine.” I waved my own question away: “We just wait.”

So we sat together in the reeds. I was sorry that Achilles didn’t have his lyre with him, because I missed the soothing song so much. 

Achilles was silent. I wanted to tell him some jokes, but soon decided against it. Telling this demigod prince sailor jokes probably counted as depravity. 

My thoughts kept wandering on end while Achilles sat unwavering. He kept his gaze locked on the sea all along. I watched Achilles for a while, and then stupidly, I fell asleep.

I was wakened up by a push at my head. I opened my eyes and found it was Achilles pushing me off his shoulder. 

“Hey!” I wanted to protest, but I soon noticed there’s something happening.

Achilles stood up, and so did I. And there she was, bathed in the first ray of moonlight, beautiful even more than the forming twilight.

She looked so young, no more than eighteen in human standard. I was expecting a goddess to stay young forever, but she was not much older than a child.

Yet there’s no doubt she was Achilles’ mother. Her face was exactly like Achilles, even the green eyes and gold-red hair; only Achilles’ was more gold than red, and hers the other way around.

“Achilles.” She said. Her voice seemed to echo itself, like sounds in seashells.

She touched Achilles’ face with her snow white fingers, like touching something precious and frail. 

I was afraid she would chase me off or worse, turned away and left, but she didn’t even seem to notice me.

“Achilles.” She said again.

Achilles just looked up at her and didn’t say anything. The expression on his face was almost helpless, as if he couldn’t even bring himself to speak.

“……mother.” He finally said. 

Thetis smiled and wrapped her arms around Achilles. I saw Achilles closed his eyes for a minute.

Maybe I should go now, I thought to myself. This was the time Achilles had been waiting for a whole year. But I didn’t. I just stayed in the reeds, trying to make myself unnoticeable……which probably wasn’t very difficult.

“It had been a year.” Achilles said.

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you come?” Achilles took a deep breath, like he was bracing himself for the answer.

Thetis let go of Achilles; her face was unreadable. “Achilles, my home is at the sea.”

“I know.” There’s a pause, but not for long. “But there’s a time, you were with me all the time. When I was every little.”

“You remember that?” Thetis’ face softened.

“I remember you let me drink something, and sing songs to me.”

“Achilles……”

“Then all of a sudden, you stopped to come.” Achilles looked confused……and hurt.

“I did not change,” Achilles frowned: “So, what had changed?”

Thetis looked away.

“Mother?” Achilles’ sound was trembling now. I almost hoped he would stop here and forget about the question. You have been waiting this for a year now, haven’t you? Don’t risk ruining this all! But then I realized he must have stopped himself several times already. 

“Mother?” Achilles stepped near Thetis. 

“If you must know……” Thetis’ face twisted.

Achilles didn’t answer. But he didn’t back down either.

“If you must know, what I gave you is something called ambrosia.”

Ambrosia, food for gods. It was not something human can eat. I suddenly understood, this was the reason why Achilles couldn’t taste anything. Because he had tasted god’s food. Though briefly, it had changed him forever.

Thetis was still talking: “I gave you ambrosia because I wanted to make you immortal.”

“But I am not immortal. I was nearly drowned when I was little. I was wounded seriously one time when I fell from a cliff.” Achilles said.

“Because your father interrupted the process……ignorant human!” Thetis said angrily, her hair flickering like real flame. “Now you’ll never be immortal.”

Achilles frowned: “I don’t understand. Why you stop coming because of this? Everyone else is like me, mortal.”

“No, it’s different for me. It’s too hard for me to be here, knowing I will lose you in no time. I had known this even before you were born, Achilles. I know from the beginning you are fated to die young, killing by a stealth arrow.”

I was shocked. Achilles would die young? And this woman……or goddess just spat it out in front of a kid?

Achilles’ face was pale. “But it has not yet happened. Can’t you tell me how to avoid it?”

Thetis raised her hands to cover her face like a little girl. For a moment I thought she was going to cry, but when she put down her hands, I saw her green eyes were dry. 

“No. Nobody can. Fate is superior power even to gods. Whatever you do, wherever you go, the fated death will always be there, waiting for you.” 

Achilles took a step back. Thetis did not move, she looked at Achilles sadly, like……like he was dead already. That was too cruel even for me to watch.

Achilles suddenly turned and ran. 

“Achilles!” I yelled. But Achilles did not stop.

I knew I could not outrun him, so I turned to Belios. But when I tried to mount, Belios backed away.

“Please! I want……I need to be there!” though what I could do I did not know.

The horse stared at me for a moment, and then stepped forward to his original place. 

“Thanks you” I quickly mounted and steadied myself before he ran. Belios ran at a ruthless speed, and I had to use all my limbs to hold on to him.

Belios stopped abruptly and nearly send me into the sky. I gazed around from the horseback, and thanked to the advantage of height, I spotted the small figure curled up in the reeds.

Achilles was not crying; he just sat there, arms around his own knees. He looked so small, like a cub of wolf, almost submerged into the reeds. I sat beside Achilles, who didn’t even budge since I came.

“Achilles.” I said softly. “Are you all right?”

“Fine. I just don’t understand.”

“Don’t understand what?” I asked.

“I don’t understand what she said.” Achilles frowned deeply: “Did she……did she mean because I can’t be immortal, and because I will die soon, she doesn’t want to see me anymore?”

Achilles finally looked up at me, but I almost wanted to turn away at the moment. 

I wanted to say ’I’m sorry, Achilles.’ But no words came out.

Finally, I reached forward and wrapped my arms around Achilles’ head. Be well, I thought, just be well, kid. 

Achilles put on no resist; he still got the thoughtful expression on his face, like his mind and thought was in a faraway place beyond my reach. 

The next day, Achilles acted like nothing had happened. Only now, he fell into those episodic silences more frequently. 

Months passed, we became close gradually; closer than I had been with anyone else except my father. But sometimes I still felt the loneliness of not being able to reach him.

There’s one night, Achilles slept in our house again; in the middle of the night, I was wakened up by a strange sound. When I opened my eyes, I saw it was Thetis weeping with her head on his chest. She was glowing slightly, that’s why I could see in the night.

I was suddenly chilled all over. Why wasn’t Achilles wakened by the weeping sound? For a moment I was afraid he was dead. But I could see Achilles was still breathing at regular pace, and there’s no pain on his face either.

I thought it must be some sort of spell Thetis gave Achilles that made him sound asleep. But I couldn’t think of the reason why she would want to do so. 

“Goddess Thetis?” I said. If she heard me, she didn’t response. She was weeping with all her heart. I was thoroughly confused; if she loved Achilles that much, why not come to see him when he was awake? Why not cherish the limited time she had with him?

Then I found there’s some familiarity in the gesture of Thetis. I searched my memories and realized it was the gesture when one was mourning the dead.

I let out a shaky sigh involuntarily. I still couldn’t understand her feeling, but I thought I knew the reason now. For an immortal goddess, a life as short as Achilles’ was as good as dead already. Achilles’ beauty and brightness was only a reminder of what she was going lose all too soon. So she couldn’t bring herself to be near him; so she came in the night to mourn the death yet to come.

Thetis, you are a fool and a coward, I thought. Maybe that’s why she had face of a little girl----- because that’s what she was, a little girl who couldn’t grow up even after thousands of years. 

“Goddess Thetis, please listen to me!” I said again. This time, Thetis stopped her mourning. She still didn’t face me, but I knew she was listening.

“Achilles would be so happy knowing you came to see him!”

Thetis did not reply.

“Don’t you want to be with Achilles?”

Thetis was silent for a long time. Just when I thought she would never talk to me, her voice came like the last breath of the dead.

“It’s of no use.” She said and stood up, her figure began to fade.

“Wait!” I yelled. But Thetis was already gone. 

I sighed and turned my gaze back to Achilles. And shocked.

Achilles was awake.

“Achilles, when……” I stuttered.

“When you started to talk to her.” he said. He looked a little dreamy, but if it’s the case, that was not a good dream. “The moly works, I think.”

I didn’t know what to say. 

“Patroclus.” He said.

“Um?”

“Patroclus.” He said again. His voice wavered a little, like my name was something material he can hold on to. 

“Um?”

“Patroclus.” He said again, before closing his eyes again.


	8. Achilles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter there's a character named Las; I know he was someone killed by Patroclus or Achilles(according to Wiki), but I can't find any other background about this guy. But I think he was probably not what I made him to be.......

In the summer, a plague spread in the countryside of Phthia. Though the scale was not large, the people were nervous about it.

Peleus summoned Achilles and told him: “Achilles, I’ll leave the palace for a while.” 

Achilles lifted his head to look at his father. He was eleven now and much taller than a year ago. 

“I’ll preside over a sacrifice, and hopefully, the gods will be placated.” The king said. “I know you’ll be fine. You are much stronger than I now.”

“Only a few days. You can go live with Patroclus.”

And that was exactly what he did.

The first day passed quickly. 

After the drill, he stayed at Patroclus’ house, where he heard Patroclus and his father talk about what happened at their past voyages and the journey of Argo.

“Nobody knew Medea was the true monster to Jason.” Menoetius said in a menacing low voice. 

Patroclus turned to Achilles and made a face. His lips were silently forming the word: “Again.” 

Achilles chuckled and caused Menoetius to toss him a suspicious look. 

At night, Achilles and Patroclus slept in the same room. Menoetius sent them to bed early, and they would both keep quiet until Menoetius left, and then they would chat or Achilles would play lyre for Patroclus. Tonight, after Menoetius was gone, Patroclus playfully pounced on him, and they end up wrestling on bed while struggling to keep their voice down. Unlike sword fighting, wrestling between them was almost a game of same odds.

Patroclus let out a muffled chuckle when Achilles’ leg brushed against his side. Achilles seized the chance and pinned Patroclus on to the bed.

“You can let go now.” Patroclus said. “I think my father was gone.”

“Do you concede?” 

In the dim light, Achilles could see there was a teasing smile on Patroclus’ face: “You are really stubborn.” 

“So are you.”

And they end up wrestling until both were covered in sweat.

 

“I used to believe I would become a sailor one day.” Patroclus said after they both lay flat on the bed. “Have my own ship and travel around and all that.”

That made Achilles frown. He didn’t like the thought of Patroclus leaving the palace.

Patroclus laughed: “Achilles, you look sulky.”

“I’m not.”

“Must be the light.” Patroclus chuckled.

“Don’t you want to become a warrior?”

“Don’t force me to make decision.” Patroclus smacked his tongue. But he didn’t look unhappy.

“But……” Achilles was searching for words again. 

Patroclus flung an arm to tug him closer: “I’ll go as far as I can with you.“

They usually slept on separate bed, but that was a chilling night, and they were all tangled and warm that none of them were willing to let go.

The next morning, they were awakened by Menoetius’ yelling.

“Patroclus! Achilles!” the voice was harsh and rough.

They untangled their limbs from each other at once and jumped off the bed. 

“What?” Patroclus asked.

Achilles glanced around, and saw there was another man in the room. Achilles recognized that he was one of the guards.

“What happened?” Achilles walked toward the man.

“There is a giant of a man at the gate, yelling for……” the man stopped abruptly.

“For what?” Achilles said impatiently. 

“Patroclus……” the man’s eyes darted to Patroclus’ 

“What?" Achilles felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

Patroclus turned to look at his father. 

“Did he give you his name?” Menoetius asked.

“Yes! Las it is!”

Patroclus’s face turned pale. 

“Did anyone tell him Patroclus is here?” Achilles asked.

“No, but……”

“You listen!” Achilles stepped forward: “Don’t let anyone’s tongue slip! Understand?”

“Yes!” The man made a strangled sound.

“Now go back.” Achilles ordered. 

“But, he was pounding the gate! And he was incredibly strong and big……”

Patroclus cringed at the words.

“Just go. Stop him with all you get. I don’t care how!” Achilles snapped. 

“Who is this Las?” Achilles asked after the messenger was gone. 

It was Menoetius who answered the question: “Patroclus and I came here because……” 

“I know,” Achilles interrupted: “Is this Las his family or friend?”

Menoetius looked surprised by Achilles’ confession, but he soon resumed his talking: “After the accident, the man was fatally wounded. We tried to save him, but he won’t let us. He just kept babbling about his friend Las and how he would avenge him.”

“So he is seeking revenge?” Achilles frowned.

Menoetius nodded: “After the man die, we tried to destroy his face before disposing his body, I don’t know how……”

“What?” Patroclus looked terrified.

“Shut up!” Menoletius was red with anger: “We did this for you!” 

“But it’s been three years! How did he......” Achilles said incredulously.

“I don’t know.” Menoetius shook his head.

Achilles lowered his head for a while, and then spoke suddenly: “Patroclus, you should go.”

“He is right.” Menoetius said.

“Take Belios,” Achilles added: “I gave him to you. On his back nobody can catch you. He’ll protect you.”

“Thank you, prince Achilles.” Menoetius said. But Patroclus just kept staring at him, like he couldn’t believe what Achilles had just said.

“Patroclus!” Menoletius pushed his shoulder roughly: “Gather yourself.”

“Achilles……” Patroclus said, like he was just snapping out of a trance: “What are you going to do if he intrudes?”

“I’ll keep him here.” Achilles said: “I’ll kill him if necessary.”

“But you can’t kill him.” Menoetius said.

“Why?” Achilles demanded.

“If the man’s brag was true, Las is like you, a demigod. But he is the son of the mighty Poseidon.”

“You mean I’m not strong enough because my mother is just a sea nymph.” Achilles frowned hard. “But you never came to see me fight.”

Menoetius rolled his eyes: “That’s not the only reason. Poseidon is famous for his terrible temper and so are most of his heirs. If you kill or even hurt him, Poseidon will most likely seek his revenge.”

“Achilles, please.” Patroclus stepped forward; he looked truly worried. 

“You should go now.” Achilles said.

“But how do we know when to come back?” Patroclus asked.

Despite himself, Achilles felt warmth ran through him: “I’ll sent Xanthus to find you. He is Belios’ brother; he’ll be able to find you.”

Achilles said and then ran outside the house. But just when he was about to mound the wall, a light appeared before him, and gradually materialized into a slim, beautiful figure.

“Mother?” Achilles’ eyes widened in shock.

“Achilles, you can’t fight him.” Thetis said. 

Achilles felt a prick on the chest: ”Is that what you see? The future?”

Thetis did not answer that.

“Does he use arrow?” Achilles asked.

“No.”

“Then I shall not be killed by him.”

“But……” Thetis looked like a helpless little girl.

Achilles felt his chest full. Too full for him to breath now.

“Until the arrow finds me, I can do anything. I’m invincible.” Achilles smiled with a tinge of bitterness.

“No! Achilles! There are other consequences……” Thetis’ voice was almost breaking his heart, but Achilles did not stop.

“Prince Achilles!” The guards on the wall exclaimed. 

Achilles looked down at the city gate, and saw a man about two times the height of an average man pounding the gate with bare fists. The gate made cracking sound every time his fist landed on the gate. 

“Why not just shoot him?” Achilles asked.

“The angle……he can just hide under the rafter tail when we shoot!” a man yelled.

The gate won’t hold very long, Achilles thought. But he’ll have to buy Patroclus some time.

“Who are you, brute? Why are you here to harass my people and disrupt my palace?” Achilles yelled.

Las actually had the cheek to make a fancy bow before speak: “I am a civilized man, not a brute, little prince. “

“Then what are you doing here, breaking the gate of my house?”

”I’m here to find a brat who had killed my friend. All I want is revenge. It is my rightful duty.” Las said, his voice booming and his words full of pretention.

“The one you speak of is not here!” 

“I’m afraid I’ll have to search the palace myself.” Las sneered at him.

“I will not let you do this.” Achilles said.

“Then you’ll have to face the wrath of a demigod descend upon you!”

Achilles felt his face twitched: “I’m a demigod too.”

“Yes, so I have heard. You are a little prince born by a little sea nymph, and I am son to the lord of the sea, Poseidon himself!” As that, Las resumed his powerful pounding. 

“Stop that!” Achilles snapped. But this time, Las just ignored him. 

“Give me my sword and armor!” Achilles yelled at the guards, who scrambled away to fetch things for him.

“No! Achilles!” Thetis appeared beside him.

“Mother,” Achilles looked her in the eyes: “Maybe you don’t know, but I am strong.”

“No……” Thetis shook her head: “You don’t understand! “

“What do you mean?”

Thetis kept shaking her head: “I’m going to lift up the mist for a while, and then you’ll know why I can’t let you go!”

Achilles knew “the mist” meant a veil that prevented mortals from seeing the divine power underneath everything. 

Before Achilles could say anything, Thetis waved her hand. All of a sudden, everything in front of his eyes brightened for a notch. 

Achilles looked downed again, and this time, Las’ figure had changed. It was not only a big man. It’s a giant with only one eye in the middle of the head. 

“What is he?” Achilles blurted out.

“A Cyclops. Although it is not immortal, it had power close to the Gods.” Thetis said: “That’s what happened when Poseidon had a child with one of my kind.”

Achilles remembered Poseidon had been one of his mother’s suitors. So that’s what would happen if she had chosen Poseidon, he thought.

“But I can’t let him……or it hurt Patroclus. I don’t care who he kill, but it can’t be Patroclus.”

Just then, someone fetched him sword and armor.

“Little prince, do you really want to fight me?”

But Achilles only quietly put on the armor, and then came of embrace Thetis briefly. Thetis was trembling in his arms.

“Mother, I’ll come back soon. I promised you.” he said softly. 

And then, Achilles climbed the ladder down to stand in front of Las. He had a sword in his hand too, and it was twice the size of Achilles’.

“Why are you doing this, little one? Really?” The Cyclops cocked his head.

“Because I can.” That was not entirely true. But it was what came to his mouth first, and he said it anyway.

“Ah, then you are like a god. You are a god without god’s power and immortality. How wretched!” 

Achilles’ face twitched. And then he charged.

Achilles was quick; this blow caught the breach of Las’ defense precisely. It cut into Las’ shoulder, and cause the giant to scream like a cow being sacrificed. It was enough to penetrate a human’s lung, but Las was a Cyclops. The length of Achilles’ sword was only enough to cut through some flesh and fat.

“Little prince, I am really angry now!” Las yelled. He swung his heavy sword at Achilles----Achilles dodged the blow, but the wind it made was enough to send him into the air.

The sword was a nuisance, Achilles thought. 

Achilles grabbed Las’ shoulder to fling himself forward, and with a quick strike he cut through Las’ fist that was holding the sword. The sword hit the ground accompanied by Las’ deafening shouting. 

But before Achilles could resume his battle posture, he was hit at stomach by Las’ strike. And it was worse than being punched by a man ten times. He almost puked at once, and he felt like all his blood had rushed to his head. 

Achilles was stilled dizzy when he hit the ground. He quickly tried to stand up, but it was already too late. 

A giant hand grabbed his right ankle, and with a shiver Achilles suddenly felt his power drained. His limbs was suddenly woody and powerless, even his breathe felt heavy.

Achilles couldn’t fathom what had happened; he was powerless, and fear was like poison spreading all over his body.

“Ah, you don’t even know your own weakness, little. Prin-ce.”

Weakness? What weakness? Achilles suddenly felt sick. 

”You think having one eye is pathetic? But this eye was granted with special power……I can see the weakest point in you!” The Cyclops pressed his bulged, ugly eye in front of Achilles. The eye should be an easy target at this distance, but Achilles couldn’t even move. He had never been so fear in his whole life.

“What did you do to me?” His voice was trembling. He hated it, but he couldn’t control it.

“Not my doing, you wretched little thing. Ask your mother what she had done to give you this……” And then he pinched Achilles’ ankle.

Achilles shouted with the terrible pain. 

Thetis screamed.

“What should I do?” Las grinned viciously: “Should I go straight and crumble your ankle, or torture you when you cannot move?” 

Achilles couldn’t speak. He was almost petrified with fear.

Just then, Thetis shouted again: “Zeus, are you not lord of all gods? Why do you keep silent? Will you not save my son, my Achilles, the son that should have been yours?”

All of a sudden, a silver lightening cut open the sky. The startled Cyclops let go of Achilles at once. But Achilles couldn’t summon the strength to escape.

The lightening stroke again, this time beside Las’ feet. 

Achilles couldn’t even close his eyes. He couldn’t move his gaze, until finally the darkness came, and dragged him in to the depth of his nightmare.


	9. Patroclus

“Achilles!” I exclaimed when his eyelash began to flutter.

Achilles slowly opened his eyes, but the green eyes were lifeless.

“Achilles, are you all right?” I almost chocked at my words.

“Patroclus?” he blinked at me, like he was not sure if he was still dreaming.

“Yes,” I grinned with unshed tears: “I’m glad you still remember my name.”

But Achilles didn’t seem to register the joke. He was staring into the void space; his expression empty.

“What happened?” he finally asked. His voice was dry as gravel.

“Las is gone. You saved my life.” 

That seemed to get those deadly eyes lightened a little. 

“Why are you here?” he asked: “I did not send the horse.”

“I had waited a whole day! After that I just couldn’t stand anymore……” I was afraid Achilles might be hurt, or worse, be killed. “So I sneaked back, and found you still unconscious......”

There was something melted under his deadpan face; a tired, inconspicuous smile tugged at the corner of his lips, but it soon disappeared like melting snow.

“Do you want some water?”

Achilles shook his head.

“Your Parents are here too.” I moved from his bedside to let him see Thetis standing at the end of the bed.

Thetis slowly lifted her face from her hands where she had buried her face for a long time. Thetis was trembling; Her lips half opened but nothing came out.

“Mother.” Achilles looked up at his mother.

“Achilles……”

“Mother……what did he mean……what did the Cyclops mean about my ’weakness’?” Achilles asked weakly.

Thetis bit her lip. 

After a long waiting, finally, she opened her lips.

“I had told you about the ambrosia. I was feeding you ambrosia while putting you on the fire from Olympus……that was the process that could make a demigod immortal.”

“But it was not complete.” Achilles said.

“No. it was not.” Thetis bit her lips again. “And at the final step, your right heel was burned by the fire……that’s why it became so fragile.”

Thetis looked in shame. But she didn’t say she was sorry. Not once.

Achilles shut his eyes. 

“Achilles?” King Peleus stepped forward.

“Please……please leave me.” Achilles said with his eyes shut.

The king hesitated, but he finally complied. 

“I’ll leave some men outside. Send them for me whenever you want.” the king said. Then they both turned to leave.

“Patroclus?” the king turned to me. But I didn’t want to leave.

“Can I stay?” I asked Achilles.

Achilles opened his eyes a slit. He stayed like that for a while, and then gave the tiniest nod.

“Achilles, they are both gone.” I informed him after the door was closed.

He nodded again.

“Achilles, I haven’t thank you for saving my live.”

He shook his head.

“Achilles……” I had run out of polite meaningless words to say. 

“Patroclus.” He suddenly cut me off.

“Yes?”

“Patroclus, I was afraid.” He said with trembling voice.

“I think so. Anybody would be afraid.”

He didn’t seem to hear me. Achilles said again: “I was so afraid……”

I felt a lump stuck in my throat: “It’s over now. It’s fine now……”

But I knew very clearly in my heart this was not over. This would never be over until the day Achilles die.

“I was so afraid……before today I didn’t know I could be so afraid……”

“Achilles……”

“Patroclus,” he suddenly brought his hands up to cover both of his eyes: “Patroclus, I am not who my father thinks I am. I am not who I thought I was……”

I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t remember I had felt such pain before, not even when I was forced to exile for killing the man.

 

 

Physically, Achilles had no permanent impairment, and he soon recovered enough to attend the drill at the second day after he awoke……though it felt ridiculous to me that Achilles was thinking about it at all.

“I want to be stronger.” He said quietly. Clearly it was the only solution he could think of to get rid of his fear, and I had no better answer for him.

At the third day, the king summoned us both.

“Patroclus, you are not save here.” the king said.

I knew this was coming. In fact, I was surprised my father hadn’t told me the same.

But I didn’t want to separate with Achilles, especially now. But I knew the king was right, so I just stood there in silence.

“And…… Achilles, you seem to be even more eager to improve your strength now.”

This was also true, but I was at a loss of what he wanted to say.

“I think I have a solution for both of you.”

My eyes immediately widened. Could there be?

“I’m planning to send you both to study under Chiron.”

I was shocked to hear the name. If we were not under the present circumstances, I might have exclaimed.

“Chiron the centaur?” I asked.

The king nodded.

“But I heard him being killed by Heracles’.” I emitted the arrow part of course.

I was pleased to find Achilles’ eyes widened in curiosity. He was just a kid after all.

“He was wounded by Heracles, but he is not dead. He is not like other centaur: he is immortal.” Peleus said: “But it is said that he is still tormented by the poison in his blood.”

“Will he take us in?” Achilles asked.

“I heard he doesn’t take apprentice easily. But you are both talented fighter, I believe he’ll be glad to have you.”

After the plan was settled, I was relieved to find Achilles more alive than before. Maybe it’s because the feeling to have something to hold on to distracted Achilles; maybe the pain would come back again. But for now, it was good enough.

To avoid attracting too much attention, we did not bring too many men with us. We were both on horseback: me on Bilios, Achilles on Xanthus.

We traveled two day before arriving at mountain Pelion where Chiron lived.

According to legend, Chiron had left two warning for those who wanted to visit him: first was never travel in the night, and the second was not to harm the mountain. 

Both Achilles and I had no intention to trend on those codes. We rested for the night, and the next morning, we left the horse with the footmen, and started to mount the mountain. 

At first it didn’t seem to be a hard task, but after noon we soon realized we won’t be able to find Chiron in one day without a major miracle.

“Maybe we should go back and try again tomorrow.” I said. 

Achilles said. “Maybe if we stay in some hidden place then it will be fine. So long as we are not ‘traveling’.”

So we climbed up a big olive tree to rest. Achilles wanted to cut some vines to make bed and was unpleased when I stopped him. 

“You think I can’t?” he asked.

“No, I’m sure you can make wonderful beds. But the rules says we can’t damage the mountain, remember?”

Achilles smacked his tongue but did as I said.

I was no stranger to the wild, but Achilles was clearly enthralled by the wildness. The world was suddenly wide open, and so many things to see. It must be hard for Achilles to not been able to explore anything.

“Patroclus.” He said after we both settled ourselves on the branch. 

“Um?”

“You are going to learn from the famous Chiron,” he said: “You know what it means?”

“Meaning we’ll be living in cave together for the years to come.”

“More.” He turned to face me: “It will be hard for you to go back to be a sailor anymore.”

“Wow, you are plotting this?” I said with a wry smile. He did not answer that.

“Sleep, Achilles. You’ll feel better tomorrow.”

“Or fall down from the tree, smash my ankle and die tonight.” He said with a small voice.

“Wow, that’s……dark thought, isn’t it?” I said drily. 

“I don’t want to sleep,” his voice was suddenly filled with anger: “I want to become a warrior right now.”

I felt my chest tightened at the statement.

“We’ll become warriors together.” I said with a sudden urge: “You’ll just have to wait for me.”

Then suddenly Achilles’ eyes glitter in the dim light of the dust. For a moment, I thought he was going to say something, but he turned his head and tensed abruptly.

“Are you all right?” I asked.

“Somebody is here.” He said with a restrained voice.

Shortly after, I heard hoof-beats clip-clop toward us. We both stared with wide eyes as a figure jumped from the bushes into existence.

“Is that Chiron?” Achilles asked.

“Legend can be wrong at many aspects, but……” I frowned: ”I think at least Chiron would be a man……uh, male?”

The figure was a female centaur. She was completely naked, with brown long hair the same color with her fur waist down. She looked panic, terrified; before we could make any sense of this, another figure jumped into our sight, this time a male centaur.

But he was not Chiron, either. He was a masculine man above; his face was flaming like a drunken man; his eyes filled with anger and frenzy. My heart raced as my instinct told me what was going to happen. And beside me, I heard Achilles said: “What are they doing?”

“Don’t ask me that!”

“But you have already heard me.”

Even as we spoke (stupidly), the male centaur caught the female centaur, and he pushed her face onto a tree while at the same time slipped a hand to grab her bare breasts. When it was about to happen, there was a second male centaur rushed in and interrupted the next move. All of a sudden, it went straight from rape to fighting to death between two male……though I got a feeling no matter who won the fight, it wouldn’t make much difference to the girl centaur.

The two male centaurs bit and kick and butt against each other; as if smelled the masculine scent they emit, more and more centaurs gathered beneath us to join the crazy occasion. Blood split, sometimes even limbs scattered. If we fell from the tree, we would probably be ruptured at once.

“They are……” Achilles frowned: “They are so ugly.”

The comment coming from this godly beautiful kid would most likely petrified any human’s ego; but I doubted the crazy centaurs below would care the least.

“I think,” I said in realization: “This is why Chiron forbad us to travel at night.”

The sun went down, and the moon rose. The terrible massacre had finally subsided. The remaining centaurs begin to mate or rave; even those females who appeared to be reluctant now seemed to enjoy the conquering. 

In the mountain again retained its serene, peaceful image, like the orgy had never happened.

When we got the other side of the mountain, it was already passed noon. And what we saw was truly beyond our expectance. It was like having another world separated by a layer of rock. While what we had seen yesterday was a shadowy primitive forest, here was a rural image of garden and pasture. Numerous kinds of plants thrived on the plain, and many of them were riddled with fruits or flowers.

“This is beautiful!” I muttered. “It is said Chiron is excelled in medicine as well; this must be where he grew the herbs.”

And then I notice the fragrance in the air, and found the most amazing part of the scenery: the small river ran through it was made of wine!

“How can it be?” Achilles cocked his head.

“I don’t know. The legend said the god of wine, Dionysus. I think it’s probably a gift from him.” I grinned. “But that is not the first thing that came to my mind.“

I was desperate to know how this magic wine would taste like. I kneeled down and scooped a handful of wine near my mouth. I was temporarily reminded of Chiron’s rule about doing no harm to the mountain, but again this was a river ran through the mountain; surly drinking from a river couldn’t be counted as harming?

Just as my lips were about to touch the wine, Achilles yelled: “Patroclus!”

I dropped the wine at once, but it was a step too late. A thick vine which had been rested peacefully aside now thrust toward me like a snake, and I realized too late it must be Chiron’s way to fend off other centaurs. 

Achilles was already drew his sword to strike the vine; as I promptly drew my sword to help Achilles, I suddenly remember the rule again.

“Achilles! You can’t hurt it!” I reminded him: ”Just run!”

Tthe vine stoke again. This time, it wrapped itself around Achilles’ heel, who was frozen on the spot. 

I was chilled all over as I sensed what was about to happened.

“Achilles, wait! Just let me……” 

But Achilles had already swung the sword. Achilles was so quick and accurate that neither I nor the vine had ever stood a chance to stop him.

Achilles cut the end of the vine, making the remaining of it recoiled at once, but he did not stop. He cut the vine from its root, but still he didn’t stop. 

Achilles’ sword went all the way to its giant stem of the vine, and penetrated it with a swift thrust.

It was over within a few breathe. Achilles’ sword was stained with thick, sticky, blood-like juice which gradually gathered in the tip of his sword like tears.

“Who are you here to destroy my plant?” A voice suddenly came from behind. 

We both turned at once. It was a male centaur, but somehow very different with those we had been seeing all night. I knew this had to be Chiron himself.

He was about forty years old in look, dressed in neat black robe, long brown hair tight into a bundle at the back of his head. He had a look of a scholar or courtier, and yet his face was grim with anger.

“We are King Peleus’ son and his guest.” I said when Achilles failed to answer: “He is prince Achilles. We came here in hope that you would train us to become great warriors”

Chiron scanned us both and said: “You hope me to train you?”

“Yes.” Achilles managed to say: “My father said you had saved his life once when he was young.”

Chiron’s eyes narrowed: “The person who is being saved is obliged to his savior, not the other way around.”

Achilles flushed, his right hand, which was still holding the stained sword, trembled slightly.

“My rules here should be easy to follow, and yet you have to break them even before we met.” 

“I……” Achilles stuttered uncharacteristically.

“I hate those who tramp on rules. And for that, I should ask you to leave.”

“And what’s your name?” Chiron turned to me.

“Patroclus, son of Meneatius.”

“Patroclus.” The centaur nodded: “You have done nothing to offend me; I should let you have a chance to display your skill and then decided if I shall take you in.”

Achilles didn’t say a thing; he just stood there, almost helplessly.

“No.” the word went out itself before I could think more carefully..

“No?” Chiron raised an eyebrow.

“Please forgive Achilles!” I yelled: “I am the one who drank the wine and triggered the attack, Achilles was only protecting me!”

Chiron frowned at me.

“You’ll be a fool if you choose me over Achilles; he is said will one day be greater than the mighty Heracles!”

Achilles blushed again when Chiron glanced at him suspiciously. Then I knew, even though Achilles did not speak much these days, he had been hopping so vehemently to learn from Chiron.

“I have heard the rumor,” Chiron murmured: “Even though I travel less now.”

“Yes, he is……”

“But I have given my word, and the rule breaker should not have no punishments.”

“Then let me take the blame!” I blurted out: “I am the one who drank the wine in the first place!”

Chiron narrowed his eyes again. “You would do that for him?”

“Yes!” I almost shouted the word out; my hands curled in to fists like I was ready to fight.

Yes! For Achilles I could do this and more. 

“No! Patroclus!” Achilles watched me with horror.

“I can accept that.” Chiron said thoughtfully, ignoring Achilles’ protest completely: “The truth is, I don’t have that much time for two students at once.”

“But we won’t take you much time! We have already learned the basic, and……” Achilles babbled. When he found out Chiron didn’t seem to listen to him, he turned to me again.

“But don’t you say we ought to become warriors together?” Achilles looked like he wanted to grab my hand.

Such childish words. 

I took a deep breath and forced myself to speak: “That’s your dream, Achilles. Never mine.”

Achilles took a step back. There was something broken in those green eyes.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be waiting for you when you complete your training.” I tried to smile. 

“Farewell, Achilles.” I said and quickly turned to walk away.

“Patroclus!” Achilles yelled at my back.

And I heard Chiron’s poised voice.

“I don’t have time for this melodrama. Achilles, come with me.” 

 

After I went back to the palace, I told king Peleus Chiron had taken in Achilles, but declared he had no time to spare on me. 

“Kid, I’m sorry.” The king said.

“It is not your fault. Achilles and you had done enough for me.”

“Now go see your father. He was at the harbor preparing your ship. I told him he can live here as long as he likes, but he said he is a sailor in nature.”

When I got to the harbor, my father was standing beside the ship. He saw me and walked toward me.

“I have made her ready. I knew from the start this wouldn’t work, but I still had to watch you tried and fail. Go get your things ready.”

I nodded. But I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to separate with Achilles. And now that we were on the run again, we couldn’t let anyone knew where we were going. If so, how could Achilles find me after he finishes his training? Will he think I was lying to him when I said I would wait for him? 

Suddenly, I felt a warmth hand landed on my shoulder. It’s my father’s hand. He had not done that even when I was upset and having nightmare about the man I killed.

It’s then I knew that I was crying like a little child.


	10. Achilles

Achilles opened his eyes to an unfamiliar room.

It took him some time to remember he was to Chiron’s house. 

It had been three days since he got here. He was deliberately not speaking to Chiron except necessity, but Chiron didn’t seem to care the least. 

The sky was still a shade of gray, but he got up and started to prepare for the training. 

After Patroclus left, Chiron told him: “If you care your friend that much, you should cherish more the chance he gave to you.”

He didn’t need to be reminded twice. 

After Chiron tested his combat skill for the first time, he gave an ambiguous comment: “The rumor is not unfounded, I’ll give you that. But you need more than inherit strength to emulate Heracles. You know what motivated Hercules to become the great hero?”

Achilles shook his head.

“To redeem his atrocity of killing his wife and child, though he did it under the control of insanity.” Chiron said. “What’s your motivation, Achilles? Consider it and tell me two days later.”

And that should be today.

As he stepped outside, Chiron had already there, tending his herbs.

“You get up early.” Chiron commented while bowed down to pick up some withered leaves.

“I am to die young.”

That got Chiron straightened up, and frowned at him: “What?”

“I am to die young. My mother told me that.”

“And you want me to help avoiding that?” Chiron cocked his head.

“Mother said no one can.”

“That is correct. So why do you tell me that?”

“You asked me.”

Chiron didn’t seem to get it at first, but he narrowed his eyes as he realized it: “That’s your motivation?”

Achilles nodded.

Chiron seemed to consider this. 

“Very well. That’s as strong as I ever heard of.” Chiron said in wonder. He seemed to be pleased by the answer: “Now get inside and finish your breakfast.”

“I am ready for the training.”

Chiron eyed him askew: “You don’t grow muscles by breathing. You eat when I told you to; or are you unsatisfied by the food I prepared you, prince Achilles?”

Achilles shook his head. That made no difference to him. But he didn’t tell Chiron that.

As they ate, Achilles finally asked: “Why do you live with other centaurs?”

Chiron glanced at him: “You gave up your no speaking game?”

Achilles blushed a little. 

“Apollo put me here.”

“Apollo?”

“He is my foster father, you may say,” Chiron said and then changed his voice a pitch higher:” Poor monster sired by the evil titan, let’s take care of him. Just like that. ”

“You don’t like him.” Achilles noted.

“None of your business. But yes, I don’t like him. I was like a toy to him and Artemis. When they got bored of me, they simply kicked me out of Olympus. I’d almost gone insane when I first got here.”

Achilles didn’t have a say to that. 

“What do you think of me and the other centaurs?” Chiron suddenly asked.

Achilles thought about it.

“It’s like human and monkey. Very alike in some part, but not equal.”

Chiron snorted: “That’s an insult to monkeys. But nonetheless, a creative answer.”

Clearly, Chiron did not think of him as being capable of creative. 

“They are all savages. That’s why I did what I could to prevent them from coming here.”

Such as the strange vines, Achilles added inside.

“Maybe it’s fortunate that they are all carnivorous. Or there wouldn’t be a leaf left in this mountain by now.” Chiron said.

“I wouldn’t be too surprise if you told me they eat each other.” Achilles thought about what he saw in the forest.

“Only some of them do.” Chiron said. He didn’t seem to be joking.

 

Although rejecting him at first, once Chiron decided to train Achilles, he gave his whole spirits.

After the first few times, Chiron did not waste too much time on the basic. More often, he taught Achilles through practical sparring. 

At the first few months, he was at completely disadvantage. But he advanced fast. Soon Chiron would have to spend more than a morning to be able to take him down. Also, because they both were stubborn, they often end up exhausted all over. Which was probably a good thing, since Achilles often got so hungry that Chiron would have no need to make him eat anymore.

Then, shortly after he turned twelve, he defeated Chiron for the first time. His sword wounded Chiron’s shin and made him tumbled.

“I’m getting old.” Chiron said after he got up.

“Aren’t you immortal?” Achilles chocked his head.

Chiron smiled wryly: “You really don’t spare me a bit, do you?”

But he didn’t seem displeased.

After Achilles had come to the mountain for a whole year (which he had to remember after Chiron’s reminding), Chiron gave him a small cloth made of goat skin.

“What’ this?” Achilles asked.

“It’s a cushion.”

“Cushion for wh……” then he understood. It’s a cushion for his heel. He had told Chiron that early when he got here.

“It had been soaked in a special herbal juice. It’s not impervious, of course. But at least you won’t die because of trending on a nail or something stupid as that.”

And it gave Achilles a lump in his throat he couldn’t tell why.

 

Chiron’s house had a spare room, so Achilles was slept separately from Chiron. Achilles used to think who had been lying on his bed, but now he didn’t think of that anymore. 

Why should it matter? Whoever had slept on it, he would soon emulate him. Achilles was more and more sure about that. 

One night, Achilles woke at night, and heard moaning coming from Chiron’s room.

He approached Chiron’s room cautiously. The sound was fraught with pain.

“Chiron?” he asked. “Are you sick?”

“Go away!” Chiron shouted from inside.

Achilles frowned in confusion. Then, he suddenly remembered the rumor: Chiron had been hurt by a poisoned arrow, and still suffered from it. It was much later that he learned from Chiron the episodic pain always came at night, and when it did, Chiron always praised for Apollo to take away his immortality.

Achilles bowed his fists at the realization. He wanted to do something. But if Chiron couldn’t cure himself, surely there’s nothing he could do. But……

Achilles fetched his lyre, and sat in front of Chiron’s room. 

When he was a small kid, a woman in white appeared from nowhere as he played lyre. 

Thanks for your treat. That was a beautiful song. She said.

But I’m not playing for you. I played for no one.

What a pity. But I had been pleased by your song, so I’m going to give you a gift. I’ll endow your song with soothing power. Poor kid, I cannot help you escape the fate; I can only hope that music can provide you reprieves. 

Achilles asked her who she was, and the woman told him her name is Muse.

And so, Achilles began his song.

It had been a long time since he last played the lyre. Last time, he had been playing it for Patroclus.

He played it for a long time. His tone was never happy……sometimes he thought he didn’t understand what happiness was. But now, as he looked back, it was beset in the days with Patroclus like small jewels. 

So he played on, thinking about Patroclus while hoping Chiron’s pain would be over soon.

The other morning, Chiron did not say anything at first. They ate dinner in silence.

“That was a beautiful song.” Chiron said.

“Thank you.” 

“No,” Chiron took a deep breath: “thank you.”


	11. Achilles

Two years had passed since Achilles lived with Chiron. Achilles was thirteen now.

As he and Chiron grew closer, he finally knew the real reason of why Chiron had rejected him at first. 

“As I told you, I had prayed endlessly for Apollo to take away my immortality, but my beautiful, glistening foster parents never bother to answer my pray.”

“What does that has to do with me?” Achilles frowned.

“Because you looked like that kind of people.”

“I am not.”

“I know that now.” Chiron gave a faint smile.

“Do you……” Achilles hesitated. “Do you still want to die?”

Chiron closed his eyes for a while. “Right now? No. Now I want to eat some fresh fruits and sleep to my heart's content. But……but I know the idea will come back with the pain.”

Achilles considered this. “Maybe the pain will end. Like some wounds heal themselves.”

Chiron just shook his head. “No, if you wait long enough, the pain will come eventually.”

Achilles was confused, but he didn’t ask more. Chiron always said he wanted him to look for the answers himself.

 

Other than sword, Chiron also taught Achilles spear, arrow, and some basic medicine. Sometimes he would take Achilles to the forest, and teach him how to identify certain plants that could save live. 

“Imagine your friend dying in the battle field. Wouldn’t you regret if you couldn’t help him?” Chiron said.

“I wouldn’t let Patroclus die.”

Chiron eyed him curiously: “But every human dies.”

“But I shall die young, and he would outlive me by many, many years.” He said stubbornly. He would accept no other situations. 

He thought Chiron would laugh at him. But Chiron didn’t.

As they walked through a forest, Chiron suddenly sighed.

“What?” Achilles turned to him.

“I used to see tree nymphs when I passed this forest. But it was a long time ago.” Chiron’s eyes had gone soft. They seemed to focus on something that Achilles couldn’t see.

“Tree nymph?”

“Just like your mother is a sea nymph, really old forest resided with tree nymphs.” Chiron said: “They are much smaller ones; not as beautiful as sea nymphs, but sweeter. And their sounds are more pleasant, like tiny bells.”

“Why are they gone?” Achilles asked.

“They are not ‘gone’. They are faded.”

“Faded?”

“It’s hard to explain.” Chiron thought about it for a while. “Imagine there’s two worlds overlapping, one it the world you live, and one is the world of gods. What will happen when the two worlds separate?”

Achilles cocked his head. “The gods and men will be separated.”

“And what will happen when men look at the gods?”

“The Gods will look……faint.” Achilles took a deep breath.

“Yes, that’s the basic concept. But the more powerful ones are not easily affected.” Chiron said. 

“What will happen to the gods when they fade?” Achilles asked.

“They lose their power gradually; some even lose their conscious and become no more than shadows.”

“Will my mother fade one day?” Achilles asked.

“Yes, I’m sorry. But you are not likely to live long enough to see it happen.”

Achilles swallowed secretly. “Why is this happening?”

“It’s just a process. Humans become vain after their civilization developed, and they stop to believe in gods, and the two worlds begin to separate.”

Chiron lifted up his head to look at the sky and said: “The final war shall come soon.”

“Final war?” Achilles’ eyes widened. “Which states? Will Phthia be involved?”

“I don’t know. I just know it would be a long and terrible war, in which gods would fight in the shadow to help those they love.”

“Why would they want to do that?”

“To create heroes. Because even when Gods fade, heroes will last in memory. And as people remember them, the god could live under their names too.”

“Heroes……” Achilles murmured. “The final war……”

“Yes, the final war.” Chiron said. “And after that, the age of heroes shall be closed. Forever.”

“The age……of heroes……” Achilles murmured into the cold air of mountain top. It seemed echoing itself, and haunting him long after he had passed the forest.


	12. Patroclus

Our ship sailed into the harbor sometime between dusk and night. When we walked into the inn, it was the high time for dinner.

“I could really use a good sleep…...my back ached for weeks from sleeping on the damp board.” Lysander said. Lysander was only sixteen years old, still unfamiliar with live on the sea, and often came out a little shy and……whiny.

Sixteen, that was the same year with Achilles. But I was pretty sure Achilles wouldn’t be like this. He would be like……I tried to think, but it seemed so hard to imagine. When I left him with Chiron, he was only eleven years old.

Achilles. I thought of Achilles often, but I had long accepted the fact that we might never see each other again.

I had once told Lysander I knew someone of his age. When he asked who he was, I told him he was a prince, and Lysander just went haha and walked away.

“God I miss the land,” Nedar, an old sailor said as he sat at the table. “And the solid ground; and food that didn’t stink.”

“You forget to mention the women.” Lysander teased.

“You make fun of us now because you are only a boy with a dick like an eel.” Nedar said.

Lysander blushed. He just joined us for a couple of months, and was the youngest among us. We were all a little doted on him, though some of the old sailor just couldn’t control their foul mouths. I could see he wanted to protest, but was having trouble to think of something smart and poignant to say.

“Just wait kid. One day you’ll know how it feels……it’s like an itch at your groin that you couldn’t scratch!”

I raised the cup to hide my smile----you have to smile at these shameless old jokes-----and suddenly I noticed a girl was ogling at me from the counter. I gave her a smile.

Lysander protested: “That’s not true! Not everyone is like you! Patroclus is already twenty and he is not like that……why are you smiling like that, Patroclus?”

“Uh……nothing.” I shrugged.

 

 

After a long tiresome long journey, I was expecting a sound and sweet sleep. But it didn’t come.

“Are you asleep?” A voice came from outside. It’s a girl’s voice.

“No.”

“Can I come in?” 

I thought about it but eventually said: “Sure.”

And the girl slipped into the room nimbly like……god, why on earth did I think of eel at this moment?

The girl was about my age or a little older, petite and dark haired. She smiled at me impishly; her gaze was deliberately seductive, but there was still shyness underneath. And I kind of like that.

“Can I come in?” she asked again, this time pointing at my quilt.

Afterward, she lay on the crook of my arm, looked at me with wide eyes. She was daughter of the owner of the inn; her name was Demetrius.

“I don’t do this often.” She said. At first, it struck me quite strange why all girls like to claim this afterward, but I knew by now that this simple sentence was of great importance to them.

“I know.” I smiled and kissed her forehead. She smelled like lamp oil.

“Why do you choose me?” I asked. “You are a pretty girl; if you want, any man of our crew would be glad to have you.”

She giggled like a little girl.

“You are cute,” she looked up at me: “Not particularly handsome; but you get really blue and really pretty eyes.”

“I’m flattered you think so.”

“Besides……” she seemed to hesitate.

“What? I won’t be offended, I promise.”

“I have a sister two years older than me.”

“Uh.” I nodded in realization: “You two made some……agreements, I suppose?”

Chances were, I was her second choice; second to the one who her sister now was sleeping with.

“You are not offended?”

“No.” I said. It’s not like I was going to marry her or something.

“May I ask who the other lucky man is?”

“The boy.”

“Lysander?” I sat partly up on the bed. “He was only sixteen!”

“Many man had their first woman at thirteen or fourteen.”

“I know that, but……it feels strange……”

“I see you are playing his big brother.” 

“Perhaps.” I sighed. Just because I had never lain with a woman before eighteen, didn’t mean everyone should.

“May I ask where you are going to?” she asked, and then soon added: “I promise I won’t try to make you stay here!”

“I’m sure you won’t drug me or tie me on the bed.“ I teased.

“So, where?”

“Thessaly. We are supposed to drop some food there in exchange for……”

“Good lord! That’s good news for them! You are so very kind!”

I was surprised by her reaction. Seeing my face, she added: “You don’t know then? There’s a draught in Thessaly before long, many were dead because of it.”

“That’s terrible.” I frowned.

“Worst of all, their king thought it would be a good idea to rub some food from other country.”

War. I thought.

“He did not succeed?”

“Because another king came for the help. The army had been defeated on the foreign land, and it is said the united army would march to Thessaly in no time.”

“That’s……” I almost stuttered: “I had to tell my father that!”

I jumped from the bed, almost tumbled in the process. 

“Wait! Your clothes!” 

“Yeah, right.” I was pretty sure I blushed. Must be quite a scene if I rush out naked.

“Can you tell me your name?”

I hesitated. My father had almost told me not to let strangers know my name. Las might still be looking for us. 

But she looked hurt by my silence, and I was pretty sure she was not sent by Las.

“Patroclus.” I finally told her. “My name is Patroclus.”

 

 

The news I brought caused a not so small argument. 

Many thought this was a good news, since we could strike a good deal in this situation, among whom Nedar was the most eager; but some thought this was too dangerous, for we could be swallowed alive if the united army marched Thessaly while we were there. And my father belonged to the latter. 

Lysander and I both stood outside the argument; I wanted to ask what happened last night, but since he had been blushed for a whole morning, it might not be a good idea.

Sixteen! I thought. What if the girl got pregnant? Then I suddenly thought of another sixteen year old boy. Did Achilles ever…….

“God…… I respect your father, but he is getting annoying these days!” Nedar mumbled as he walked toward us.

“Look at the bright side! At least he is not your father.” I joked.

“Patroclus, what do you think? Don’t tell me those ‘I’m still inexperienced’ bullshit. You are a sailor as much as I am. Now speak what’s on your mind!” Nedar demanded.

I pretended to be embarrassed. 

I knew it would come to this sooner or later, and I had been thinking about my answer ever since I had heard the news.

It’s not just about profit. Like the girl said, people of Thessaly could use this food we were carrying.

“I think it is worth the risk.” I said carefully: “But it had to be cautiously approached.”

“Good lad.” Nedar grinned. “Now go talk to your father.”

Nedar looked like he was expecting a bull fight.

 

 

My father was stubborn as rock, but now was him against all the crew including his son. 

“You were just babbling about the profit we would make, but what about the actual plan?” father demanded.

“Exchange the food for gold or silver and leave as soon as we can? Does this sound like a plan?” I asked, and earned myself a mean look from my father.

Mean while, Cleos, the sailor we sent to fish more information had come back at this moment.

“What do you find out?”

“The troop of Thessaly had left about three months ago.”

“Which state did they attack?” My father asked.

“Phthia.”

“What?” I almost fell from the chair I was sitting on. “Phthia?”

I had never thought about this……it was Achilles’ homeland that had been attacked!

“It makes sense. Phthia was at the south of Thessaly, and King Peleus was said to be sick for years. ” Father remarked. “That makes phthia seem vulnerable to its predators.”

I wasn’t listening very carefully about what my father said. I was too absorbed about the information I had just received.

“Patroclus!” 

I was shocked out of my thought by my father’s voice.

“Yes?”

“What do you say? Do you still want to go to Thessaly?” Father’s eyes were keen on me.

“Yes.” I answered.


	13. Patroclus

We finally decided that we would send some people there to excavate the situation, which was Nedar, Lysander and I. Father was reluctant about my volunteering, but I was the best fighter we got. Besides, this was part my doing, I had the responsibility to keep them save. 

And there was perhaps a reason I didn’t admit.

We stopped our ship a few miles away from the beach of Thessaly, and went there on foot. 

What we saw there was even bleaker than we expected. We walked from dust till noon but didn’t meet anyone. The fields were bald and full of weed; whether it’s because the draught or lack of care I couldn’t tell. 

“It looked like it’s been cursed!” Nedar mumbled. 

“Don’t be so sulky,” I tried to joke: “You seemed like my father when you did that.”

We knocked on several doors on the way, but none answered. I didn’t know whether it was because the residents had left to avoid the coming war or they just refused to open the door for fearing we might be the first to invade. 

“At least there’re no signs of invasion.” I said. 

“Hey! What is that?” Lysander exclaimed. 

I followed his gaze, and saw there was a statue erected on the center of Thessaly. It was a giant statue, depicting a beautiful goddess with a wreath on her head---- Demeter the goddess of grain I guessed----and it’s glistering in the bright sunlight.

In contrast to the rest of the land, it felt sadly ridiculous.

“That cannot be real gold……or can it? ” Lysander asked.

“I don’t think so. Even if it’s gold, it won’t do them any good now.” I said.

“Maybe we should just……”

Lysander was cut off in middle, because Nedar suddenly pointed forward and exclaimed: “Look, there’s a child!”

It was a little girl about seven or eight; she was thin, but otherwise in a good shape. 

Just then, the girl turned and noticed us. She was frozen at once; her eyes widened like deer spots a hunter. 

“Don’t be afraid, we……” I tried to comfort her. 

Before I could finish it, the girl ran.

“What do we do now?” Lysander asked.

“I think we should follow her, secretly of course.” I suggested. “She couldn’t be alone. We should get someone to listen to us first.”

We followed the girl from a distance. To our surprise, the girl led us to a luxurious mansion on a small hill. The girl yelled something at the door. The door opened, revealing a man dressed in black robe. The man shoved the girl inside, and scanned around in alarm. 

We three exchanged a glance. 

“I’ll go first,” I told them.

“Wait!” I yelled as the man was about to close the door. The man stopped, but his posture was hostile. To my relief and surprise, he did not close the door immediately.

As I ran near, I found he was a young man about thirty years old. He was tall and well built too. A question momentarily crossed my mind: why wasn’t he in the army? 

But I didn’t dwell on it. I need to get someone, anyone to listen to me first.

“Please! Listen to me!” I yelled.

“Who are you?” The man asked. He was still alarming; his hand never left the door.

“A sailor.” I explained: “We get lot of food on our ship; and I just receive the news that Thessaly might need our……”

“So you are here to make a fortune out of our misery.” The man said coldly. But his gesture relieved a little.

“No……I mean yes, we are merchants; we don’t sail around Greek allotting food. But I was thinking maybe we can strike some mutual benefits.”

“Those are just pretty words. We don’t need you.” The man said. He was clearly jaded from what he had been through lately.

I was a little angry now: “We are risking our live by coming here. And what you just said strikes me as very selfish; since you are better off than most of people in Thessaly. ”

The man hesitated.

“Do you have anything to prove your identity?” He asked.

“I brought some food.” I show him the packet I brought with me. 

“Let me see what’s inside.” He demanded.

I moved toward the door, and let him see it.

“All right, you……”

Before the man could finish his words, a voice came from inside the house. I craned out of curiosity……which proved to be very trouble-causing. 

There were three men coming from the room, each in a posture of battle. One of them asked: “Stelios, are you in trouble?”

The man celled Stelios sighed with irritation: “Damn you! Ephialtes! I told you to stay inside no matter what happen!”

“But……” the man called Ephialtes tried to protest. 

I realize a bit too late what the situation was, and even when I understood I failed to react quickly.

“Wait! I’m not telling……” 

I didn’t finish my words. The man knocked me hard at the back of my head.

 

 

When I came to, I was inside the building and all tied up. The girl was sitting next to me, eating some of the food I brought.

At least I helped them, I tried to comfort myself. It didn’t work very well.

“Thelia, get away from there!” The man name Stalios walked in and chased the girl off. 

“Are you awake?” he asked me.

“……sort of.” I was still angry, but it’s no good to show it right now. I blamed Lysander and Nedar for leaving me here too, but I wasn’t really surprised.

“I……we don’t mean you harm.” He said rather awkwardly.

“What do you plan to do with me?”

“We won’t hurt you. But I couldn’t let you go just now.” 

“That’s very relieving,“ I pointed out sarcastically: “Since there’s an army marching here.”

Stalios did not answer.

“What’s happening here? In this mansion?” I kind of guessed what might be going on here, but I still wanted to hear a more accurate version.

“Didn’t you guess it already? Before, when you said you won’t tell……” 

“Are you…… deserters?”

“No,” Stalios grimaced: “We are survivors of the war.”

Which didn’t make much different now, I thought, or they wouldn’t be hiding here, from their own people.

Stalios might have sensed my though. He sighed heavily and sat beside me.

“We were the ones who insisted on going to war. But we not only lost the war; we let our king got captured…… and now we even brought the army home. If we walk on street now, we might not come out in one piece……” he lowered his head in dismay.

I still didn’t quite get over the fact that this man attacked Achilles’ homeland, but it might not be wise to mention it right now.

“How many of you?”

“About twenty. There are more originally, but some of them ran away after hearing the news that Phthia is coming after us.”

“This is your house?” I asked.

Stalios nodded.

“Then you must be a great worrier.”

“The best of Thessaly…… they used to call me.”

That sounded like bragging, but he said it rather devastatingly. He must have been through a lot in Phthia, I thought. He wanted to solve the problem the quick way, and came back a broken man.

“That guy is a devil……and they said this is his first battle……”

First battle? My heart raced immediately. Was he talking about Achilles? Had him been back to Phthia already?

“Who are you talking about?”

“A young commander of Phthia.”

“Is he tall or thin or……” I almost chocked on my own words. I could hardly contain my excitement……and perhaps a little sadness for the years we had lost.

“He was quite lanky, sort of like you……why are you flushing?”

“Nothing. What are you planning to do? If you had already gotten here, the combined army won’t be too far away.”

“I don’t know.” Stalios shook his head.

“Do you want me to fetch you some food to eat?” he suddenly asked.

“You mean the food I brought?”

Stalios looked embarrassed, but he did not apologize. Typical worrier like my father. I actually didn’t hate this guy.

“Sleep. You never know when you’ll need your strength.” Stalios said. 

And at that, he stood up and walked away.

 

 

The next morning, I awoke in chaos of a house. Woman weeping, children crying, men pacing……it sounded like everybody was out there making some noise.

I saw the man named Ephialtes was sitting not far from me, so I turned to him and asked: “What happened?”

Ephialtes turned to me, his eyes dull and lifeless: “We saw the ship coming.”

“Where is Stalios? Aren’t he supposed to do something?”

“Stalios……” Ephialtes made a chocking sound: “Stalios was gone.”

“Gone?” I was startled. How could he be gone at this moment? “How did that happened? Did he……”

“I don’t know!” Ephialtes snapped: “I told him I saw the ships and then he told me to call on everybody. When I was back, he was gone!”

I sighed inwardly. It was by no means something unheard of, but I guess it hurt nonetheless.

“I……king Peleus is a kind man, or so I had heard. I think……maybe you can make a pack that……” I tried stupidly to comfort him.

“But this is not something Peleus can decide. He has allied himself with Mycenae. When you ally with a bigger state, you don’t get a say of what they’re going to do unless they asked you to!”

And who forced Peleus to ally with Mycenae in the first place? But of course I swallowed it down.

“I remember king of Mycenae is Agamemnon.”

“Yes. And Agamemnon is anything but kind!” he whined.

I let him whine some more before I made my quest.

“Could you let go of me now? It’s not like I can cause more damage here.”

Ephialtes hesitated for a moment but finally untied me.

I rubbed my wrest while thinking about my situation. Maybe I should run for all I was worth to get to the ship. Father must be worried about me now. This was not my battle.

“I will stay with you.” I told Ephialtes.

“Why?” Ephialtes was clearly shocked. 

I just shrugged.

“I want to go higher to see the enemy ships.” I told him.

“You are a soldier?” 

“I told you I am a sailor. But I received some military training when I was very young.”

“From where?”

That was a question I knew I couldn’t answer.

“We got a tower here. That’s why we know the ship was approaching.”

“Take me there.”

Ephialtes looked at me suspiciously: “You looked like another person today.”

“Must be the light.”

Maybe it’s because of my attitude, Ephialtes volunteered to take me to the tower. It’s not far from the mansion. I guessed it made sense, since Stalios was “Best of Thessaly.”

I was more surprised that no one was here.

“How long have you become a soldier?” I asked Ephialtes while we climbed.

“Three and half months.”

That meant he was recruited for this recent war only. I wanted to ask what he was before joining the army, but I didn’t think he was in a mood to talk about that.

When we got to the top, Ephialtes stepped forward nervously.

“They are already landed.” Ephialtes said nervously. “They……they are making camp on the beach!”

“Then they probably won’t attack soon.” I said. I wanted to have eyes of eagle, so that I could see if Achilles was among them. 

“We should take turn watching the beach.” I told him.

“Who are you really?” he frowned.

“A sailor.”

 

 

I had brought plenty of food here, so we ate a luxurious breakfast. Everybody ate like crazy, like they might not have chance to eat again.

“We should never go to war.” Ephialtes wept while eating.

We sat there in uncomfortable silence, until Dilios, another young soldier who was watching on the tower, ran and yelled toward us.

“They are coming! They’ll be on the street in no time!”

“Don’t be panic! They won’t know we were hiding here.” Another soldier said. “Just go back watching!” 

“We should just leave!” Yet another soldier said.

“With women and children we won’t get too far!”

“Who says we’ll bring them? Stelio had abandoned us; why should we take care of his family?”

Their argument seemed cold to me, but I couldn’t blame them; they had been betrayed by the one who were supposed to protect them…….it was even worse than being hurt by someone who had no connection to them.

Just as they are arguing, Dilios came inside again, yelling: “They are marching toward us!“

“What? How can that be?” Ephialtes was pale as a sheep.

“They got Pilios!” Dilios said. “They must get their information from him.”

“That fool! As if he hadn’t done enough damage by deserting! ” 

I supposed this Pilios was one of those soldiers left few days ago; It’s ironic, considering he had become the first to be captured. 

“Now what can we do? It’s too late to escape!” someone yelled. “We should just leave and let the women fend for themselves! It’s unlikely they would get killed!”

“But they will become slaves or worse!” I protested. 

“Arrow!” Ephialtes exclaimed. “That’s it! We shoot them from the balcony!”

“No!” I shouted despite myself.

“What?” Ephialtes stared at me.

“You can’t shoot him!”

“Him? Who are you talking about?” Ephialtes’s face became livid with anger: “No, that’s the wrong question……Let me asked again: Who. Are. You?”

“That’s right, why are you here? Are you spying on us?” Dilios agreed.

“Do you have amnesia?” I said incredulously: “I was captured by you!”

“Don’t listen to him. Just go get the bow and arrow!” Ephialtes ordered; somehow making me his imagined enemy seemed to give him a new strength.

“No!” I tried to stop them, but Ephialtes and few others had already gone. I was surrounded by the remains of the soldiers; my vision was blocked. But I couldn’t let it happen. 

I did a fake attack, and grabbed one of the soldiers’ sword. With a sword in hand, I could almost feel power growing in me. 

“Don’t push me any further! I have military training more than all of you combine!” I growled out every word.

Some of them still tried to stop me, but I could take down a novice or two easily. Then I ran all the way out of the house; I ran with all I was worth. 

I had to warn Achilles! I had to keep that kid safe; I had to protect him, even though he might be a hundred times more stronger than me now……

But just as I ran out of the door, I saw an arrow straightly shot into the worrier leading the troop. 

The worrier fell from his horse and lay still. My breath was caught at the sight.

“No!!” I ran to the fallen worrier and kneeled beside him: “Don’t die! Don’t……”

I was too overwhelmed to talk. 

But he did not die; the arrow just penetrated his shoulder. I found out this along with the fact that he was not Achilles after all. He was one of the noblemen’s sons who used to attend the drill with us.

“Owen?” I blurted out.

“Who are you?” The young man grimaced at the pain. “How do you know my name?”

“I am Patroclus, remember me?”

“Patroclus.” He repeated, but he looked dazed. 

“Where is Achilles?”

“Back on the camp. He said he won’t follow Agamemnon’s order……”

I didn’t let him finish. I just stood up and ran toward the beach.

“Hey! You just leave me here?” Owen yelled from behind.

But I did not stop.


	14. Achilles

“Achilles!”

“Achilles!”

“Achilles!”

The shout echoed at the beach of Thessaly, again and again, to the degree of annoying. It stopped for a while than rose again, along with several soldiers shouting and cursing.

Achilles decided he had it enough.

“Who is that?” he went out of the tent, and saw a group of soldiers surrounding a man. 

“Who is that?” he asked again.

The man himself shouted the answer out: “I am Stelios, commander of Thessaly!”

Achilles frowned. He remembered that name, but the rest was all blur. Clearly, this man did not fight well enough to leave a strong impression.

“And why are you here?” He asked, his all gesture spoke nonchalance. 

“I am here to ask for a duel with you!”

“Duel?” he was bored already. “On what?”

“On my name. The best of Thessaly! That should be a fine Kleos(honor)!”

No, not good enough, Achilles thought. But he started up late, and it’s typical for a worrier to accumulate Kleos by trampling on others’.

“For what?” he cocked his head, looking down upon the man.

“For the lives of Thessaly!”

The simple quest irked Achilles deeply. Clearly this man considered lives of Thessaly better than lives of Phthia; and that irked him deeply and sharply. 

“Let him go.” He ordered his men coldly.

The duel opened hastily. The soldiers cleared the ground to make enough room for a fighting. 

The fight ended in seconds. Achilles dodged a blow, and his sword found its way to Stelios’ shoulder, seemingly coming from nowhere. And with a quick move, he hacked over Stelios’ right arm. 

It happened so fast that no one cheered. 

Stelios pressed at his nearly severed arm, and kneeled onto the ground. His shouting and howling came several seconds later. He might be able to keep the arm, but clearly it won’t be able to use sword again.

“Prince Achilles!” A man stepped toward Achilles: “We should cut off his head and show it to the whole Thessaly!”

“And who are you?” Achilles asked impatiently.

“He’s Agamemnon’s man.” One of his commanders reminded him. “His name is Colin.”

The man continued to say: “We should demonstrate our power and force them to submit the city!”

Stelios looked up with anger: “You want to make Thessaly your territory?”

“That’s correct. We’ll made Thessaly our land, and people of Thessaly our slaves!” Colin declared smugly.

Stelio stared at the man with fear and hatred, his whole body trembling.

Just then, there came Achilles’ clear and cold voice.

“No, we don’t want that.”

“What?” Colin turned and stared at him.

“I said I don’t want to take over Thessaly.”

“Why? We have victory in our hand; all we have to do is take it!”

“Then it will belong to Mycenae, not Phthia, according to the pact your king and my father made. But the same pact also says we will split the gold we plunder; so I would rather let them ransom their city.”

There was thick silence hung everywhere in the air; suddenly all including Achilles’ own men gaped at him speechlessly.

“How dare you……” Colin’s voice came out strangled: “We lent our help when you were in need……”

“And we only accepted it because I was away then.” 

“You……you really think you win this war by yourself?” Colin stuttered.

“Mostly.” Achilles said. “Or, do you think I am blind?”

“What……” Colin’s eyes bulged.

“You sent a large army to phthia, but most of them slaves instead of soldiers. Your troop dropped off from battle every chance they can, and now only one-third of men crossed the sea with us.” Achilles said coolly: “Don’t try to deny it. Your ships are all half empty.”

Colin’s expression turned from angry to terrified: “If you had noticed that, why didn’t you……”

“Why didn’t I confront you then?” Achilles narrowed his eyes.

Colin could only nod.

“Because you still held a larger army than ours at the time.”

But not now; the unspoken words hung in the air.

“You had been waiting for this moment? You……you had been planning this all along?” Colin asked with trembling voice.

Achilles ignored him. “Brought the king.”

But most of his men were still in shock. He had to ask them twice to get what he wanted.

The king of Thessaly was brought in front of Achilles, and he tossed the old king toward Stelios with single hand.

“My lord.” Stelios caught the king with his good arm.

“You have heard what I just said.” Achilles stepped forward.

“So I have. I’ll give you all the gold I can muster……” The old king said. He didn’t even look at Achilles.

“Then how much would that be?”

“I can load one of your ships with gold.” The king said.

“That’s not good enough.” Achilles cocked his head; his eyes looked upward to the statue of Demeter. “Is that made of gold?”

“It……it……” 

“I want that statue on my ship. I don’t care how you do it. Cut it in half if you have to.”

“I’ll……I’ll give it to you.” The king was panting hard, but he finally finished the sentence.

“Good.” Achilles nodded, and then he walked toward the two of his captives.

“I only need one person to carry out the deal I just made.” He said. His voice was not loud, but the king almost faint with that.

“You……you said you won’t take Thessaly……”

“I still say that. But one of you should die.”

“Why?” Stelios demanded.

Achilles stepped forward, and the two men tried their best to avoid him.

“You came to conquer my homeland, take advantage of my sickly father, and now you dare to ask me why?” Achilles stared at them. 

“But we have already……”

Achilles wouldn’t hear it, he said through gritted teeth: “Somebody has to die. Someone has to die for this! ”

“You monster……” Stelios gasped.

All of a sudden, another voice cut through the air.

“Achilles!”

Achilles frowned and turned to the source of the voice; and then, he suddenly realized what was happening here.

“Achilles!” the voice came closer now, and a young man jostled his way toward him. He was a grown man now, but the blue eyes were so clean and bright just the same the day they parted.

Achilles rushed forward to meet him; none dare to stand in his way. Achilles reached forward to tug the phantom of figure into a breathless embrace.

“Achilles……”

“Patroclus.” He tightened his arms. “Patroclus……Patroclus……”

“Yes, it’s me.” he chuckled.

“Patroclus.” Achilles said again. He had many words to say, and yet all that came out was his name.

“Patroclus……Patroclus……” He just couldn’t stop himself.

Somehow, among all the worriers and king, the most remembered name of the day belong to someone almost had nothing to do with the whole event.

Patroclus.


	15. Patroclus

When I saw Achilles for the first time in five years, I lost the ability to speak or move at once. There’s sound in my ears, it kept yelling: it’s Achilles! Achilles had grown up; Achilles was here……

And then, there were his arms. They wrapped around me, warm and tight. His voice was at my ear, calling my name; the name I didn’t know was so darling utile he called me that way. 

“Patroclus……” he called me. “Patroclus……Patroclus……”

It felt so strange. It’s like somebody snatched from me the little, skinny boy, and gave him back as a man. 

“Yes, it’s me.” I said. Then I chuckled, almost involuntarily. 

It was much later that I started to feel embarrassed about what we did in front of a whole camp of army.

Yeah, I was suddenly famous over night. I could only hope by sheer fortune my father would never know what happened here today.

When I told Achilles I had to go back to the ship, he reluctantly let go of me. 

“I’ll go there later.” He told me. I know he would. But I did not say that. 

When I was back on the ship, everybody looked like seeing a ghost back from the Hades. 

Father looked at me for quite a while, and reached out a hand to squeeze my shoulder tightly. And, before I could say anything, he let go of my shoulder and walked away.

Another sailor told me father would go search for me despite the army if not for the crew’s desperate resistance. He also told me father literally kicked Lysander and Nedar into the sea when he learned what had happened there.

Lysander and Nedar both came to apologize, but I told them I was fine now.

When I told the crew Thessaly had made a pact with Phthia, they were all shocked. 

“So, can we make deal with them or not?” one of the crew asked and earned himself a mean look from my father. 

“I think we can.” I said. “Now that there won’t be a war. But the question now would be if they could pay for the food……they have to pay Phthia a lot tribute now.”

“Golden statue……” Nedar shook his head with envy. At least he didn’t cry and say he saw that first, I thought. So far so good.

“Well……” father began to say.

Suddenly, our ship was lopsided for a moment, and then went back normal again.

“What’s that? Earth quake?” Lysander asked nervously.

“No, I think……” I was beginning to say, when Achilles showed up from behind the sail. I did not continue, because everyone of the crew had turned and gaped at him, including me. Did he just jump on our ship? That was taller than two men added together!

And there’s another reason for reaction.

Even as childhood friend, I had to admit Achilles was beautiful. He had already changed off his armor, and now was dressed in a black tunic. He was still thin for a warrior; his face still had the delicacy that only belongs to young boys. He was not completely a man yet, I thought.

“Achilles?” father stood up first. Achilles nodded in return. 

“So I heard you had just won your first battle.” Father said. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you, Menoetius.” Achilles replied with his accurate politeness, which made me think of the boy who barged into our house and asked to share dinner with us. It’s so many years ago now.

The conversation between my father and Achilles made the crew gaped some more.

“Wait, you are telling me this ki……he is a commander of Phthia?” Nedar said incredulously.

“Commander and prince, Achilles.” Father said coldly, he was still mad at Nedar.

“Menoetius had been kind to me when I was a kid.” Achilles said. He was still polite, but now there’s a hint of impatient in his voice now. 

“Prince?” Lysander’s eyes widened. He turned to me in surprise: “So you are not joking? I thought it’s only in your imagination!”

Nedar was even quicker: “Prince? So you are in charge here? Can you help us……”

“Nedar!” I shouted at Nedar and cursed inwardly.

Achilles turned to me, head cocked: “Are you in trouble?”

“No.”

“Yes, we are! Patroclus here is just being polite.” Nedar refused to back down: “Our cargo can’t last to another location, if we can’t do business with the Thessalian, we’ll lost a great deal of profit!”

“That should not be a big problem,” Achilles said calmly, almost languidly: “We’ll need time to load our gold; meanwhile, you can do business with both Phthia and Thessalian people.”

Nedar’s eyes glistered. Even I was relieved to hear this. There’re a lot of soldiers from Phthia; if we could do business with even one third of them, it would cover the prime cost.

“You can go talk to the commander of Thessaly; he should be able to summon his people.” Achilles said, and then he turned to me. But now his face was unreadable. 

I cringed inwardly. Even when we were as closed as twins, that expression of Achilles’ still unsettled me. It’s not like I believe he would attack me or something, but I just couldn’t control it. And now, with five years’ gape, it affected me even stronger. 

“How long will you stay?” Achilles asked.

“About five or six days.” I told him.

Achilles nodded. I was eager to see his face, but he was now gazing at the ground, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

“I should go now.” Achilles said, and then he just turned and left.

I stood there stupidly for a long time. Why did Achilles act so strangely? Was he displeased about who I had become? It stung, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about the expression on his face.

I didn’t know how much time had passed, eventually, father walked toward me and spoke in his rasp, low voice. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

“What?”

But father didn’t say anything more. And I was left there, feeling completely lost.


	16. Patroclus

I visited Stelios the next day as Achilles told me. I was afraid he would direct his hatred toward me, but now I saw him, I found him lifeless, seemingly too broken to even feel angry.

“I was thinking, maybe we can hold a bazaar.” I told Stelios from the start the reason I came here.

“Bazaar.” Stelios nodded, but I was not sure he was even listening.

“Your arm……is it going to be all right?” I asked him.

“No, it is not.” Stelios said, his voice lifeless: “But I guess I should be grateful to be able to keep it……or the fact that I am even alive.”

I was speechless to that. 

“But, thanks to this, the damage I had done to Thessaly seems to be forgiven now.”

“So, the bazaar……” I felt terribly awkward.

“Yes, I have heard you. You can hold it at the golden square.”

“You mean where the statue of Demeter stands?”

“Stood. She’s not there anymore.”

I didn’t know how to say about that.

“That boy……the Phthia prince, is he your friend?” Stelios suddenly said.

“Yes.” I said cautiously. I was unsure if I should even mention Achilles in front of him: “He is like my little brother.”

But I wasn’t sure what he thought of me now. I added inside. 

“He gets a lot of anger.” Stelios said.

“He……he is different from others.”

At that, Stelios fell into silence again.

 

 

The bazaar started at the second day after the peace pact was made.

The makeshift bazaar actually functioned pretty well, and the population left in Thessaly was larger than I originally thought. Some people even came to ask if they could share the square with us and sold their homemade goods. Nedar grumbled a lot, but I had no rejection to it.

The trading went smoothly; at nightfall, we had already sold out half of the things we brought. I felt tired in a content way and let my thought drifted to a nice dinner and decent sleep.

“Look there!” Lysander suddenly nudged me. I followed his gaze and found he was looking at the camp fire the troop made. We made camp fire sometimes of course, but never that big.

“It’s beautiful.” I said. And I suddenly thought of Achilles. Was he now sitting beside the fire?

“You like it?” a voice came from behind.

I was startled at the sound. It’s Achilles!

“Achilles!” 

“Why are you so surprised?” Achilles frowned. He looked displeased by my reaction.

“I……” I didn’t actually know why. I just blurt out what came first to my tongue: “Do you want to eat something?”

“No.” Achilles shook his head. He looked at me with a frown, seemingly having trouble putting something into words. Achilles leaned slightly forward, like he was about to say something. 

“Achilles……”

“Patroclus, what are you doing? I need help here!” father exclaimed.

“Sorry!” I gave Achilles a rueful smile and ran toward my father. 

To my surprise, Achilles came as well.

“Do you need my help?” Achilles asked my father.

“That would be too much for us, prince Achilles.” father said. Achilles frowned slightly, but did not say anything. 

However, as I resumed to our business, I found Achilles was still standing there. 

“Achilles?” I made a stepped forward toward him.

Achilles only shook his head. But when I turned back, Achilles suddenly leaned forward and said beside my ear.

“The lower cliff at right side of the beach.”

 

 

I had been thinking we should close the business at dinner time, but it turned out I was wrong. After the moon rise, still more people coming to the bazaar. I guessed some people just couldn’t be sure of anything until someone else tried it first. And for that, I was unable to go to the cliff right away.

Or maybe I was a little afraid. Even if I went to him, the nine year old boy won’t be there, jump at me and grin and say “You came”.

When I finally went to the cliff, the moon had already moved to the dome of the sky.

I climbed it slowly, not knowing what I should expect. As I came to the top, Achilles’ black tunic suddenly jumped into my eyes. 

Achilles was facing the sea; he didn’t turn when I walked toward him. But I knew he must know I was here now; his ears were as keen as rabbits. I had known that since a long time ago.

“Achilles?”

I heard a sigh, and felt a little unsetting inside. Was Achilles angry?

“There’s only a little left……” Achilles suddenly said.

“What?” I knew at the moment that I must have missed something, and it made me feel something not unlike panic.

“Achilles, what are you talking about?” I stepped to his side, trying to see what expression was on his face. I thought if he kept standing there, I would have to grab his shoulders and force him to face me. 

Slowly, Achilles turned to me, there was little could be called expression on his face. But in those green eyes, there’re unmistakable sorrow and loneliness.

“What? Achilles, tell me.”

“Nothing.” He smiled, but the loneliness was still there. “Just……there’s only a little camp fire left……” 

“You brought me here to watch the camp fire?” 

Achilles nodded. What a simple and innocent answer! Why did I have to think about those complicated thoughts when I could just come here and hear the answer?

“Achilles, I’m sorry……” I stepped forward. “If you want, I’ll come here to watch the fire with you every night.”

Achilles blinked.

And I went panic again. I blurted out: “I mean……I mean the days the ships were here anyway……”

I didn’t finish it. Achilles’ arms suddenly came to wrap around me, even tighter than the time we met on the beach. Last time, there was only joy and disbelief. But now, there’s more. Fear, loneliness, uncertainty……and something I didn’t even sure we had a word for them.

“Patroclus, I have missed you.” Achilles said beside my ears. He said the words as if it caused pain for him to say so.

There’s more strength coming from his arms. I felt my shoulders sore, but I didn’t really care.

“I miss you, Patroclus.”

There’re suddenly tears in my eyes.

“I miss you too, Achilles……”

 

 

I didn’t go back to the ship that night. Neither did Achilles. We stayed on the cliff, lying close to each other. 

“So, are you finished with Chiron?” I asked.

“Not yet. I left the mountain when I heard the news that Thessaly was to invade phthia.”

“So you are coming back to mountain Pelion?”

“No. Chiron asked me to finish a task. After that, the training will truly be over.”

Task? I had a feeling that wouldn’t be easy.

“Patroclus, where were you going?” Achilles asked.

“Athens.”

“What’s in Athens?”

“A lot of things. Athens is one of my favorite states.” I said: “But this time, we are going there for the feta.”

“Feta.” Achilles cocked his head: “What is feta?”

“You never eat it before?” 

Achilles shook his head.

“It’s some sort of cheese. And it……well, it’s hard to describe.”

“What does it taste like?”

“Well, it tastes good, and it was good with every food.”

“And Athens has the best feta?”

“Or so they said.” I said with a chuckle, as I suddenly remembered the taste.

“Patroclus.” Achilles suddenly sat up.

“What?”

“Can I come with you?”

I was a little shocked: “For the feta?”

Achilles shook his head.

And so I understood. 

“You are welcome to board my ship.” I smiled at him. ”Any time. Always.”

 

 

Father was clearly not pleased by Achilles’ sudden decision, but he only asked a simple question: “What are you going to do after we leave Athens?”

“I need to go to some place. So I will buy a ship myself.” Achilles answered.

I was really worried about this vague plan (seriously, it couldn’t be more vague!), but I decided to let it pass for now.

The next day, the troop was about to set sail. Before they leave, Owen came to our boat and asked to see Achilles.

“What’s wrong?” Achilles asked.

“Uh……” Owen was clearly feeling great pressure in front of Achilles: “Prince Achilles, I came here to ask you a question: if I may borrow your armor?”

“No.” Achilles answered without thinking. I could see Owen’s face turned pale at the rejection.

“Why do you need Achilles’ armor?” I interrupted.

“We disobeyed Agamemnon this time, I was afraid he would seek revenge and attack us on the sea, rob us of the gold we loaded. But I was thinking, maybe he wouldn’t dare to attack, if he thinks you are on the boat……”

“Absolutely not! My armor is my identity, the very symbol of my Klaos. You dare to touch it, and I’ll let you pay greatly.” Achilles said darkly. 

“But what he said actually makes sense.” I cocked my head. “Yeah, that’s a good plan if you really think about it.”

Achilles’ face turned red. I was a little guilty. It’s not that I didn’t understand the link between armor and a worrier’s identity, but Owen’s concern was also perfectly reasonable.

Owen must sense Achilles’ change, because he said with eagerness: “Prince Achilles, I promise with my life, I’ll do all among my power to keep the armor unstained!”

Achilles bit his lips, which made him look even younger. I wasn’t sure if he was mad at Owen or me, chances were both.

“Would you let me borrow your armor if I ask?” I was curious.

Achilles paused for a while, but then he nodded grimly. I was a little touched.

“Then just think of it as you lend the armor to me.” I said. Achilles shot me an irritated and accusing glance, but there was also intimacy in it.

And at that, Achilles finally gave his permission.


	17. Patroclus

We landed in Athens after five days voyage, and landed ourselves in a high season of feta, grape and olive. 

I dropped off from the crew as often as I could, and took Achilles to the street.

Achilles had never been to Athens before, so when I asked what aspect of Athens he wanted to know best, he only said I could choose whatever I liked since everything was new to him.

“Do you see the statue of Athena?”

Achilles nodded: “It’s even bigger than the one in Thessaly.”

“It’s because Athena is the primary god of Athens; she represents everything Athenians is proud of, especially wisdom and beauty.” 

Achilles narrowed his eyes at the goddess, like he wanted to see her more clearly.

“Do you like Athena?” I asked. 

To My surprise, Achilles nodded. 

“Is it because she is the goddess of victory?” I felt curious.

“I don’t really know why. It’s just……she dressed like a man, and she walks among men. It seems to me, Athena wants to be deemed as a man……or god. And yet as the goddess of wisdom, she should know this is not possible……” Achilles said with a frown. I was surprised to hear this much.

The figure caught in between…… Somehow this made me think of Achilles himself.

“Another divine figure associated with Athens is Hephaestus. They are Athenian’s parents, you may say.”

“Hephaestus?” Achilles seemed interested about the god of fire and smith. “But……isn’t Athena a virgin goddess?”

“She is. But it is said Hephaestus’ semen accidentally touched Athena’s thigh, and as Athena brushed it away, there born the Athenians.” I said. It almost struck me as a funny story; especially the fact Athenians would recognize themselves to be originated from a drop of unwanted semen. 

“Athena must hate Hephaestus for that……are there no story about Athena get back at Hephaestus?” Achilles cocked his head.

I had to smile at that. Achilles now was like a boy demanding stories. 

“No. And perhaps it’s for the best. If these two extremely smart divinities decide to fight each other to death, who knows what would happen.” I chuckled.

I pointed to the magnificent architecture of Athens: “Athenian identified themselves with Hephaestus for a reason. They admire craft, which you can say is basically Hephaestus’ specialty.”

“So you would take crafts from Athens, and trade them with other states?”

“Basically it works that way. But sometimes Athenians get carried away on their quest for crafty and it comes out useless; on the other hand, sometimes Athenians welcomed rough product from other states if it shines with originality.”

“And you are supposed to know these ahead?” Achilles looked a bit confused.

“Yeah, but we all make mistakes from time to time.” I said.

Then I noticed that we had been wandering and chattering over half a day.

“Do you want to taste some feta?” I asked. 

Achilles shrugged. It probably wasn’t very exciting to him, but I prompted him to give it a try.

I brought Achilles to one of my favorite cheese-maker, and asked him made us samples of dishes made of feta every way he could think of. He grunted and rolled his eyes, but he didn’t refuse. 

The first one we tasted was slices chipped from a large chunk with no other dispose. 

“Can you taste it……a little?” I asked. 

Achilles shook his head and frowned again: “No, it’s……”

“It’s all right. But you can feel the touch on your tongue? It’s……dense, not easily melt.” I said as Achilles looked at me intensely. “And the smell is like……uh, like very strong and pure milk, but not quite……it’s made of sheep’s milk mixed with goat milk, by the way.”

Achilles lifted it up to his nose. I sniffed the feta too.

“Wow,” I let out a breath; the smell seemed to linger in my nostrils: “Never done that before. This one is quite……strong.”

Then I heard Achilles chuckled.

“Don’t play with food, you two!” the cheese-maker protested.

“Never dream of it!” I yelled back: “We are just taking time to enjoy it!”

Then I remembered Achilles had said something about he likes to watch me eat.

“Did I show you how good this is?” I asked him.

His expression went very soft. 

“Very.” He told me.

 

 

At the fifth day, father started to prompt me to prepare for the leaving.

I told him I’ll do that, but I would have to see Achilles safely departure first.

So I went with Achilles to choose the ship.

“What kind of ship do you have in mind?” I asked.

“Good one.”

“Very funny.” I rolled my eyes: “Seriously, you have no idea?”

Achilles shrugged. He really didn’t seem to care a little. “It won’t be hard. Since I got plenty of gold……”

I immediately covered his mouth with my palm, and used all my strength to drag him out of the street.

“Patroclus?” he blinked at me after I let go of him.

“Don’t tell everybody how rich you are!” I warned him. God, this kid had no sense of this kind of things! After all, he was born as a prince; and I guessed live with a centaur for five years did him no good in this territory either.

“Why?” Achilles’ expression was gentle but surprisingly annoying. “It’s not like they could hurt me.”

I could only gape at him. 

“I can’t believe it.” I said.

“Patroclus?” he looked concerned. But really, he was the one who needed that worrying.

“I can’t stand this.” I shook my head.

“I don’t know what……”

“I’m coming with you.” I let it out in a single breath. 

“I……I just can’t……” I stutter afterward.

But Achilles just smiled.

“Anytime.” He said, and I remembered that’s the words I used when I said he wanted to stay with us.

“……and always.”


	18. Achilles

Achilles watched beside as Patroclus negotiated and bargained with the ship dealer. 

Patroclus was rather silent after he had talked with Menoetius. Achilles had to suppose it didn’t go very well.

“Patroclus.” Achilles called him after the deal was done. 

“Um?”

Now that Patroclus was looking at him, Achilles found he wasn’t sure what he wanted to said.

“Thank you.” That was what he finally managed.

“I want to do this too.” Patroclus smiled. He looked……mature when he smile that way, Achilles thought.

“What’s the exact content of the task?” Patroclus asked.

“Chiron asked me to find Hephaestus and fetch him a weapon Hephaestus promised him.”

“Wow.” Patroclus let out a single sound.

“What?” Achilles was suddenly unsettled.

“Nothing. Do you have a map or something?” Obvious he had changed the topic, but Achilles didn’t asked further. Achilles passed him the map Chiron gave him silently.

Patroclus rolled his eyes and said: “Well, that’s very specific.”

Achilles knew Patroclus enough to understand that meant Patroclus was thinking the opposite.

They spent days before getting near the marked point on the map. The landscape matched the map perfectly, but still, Patroclus looked suspicious: “This place……”

“Is there something wrong?” Achilles asked.

“It just……in the common myth, Hephaestus lives under a volcano. But, there’s no volcano as far as I can see.”

“Maybe the myth is not true.”

“Maybe.” Patroclus shrugged. 

The place they land was pretty much a no-man island. They searched for almost a whole day to find the entrance marked on the map. 

“I hope it was not a crater.” Patroclus smiled wryly.

When they couldn’t find the entrance at the end of the day, Patroclus asked: “Do you think it would be save to camp here?”

Achilles scanned around and found an olive tree not far from the beach. He heard Patroclus chuckled and knew that they both remembering the night they spend on the Mont. Pelion. 

“That sounded like a good enough place to sleep,” Patroclus grinned devilishly: ”Do you still afraid of falling down and dead? Because if you do, I can tie you up with the rope on the ship.”

“I think I am over with it now.” That’s not completely true, because he sometimes still had bad dreams about smashing his heel, but he did feel all right when Patroclus was here with him.

“Well, good to know.” Patroclus chuckled again.

 

 

Achilles was awakened in the middle of the night by a huge earth quake. Patroclus was still sleeping, so he got to Patroclus’ side and gathered Patroclus into his arms to prevent him from falling.

“What?” Patroclus opened his eyes; they were still bleary. Achilles felt something stirring up in his chest but couldn’t name it.

“God, it’s an earth quake!” Patroclus blurted out as he realized what was happening, and he reflectively wrapped an arm around Achilles’ shoulder.

When it finally stopped, they did not let go each other at once. 

“That’s hell of an earth quake.” Patroclus mumbled.

“That coming from someone didn’t even wake up at first.” Achilles said wryly. Normally, he was not someone who would tease, but it came naturally this time.

Patroclus laughed. It was a crisp, clear sound.

“Do you think the earth quake is somehow related to Hephaestus?” Patroclue asked.

“It could be.” Achilles nodded. 

The next morning, as soon as the sun showed on the horizon, they began to search the island again. Not for long, Patroclus found a cave near the other side of the beach.

“Can this be a lair of bear?” Patroclus cocked his head.

“No, don’t have the smell.” Achilles said.

Patroclus seemed to be considering.

“Then let’s have some look around.” Patroclus said. 

They made a torch and carefully stepped inside the cave. It was slightly downhill and narrow about the entrance. After they walked for a while, Patroclus frowned: “Is the cave this long from outside?”

“No, it’s strange. Do you want to get out?”

“No. If this really is Hephaestus’ home, it is supposed to be weird right?” Patroclus said with a mischievous smile.

Not long after, they saw lights of fire in front of them. It looked like a big fire was at the front. Or a big oven. 

Achilles tug Patrovlus’ runic almost reflectively. 

“What?” Patroclus asked.

Achilles shook his head and stepped forward like a shelter to Patroclus.

Patroclus laughed: “What are you doing?”

Achilles didn’t answer. There was no way to go now. They were suddenly gazing at a giant pit below. There’re fires and coals everywhere in the pit; at the middle of it was a giant of a man using a hammer to smash hard on a piece of metal that glowing red from heat.

They yelled to get his attention, but the man did seem to hear them. He was all absorbed in his work.

Hephaestus lifted his forging, and then he shook his head like a father watching at his clumsy son. Then, he thrust the medal forward in to a fire. All of a sudden, the fire roar up like a fountain made of sheer fire coming from nowhere.

At the moment the fire flared up, it’s only by instinct and luck that Achilles steadied himself by grabbing at a protrusion of rock and held Patroclus tightly in his arms…….because the next moment, the earth quake happened again.

“Wow.” Patroclus looked at the fire. “It’s him who caused the earth quake after all!”

“The fire……is that fire of volcanoes?” Achilles asked.

“I think so. But we were definitely not in the island any more……so it must be a volcano under the sea!” Patroclus’ eyes widened in realization.

After the earth quake stopped, they use rope to climb down to the pit.

“Who are you? Kid?” a voice boomed soon as they touched ground.

They both looked up and saw Hephaestus scanning them with his small, fiery eyes. He was very tall but stooped slightly. His face was almost square, nose too big and lip too thick like two dead fish pressed together. He was not good looking, that part myth got it right, Achilles thought, but there’s nothing so terrible that would let a father want to terminate his very existence neither.

“Are you Hephaestus?” Patroclus asked cautiously.

“Yes, I am……wait, I asked you first!” Hephaestus almost pouted. At first glance he seemed scary, but now he looked like some half-drunken village smith trying to find trouble for two passersby. 

Achilles stepped forward and said: “I’m……”

“Achilles. I’m not asking you. What make you think I would not recognize you? You look exactly like your mother.”

“You know my mother?” Achilles was surprised.

“She didn’t tell you then.”

Achilles fought the urge to look away. “We are not……very close.”

“Shame. She is the most loving mother in the world……Well, in our world at least.”

“What are you talking about?” Achilles felt anger rising in him, though he wasn’t sure the reason.

“Achilles.” Patroclus stepped closer. And just by doing that, he made the fire in him subside a little.

Hephaestus didn’t seem to notice the slight change in Achilles; he smiled wryly at Achilles: “We are some sort of brothers, you may say.”

Achilles felt the fire rising again.

“But aren’t you son of Zeus and Hera?” Patroclus beat Achilles to ask.

“Oh, how I wish that was not true. But yes I am the son of the king and queen of Olympus. But it is Thetis who took care of me when my mother dropped me----I was still an infant then-----into the sea.”

“You lived with her as a child?” Achilles asked.

“Yes. She sheltered me and took care of me. She used to sing songs to me when she was happy. She told me if she would one day have a son, she would never ever hurt him like what my mother did to me.” 

Achilles felt a vague pain in his chest. It seemed to him Hephaestus was deliberately provoking him, but he wasn’t sure why the God of smith would want to do that. 

“Don’t blame her for her absence.” Hephaestus said: “It’s not easy for her to have a mortal son. Humans are such wretched things. Now you are so beautiful, like the most handsome god Apollo himself, but your beauty will soon fade away……”

Achilles frowned and asked reflectively: “But, are you ever being beautiful?”

There’s a strange silence in the pit.

Then Patroclus almost shouted at him with a terrified expression, which was probably the first time: “Achilles!”

But then, Hephaestus suddenly laughed boomingly. “Yes, yes, you get a point!”

Though Achilles didn’t know what made him laugh so crazily.

“Don’t worry,” he grinned at Patroclus: “I get over my look long time ago. Besides, I create beautiful things. I own beautiful things. It’s better than being beautiful.”

And then he turned to look at Achilles with curious eyes.

“Please don’t make Achilles one of your collections.” Patroclus blurted out.

And the god of smith laughed again: “You are both so interesting!”

“So, what are you two here for?” Hephaestus finally asked. 

“I’m here for my teacher, Chiron.” Achilles said.

“Oh, Chiron.” Hephaestus made a distasted face. “He is no fun.”

That’s not what Achilles expected.

“I am here to fetch the weapon you promised him.”

“Yes, Chiron had sent me the message through Iris. What about yourself? Do you want my armor?” Hephaestus’ question seemingly came from nowhere.

“I already have my armor. My father gave it to me.”

Hephaestus shrugged. “I think I’ll make you one anyway. You can come to fetch it should you change your mind.”

Achilles let it passed. “So, Chiron’s weapon……”

“I would have given it to him if my dear brother hadn’t pulled the stunt.”

”Ares?” Patroclus asked.

“Yeah, he is practically the family bully you know.”

“What did he do?” Achilles asked.

“Well, he cursed the sword.”

“So……what would happen if I take it?”

“You’ll have to fight Ares.”

“What?” Achilles’ eye widened.

“Don’t worry, if Chiron sent you, he must think there’s a chance you would not die.”

“Well, that’s relieving.” Patroclus rolled his eyes.

“It’s not real Ares anyway. It’s just a small piece of him.”

Achilles stared at him: “I’m not sure I understand……”

Hephaestus cut Achilles off: “We gods can be at more than one place at the same time if we want, though it would cut thin of our power greatly.”

“So Ares is really somewhere else?” Achilles frowned: “And he risked cutting thin his power just to curse you.”

“Pretty dumb, uh? I told you my family was no fun.“

Is that something about fun? Achilles thought, but did not speak it out loud.

“So, where can I find this sword?” Achilles asked.

Hephaestus seemed amused by his straight forward answer.

“There,” he pointed to a cave on the other side of the pit: “You’ll find the sword inside.”

Achilles took a deep breath and stepped forward.

“Achilles!” Patroclus called him from behind: “Careful!”

Achilles nodded and then stepped inside the cave.

There’s nothing in the cave that was like the fire of Hephaestus’ pit to light it up, but somehow Achilles could see quite clearly the inside of the cave.

The cave was not nearly as deep as the external one, and as Achilles reached the end of it, he saw a man lying on a bed with a sword penetrated his shoulder. 

And he was completely naked.

The man looked furious, but as Achilles observed, he found the man wasn’t moving.

Achilles did not dwell on this; he just stepped forward and pulled the sword out in a single move.

And before he could post a formal combat stand, the man jumped at him, and was fully armored in seconds. He even had a sword in his hand from nowhere too.

“Ares?”

Ares only hissed. Ares jumped and with a single blow his full weight was descended upon Achilles.

Achilles intercepted it with the sword he just pulled out of Ares, and he used the force Ares put upon him to pull himself away from Ares.

Small piece of Ares, Achilles thought. He would not lose to this avatar or something. 

So before Ares could pull another attack, Achilles charged. 

Achilles quickly found his advantage. Ares was powerful and agile, but his movement was only a combination of intuitive reactions. If Achilles deviated from the orthodox action, Ares’ response would slow down visibly. 

Achilles began to move faster and faster and often changed tactic before the last could complete. Ares began to show disorder in his action. When Ares swung again, Achilles defied the common reaction and slid himself under the sword. Before Ares could react again, Achilles swung the sword along with himself with a whirl.

And Ares was vanished.

And then, Achilles found something was happening……

 

 

“Achilles!” Patroclus yelled and ran to Achilles once he showed up from the cave.

“I am fine.” Achilles said, while threw the sword tip down into the ground.

“Mm……I am pretty impressed!” Hephaestus’ joyful sound was somehow annoying.

“You lied. Ares did not curse you. You trapped him there.” Achilles said. “That’s the truth, right?”

“How do you come to that conclusion?” Hephaestus seemed not a bit ashamed.

“I thought Ares would regain his power after the curse was lifted. But it is not like that. I don’t think Ares would sacrifice that much power just to curse you.”

“Yes, I trapped him there.” Hephaestus grinned: “I trapped him in bed naked with my wife.”

But he didn’t seem like a cuckolded husband. He was much too happy for that.

“Aphrodite?” Patroclus said.

“Yeah, her. Marry her was never my idea, you know. She was stupid and cruel.”

“Then where’s Aphrodite? She was not on the bed with Ares.” Achilles said.

“She begged me to set her free. Offer her body to seduce me. Never bother to look at Ares once.” Hephaestus grinned like a little boy: “You should see the expression on my dear brother’s face.”

“So you set free Aphrodite and trapped Ares there all along?”

“Yes. In the end Ares had to sacrifice part of himself and let his essence escape. He did it so quickly I couldn’t stop him. I actually plan to set him free, whether you believe it or not.”

Achilles snorted slightly.

“So you felt it.” Hephaestus grinned at Achilles. 

“Feel what?” Patroclus asked.

“The power.” Hephaestus said. Achilles nodded curtly as an answer. 

“The power Ares left would go to the one who pull off the sword. That’s the real reason Chiron sent you here.” Hephaestus seemed really happy: “Tell me. What does it feel like? Stronger? Swelling inside? Energetic?”

Achilles ignored him. “So this is the weapon Chiron was asking for?”

Hephaestus made a face at him: ”There’s never such a thing. Just an excuse for you to come here.”

Achilles looked down at his own hands. It felt restless. Powerful.

“Chiron must like you very much.”

Achilles closed his eyes, remembering the centaur for a while. Now that the weapon was proved nonsexist, he didn’t plan to go back to Chiron. Maybe he would not see Chiron again. 

The thought didn’t pain him, but it did leave a sense of hollowness inside him. 

“Hephaestus, thank you.” Achilles said.

“I thought you would never say it.” Hephaestus said teasingly.

“So, can we go now?” Achilles asked.

“Actually, there’s a task inside your task.”

Achilles looked at him suspiciously. “What task?”

“This is the pact between Chiron and I. I let you possess the power of Ares, and you’ll have to do one thing for me.”

“You’re sure this ever happened?” Patroclus frowned. 

“You are suspicious aren’t you? Of course I didn’t make it up.”

“Can you prove it?” Patroclus said.

“No, I don’t need to. Because without my help, you two kids would never get to leave this place.”

“You……” Achilles stared at him. 

“What do you want me to do?” he finally said.

“A good thing actually. I need you to help me rescue a person.”

“Why would you want to do so?” Achilles asked. Hephaestus was better than other gods he knew, but he didn’t seem to care much about human. 

“You hurt my feeling, little brother.” But his voice was still happy. 

“Just tell us. Who is it that you are speaking about?” Achilles said.

“He is Aphrodite’s pet.”

“You mean lover.” Patroclus said.

“I mean pet.” Hephaestus repeated again.

“But you said you don’t want Aphrodite.” Patroclus tilted his head. 

Patroclus seemed to get along with Hephaestus pretty well, Achilles thought.

“I’m not doing this for Jealousy. My father asked me to do so. Saying that the boy had something to do the ’final war’, and thus Aphrodite must give him up.”

“Final war?” Achilles’ heart raced. “Is that the war Chiron was talking about?”

“He told you that? Um……”

“Will I play a part in this war?” Achilles asked.

Hephaestus shrugged, like the question bored him: “You know the answer. Why even bother asking?”

Achilles knew the god of smith spoke of the truth. Achilles was aware that Patroclus was watching him, but he didn’t return the gaze. Finally, Patroclus turned his gaze to Hephaestus again.

“So Aphrodite took the boy as her……uh, pet?” Patroclus asked.

“Yes, for over ten years; which was pretty amazing for Aphrodite’s record. Not that she ever stopped taking other pets, though. Zeus never bothered to ask one time. And now because some prophecy, he wants Aphrodite to give up the boy. And he didn’t even have the gall to confront Aphrodite. So he just go “pooph” in front of me one day, and told me to ‘discipline’ my wife.”

“What exactly do we do this?” Patroclus asked. Achilles eyed him with amazement. Patroclus really seemed to become someone reliable, smart and mature. And gentle too, he thought secretly.

“I have a secrete tunnel links straight into Aphrodite’s room; it can take you there in no time, but it’s one way only. So you just find the boy, grab him and run.”

“Wait, run from Olympus?”

“No, Aphrodite’s secrete lair is at Troy, built for her by her another lover, Anchises.”

“Troy the golden city?” Patroclus blurted out.

“Golden city?” Achilles knew troy was Greek’s ally city, but never the nick name ‘golden city’.

“It’s because Troy is rich in gold. And they also famous for using gold to create utensils.” Patroclus told Achilles.

“Which is quite distasteful, if you asked me. They think they can beautify everything by making it gold.” Hephaestus snorted. 

“Is he there by his own will? I mean, will he just go with us?” Patroclus asked.

“Who do you think you are talking about? Aphrodite was the incarnation of lust; of course he was totally enchanted by her! She can charm Zeus if she like. Besides, love charm is cheaper than guards.”

“If he is in love with Aphrodite, how can we take him with us?”

“I just told you: one, grab; two, run. And I ‘m sure you can distinguish someone in love with someone lust-bonded and sexually-exploited.”

Patroclus seemed to blush at the words.

“If we encounter Aphrodite, how do we do?”

“Run or beat her before she has the chance to charm you.”

“Wait! You can’t send Achilles!” Patroclus suddenly exclaimed. “What if she decides to take Achilles instead?”

“Achilles is not her dish, trust me. She has a thing for suckers.” Hephaestus snorted: “But I’ll give you a charm for disguise in case. It’ll pass soon after you leave Troy, but meanwhile you two would be so ugly that she won’t even want to look at you.”

“Wait, me too?” Patroclus asked.

“Of course! Everyone more handsome than me needs an ugly charm!” Hephaestus said happily.


	19. Achilles

Achilles and Patroclus came out the tunnel to find it was dusk on the other side. Stood in front of them was a huge mansion with a flowery garden. The facade of it was not a wall but sculptured pillar with purple gauze drape that made the inside of the building vaguely visible.

“It’s hotter than where we came from.” Patroclus noted, and then he made a face to Achilles. “I really hope Aphrodite is not home.” 

Achilles looked at Patroclus. Hephaestus told them they won’t see each other’s face changed because they both in charm, but it still seemed odd to Achilles.

“Do you know the boy’s name?” Achilles had asked Hephaestus before they came here.

“I don’t know his real name, but Aphrodite used to call him Alexander.” That is Hephaestus’ answer. Alexander, amazing man.

Achilles turned to tell Patroclus: “Patroclus, I can go alone.” 

“But I am curious!” Patroclus grinned, and made Achilles feel warmth course through his chest.

As they walked toward the house, they could smell a sweet fragrance in the air. It’s dense and moist, and it felt sticky to their skin.

“I don’t like this place.” Achilles said with distaste.

“Me neither.”

As they passed the purple drape, they enter a room decorated in a style between luxurious and gaudy. At the end of the room, there’s another layer of purple drapes. And through the gauze, they could see three blurred figures at the other side.

They approached with all the caution they could manage, and then Achilles lifted a corner of the drape to peek inside.

The first thing they noticed is a large artificial lake. On the clear water, there were purple lotuses that seemingly floated upon it.

And beside the lake, there was a woman recumbent on the bank,. She was beautiful and almost naked. At the near side, two young men were wrestling, obviously for her to watch.

“Go on, um……that’s nice!” the woman cheered them on with her lush, slightly husky sound. But what she said made no sense to Achilles, and he wondered why this woman who had not even the basic understanding of wrestle would want to see this.

Finally, the one of the young man got the other under his mercy, and they both panted hard. 

“You lose, Alexander.” The woman giggled: “Now I want you kiss and make good.”

Obviously, the two young men were not receiving this order for the first time. Their mouth quickly found the other’s, and so were their tongues.

“What the……” Achilles made an annoyed sound, but quickly stopped himself. 

“Alexander, you always lose recently.” Aphrodite pouted.

The boy, Alexander, was a thin, pale boy with curling long black hair. He looked unnerved by Aphrodite’s words.

“Are you not interested in pleasing me anymore?” Aphrodite asked.

“No, goddess, I……”

“Or maybe twenty-six was a little old for a lover…”

“No, I……”

“Your hair is losing its luster; you are as cute as when you are a boy. Tell me why I should keep you.”

Achilles was genuinely annoyed by this woman, and was hoping this Alexander guy would shut up and let the woman throw him out so that he and Patroclus could just pick him home. But he was quickly disappointed.

“I……I got amazing fingers. You used to tell me my finger was the most amazing you had ever tasted.”

Achilles was annoyed by both of them now.

“True.” Aphrodite looked thoughtful. “But no prize for losers. So you’ll have to stay there and watch this time. Achylus, came here.”

The other young man quickly got to the other side, and started to kiss Aphrodite’s finger. Alexander was still sitting at the near side. His eyes glistered with strange fire, and they were fixed on the two tangled lovers.

Achilles drew his sword. 

“Wait!” Patroclus started to say.

Before Patroclus could say anything, Achilles cut off the drapes that descending from the ceiling, and covered the three of person beside the lake.

Achilles dragged Alexander out of the gauze, knocked him off with a single blow and put him on his shoulder. The other two was still struggling at the other side.

“Why not just wait until Aphrodite is gone?” Patroclus gaped at him.

Just then, a hand grabbed Achilles’ wrest.

It’s Aphrodite.

Achilles dropped Alexander. He could felt something rising in him, and he was gradually taken over by it.

“Achi……” Patroclus yelled. His voice was terrified.

“Run.” That was all Achilles could manage to say.

“No!” Patroclus yelled.

Aphrodite smiled her poisonous smile.

But that didn’t last long. 

The next moment, Achilles’ fingers were crushing on her slim neck, and he pushed her down onto the purple texture he just cut off.

Aphrodite’s eyes were full of surprise, and then quickly turned into fears. Achilles kneeled across her, his finger tighten in an intention to strangle her. 

Aphrodite struggled and kicked and wavering her hand crazily. Suddenly, her hand touched Achilles again, and Achilles felt the rush Aphrodite roused in him had subsided.

He let go of Aphrodite, and sat there in disbelief.

“Go!” Patroclus dragged at his arm, and he finally snapped out of the trance. 

Achilles pulled Alexander onto his shoulder again, and started to run.

 

 

After leaving the mansion of Aphrodite, Achilles and Patroclus followed Hephaestus’ instruction and went searching for a small temple of Hephaestus on a hill. Hephaestus told them he had already sent a massage to the only family of Alexander that was still searching for him to come to the temple and wait for their coming.

They had been worried that Aphrodite might come after them, but after certain time, they gradually relaxed.

“I don’t know Hephaestus has temple here.” Patroclus said: “It seems odd to me that we have the same gods with Trojan people.”

When they found the temple, it was already dark in the night. As they approached the temple, Patroclus sighed.

“What?”

“I was just thinking……there is only one person in the whole world that is still waiting for him.” Patroclus said.

“If you are gone, I don’t care how long it takes…… I will find you eventually.”

Patroclus smiled. 

“It’s late, do you think he or she would still be there?” Patroclus asked.

“I would.” Achilles said.

“You mean you will wait if its your family?”

“Yes,” Achilles eyed Patroclus, a vague smile on his lips: “And stop correcting me.”

Patroclus laughed. His eyes went softer.

“What?” Achilles asked.

“You have been quiet since we left the terrible house.”

“I……”

“Who is there?” a voice cut off their conversation. A man rushed out of the temple; he paused for a moment, and then ran all the way to them.

“Oh, god……” the man looked at the still unconscious Alexander. “Paris?”

Before Achilles and Patroclus could say anything, the man kneeled before them, and gathered his long lost kinsman into his arms.

“He is only passed out; he will wake up soon!” Patroclus told the man, who is looked at them questioningly.

“Oh, merciful Hephaestus! You bring Paris back!” the man said, and then he started to cry. “Thank you! Thank you!”

He cried for a long time, and then he finally stopped. When he stopped crying, he was all poised and calm. It must take great self control to do so, Achilles thought.

“I thank you too, loyal massagers of Hephaestus!” the man said. He was a strong man, tall and broad shouldered. Much larger than both Achilles and Patroclus. He was about thirty, good looking in a stoic worrier’s way.

“You will forever be noble guests of Troy. All Trojans will greet you whenever you come!”

“You can do that?” Achilles frowned: “Who are you?”

“Hephaestus did not tell you then,” he wipe at his eyes: “I am prince of Troy, like Paris here you just saved. My name is Hector.”


	20. Patroclus

When we got to the temple, it was already pretty late, so we decided to stay in the temple for the night. The priest, knowing we were guests to their crowned prince, didn’t say a word more. Achilles didn’t speak much, so mostly it was me talking to Hector.

Hector was an amiable and kind man; despite Achilles and I looked terribly deformed (as Hephaestus told us we would), he was still polite and respectful to us. 

“Paris is your brother?” I asked him.

“Yes, he is my……” Hector made a choking sound, his hand coming to caress Paris’ hair gently: “My beloved brother……”

After we told him we were going back to Greek tomorrow, Hector offered to let us aboard one of the ship that was sailing for Greek.

“We will go visiting my sister Cassandra tomorrow, so we can travel together.” Hector said. “Truth be told, I’m not comfortable with the idea that you two traveling along. You might encounter bandits on the road.”

Hector had no idea he was talking about probably the most menacing warrior since Heracles, but it showed his kindness. 

“That’s very considerate of you.” I said. “Thank you, prince Hector.”

“No, thank you.” he replied.

 

 

After Achilles and I back to the room the priest prepare for us, I said: “Everything seems going well. Hector really loves his brother greatly; maybe after some time, Paris would be able to get over the terrible memory with Aphrodite.”

Achilles only nodded.

“What’s wrong?”I asked him.

“You remember when we were in the house, Aphrodite grabbed my hand…….”

“I remember that. I thought she was going to charm you, making you lust over her.”

“She did charm me.”

I was shocked: “She did? But you didn’t……”

“I suddenly felt……violent. If she did not take it back I might just kill her.”

“Goddess can’t be killed.”

“But it’s strange. Why would she want to make me violent?” Achilles seemed confused.

I thought about it and blushed when the possible answer came to me.

“Achilles, have you ever……um, have you ever slept with a girl?” I asked.

Achilles frowned: “No, I only left the mountain a few months ago.”

“Well, that might be the reason.” I coughed in to my fist before continued: “She wanted to make you lust over her, but you……um, don’t know how to channel the feeling yet, so you showed it with violence. Don’t worry; it’s just a temporary thing.”

“I’m not worried.” He said. He might not, but I thought he was afraid of the feeling of losing control. So did I.I was worried about this part of Achilles sometimes.

“Have you ever?” Achilles asked. “Slept with a girl.”

I blushed again. It seemed so strange to talk this with a childhood friend……or was it just Achilles?

“How old do you think I am? I’m twenty.”

“That means yes.”

“……yes.”

Then Achilles watched my face with such intensity that made my face hot. 

“You don’t look like that.”

“It won’t show on the face!” 

I almost laughed, if not for the expression of Achilles’ face. Achilles seemed a little lost. 

“Are you not happy?” I asked him. I almost reached out to touch his face like when he was little, but something in his eyes and on his face reminded me he was not a kid anymore. Achilles was now a……

Achilles shook his head.

“I am……content with you.”

I blushed again. But this time, it seemed for a different reason.

 

That night, I had a strange dream.

I dreamed about riding horses with Achilles, like when we were just two kids; and suddenly, the land before us split apart, like a bleeding wound cut through the ground. 

I yelled but Achilles didn’t seem to hear me. I watched as Achilles fell and be swallowed by the giant gulf, and then I kneeled on the ground, crying my heart out.

“Patroclus!”

I woke up to see Achilles kneeled beside my bed.

“Achilles?”

“You are yelling in your dream.” He said. His green eyes glistered in the darkness.

I closed my eyes for a moment, knowing Achilles was still there, watching over me.

I thought I knew where this dream came from. 

When I told my father I would go with Achilles, we had a serious fight. Father said Achilles was a man now, and he didn’t need a mother to watch over him. When I told my father how much this meant to me, he said for my sake it’s better to stay away from Achilles.

“But Achilles is my best friend!” I told him. “We are like twin souls.”

“That kid belongs to another world. He will become a warrior and die pursuing fame pretty soon. And you destiny is to build a small family, have many children, and die surrounded by you grandchildren.”

“Why do you have to say that? What do you know about Achilles?” my voice raised. I had never talked to my father like this. I always conceded before he got angry; but what he said about Achilles pushed me over the edge.

“I had seen. I was once an Argonaut.”

“But you survived.” I said.

“Because I realized it early. Gods love heroes, but never for very long. They help heroes when they are young and strong. When heroes get old or weak, they just become embarrassments that gods only too eager to get rid of. Then they realize too late that they throw their lives away for nothing.”

That was too cruel for me.

“I will go with Achilles, with or without your agreement!”

“Suit yourself. Just don’t come home crying!”

 

“Patroclus?” 

Achilles’ sound dragged me back to reality. I was here with Achilles. Achilles was still alive. 

I was seized by a sudden impulse. I clung to Achilles and pressed my forehead to his chest. Achilles was alive. His heart was pounding, steady and sound……

I heard rain falling. It’ like we were in an isolated small world that only we belong.

I felt embarrassed when I realize what I had been doing. I wanted to pull away, but Achilles’ wrapped a hand around me and pushed me back to my original position. My heart raced like it never knew this intimacy before.

“Achilles, I am all right now. Let go of me!” I protested. 

He let go; but I was suddenly reluctant to leave.

“Achi……”

Just then, a scream broke the strange air between Achilles and me. We turned to look at each other for a second and both rushed out of the room. 

Like I had guessed, it’s Alexander……or Paris waking up. 

Hector was holding Paris tightly in his arms, but Paris was like some startled young bird, struggling and writhing to get away.

“Paris, it’s fine now. You are safe. I am your brother, remember? I am Hector, and you are my little brother……” Hector said it again and again. His face was red and twisted with pain.

“Hector?”

“Yes, it’s me!” Hector let him loose to show his face to his little brother. 

The panic on Paris’ face was gone, now there was only emptiness. Then suddenly, Paris was trembling all over. 

“Why do you show up after all these years?” Paris demanded.

“Paris?”

“Why do you leave me there for so many years, and then……”

“I don’t know! Paris! I swear! Please, you have to believe me! I had been looking for you all these years!” Hector almost begging now.

“You have been looking for me?” Paris asked. Though a grown man, he looked like a little kid when he looked up at Hector from his chest.

“Yes, Paris. And now I finally found you!” 

“No,” Paris snorted. “No, you didn’t find me. I’m not the Paris you know. I’m not prince of Troy anymore.”

“Paris, please……” Hector looked horrified.

“I’m not Paris. I’m not even a man. I am just Aphrodite’s pet……Aphrodite’s whore……”

“No! Paris! No……” Hector looked so hurt, but it seemed that all he could say was “Paris” and “No”.

“I had told you.” Paris suddenly said. His voice sounded so cold that it made my blood freeze. 

“I……” Hector could only stare.

“I had told you, mother hated me. She was going to kill me or worse……but you never believed me……” Paris’ voice was hollow like reeds, like those ghosts Priests made up to scare little children. They would come back at weddings or banquets because they hated joys and laughers……

“I……”

“Now see what happened,” Paris curled his lips, but it did not look like a smile. “Do you believe me now?” 

“Paris……”

“You said you believed me; you said you would protect me……”

Hector dropped Paris like he was struck by a thunder. Truth be told, I really wanted to hit Paris at the moment, though I could understand his pain and suffering.

Even as I hesitated to intervene, Hector suddenly stood up and ran out of the door, into the rain.

It happened so quickly, none of us was able to stop him. 

Paris sat there like a discarded cat. Then he burst into furious tears.

Achilles looked at me, and I could read from his knitted brows that he was asking: should I knock him off again? I shook my head several times in answer.

I didn’t know how many time had passed, finally, I heard footsteps pounding in the rain. Suddenly everyone, including Paris, was looking at the entrance.

Hector showed up at the door.

“Hector……” Paris cried out. “I thought you were gone……again……”

“No……” Hector rushed inside, and held Paris into his arms again. “I’ll never leave you again. Never……”

The word “never” hung in this moist air, like a tear that would never dry.


	21. Patroclus

The next morning Paris was quiet after the paroxysm at night, but there was still something strange about him. He looked weak and pale, and it didn’t seem to get better after a night of rest.

“It’s probably the thing Aphrodite gave me to eat……” Paris seemed ashamed.

I could only curse inside: just how corrupted Aphrodite could get? Luckily, the poor guy still got Hector…

However, as we spent more time with the two brothers, it became clear to me that it was a dangerous imbalance they had become. Paris was dependent, petulant, and sometimes even demanding in front of Hector, who seemed only too eager to accomplish Paris’ every whimsical request. Love and guilt. It could be a dangerously devastating combination.

When Hector bade us farewell, I searched my mind for words that was not harsh but could still give him some warning.

“Hector.” I called him. 

Hector looked surprised, as if he wasn’t sure that’s his name. He seemed a bit weary from last night.

Finally I said: “Don’t lose yourself.”

Hector smiled at that: “I’ll do that or die trying.”

I really hope it turned out to be the former one.

We decided to board a ship headed to Athens; though my father’s crew might be long gone, hopefully, I could still fish out their whereabouts. And that would be the end of me and Achilles’ voyage. And it was now harder than ever for me to leave Achilles.

I was hoping Achilles would say he want to travel with us for a while, at least accompany me to the next location, but I knew very well it was not for me to say. Achilles was not like me. He was a prince, a commander, and might soon be a king; he had his responsibility.

With all those thoughts on my mind, I was quiet on the voyage to Athens. And for the same reason, it was until we almost got to Athens that I remembered it was almost Anthesteria in Athens now. 

Anthesteria, the festival in honor of Dionysus, but more importantly, it’s a festival of wine and spring. 

I was so eager to get Achilles to join the Anthesteria that I was anxious again. 

“Why are you upset for days and suddenly get excited?” Achilles asked me.

“I’m not telling you until we arrive in Athens.” I snorted.

Achilles frowned in confusion, but then he said: “So long as you are happy.”

To my delight, we arrived just as the morning of Anthesteria.

Not long after we left the ship, I heard someone calling from behind us.

“Achilles!”

We both turned and saw a young man wavering eagerly at Achilles. He was roughly about Achilles’ age, a little plump in a child-like way. 

He ran toward us, brown eyes glistering: “I haven’t expected to see you here! Achilles of Phthia!”

Achilles frowned. “Who are you?”

The young man made a faked sad expression: “I’m Castor. We fought together in the war against Thessaly!”

Achilles was still frowning, and I almost felt a little sorry for this Castor when Achilles suddenly said: “You are Agamemnon’s cousin.”

“You remember after all.”Castor grinned: “Yeah, but not by blood. My sister Helen is married to his brother Menelaus.”

“You are prince of Sparta.” Achilles said.

“……who would never be a king!” Castor shrugged.

I had heard that Menelaus became king of Sparta by marrying Helen, which left Helen’s brothers in an awkward situation. I didn’t know why the former king didn’t pass his reign to his own son, but I also knew better than to ask Castor “Why your father gave away the throne instead of passing it to you?”

“Why are you here in Athens? Is there a war coming?” Achilles frowned.

“No, I was here to visit Ajax; I was hoping he would take me as his apprentice. But when I got here, he was already accepted another offer.”

“Ajax…… is he a great worrier?” Achilles asked.

“They said he is the best.”

I didn’t miss a slight twist on Achilles’ face.

“He is not only good at fighting,” Castor continued to say: “He is also a master in tactic deployment, so that he could elicit the best from his troop.”

Achilles seemed thoughtful after hearing Castor’s comment on Ajax.

“But you are the worrier whole Greek is now raving about! And you establish your fame by just one battle!”

Achilles snorted slightly. 

“I am hoping to learn more at your side.” Castor looked at Achilles with adoration.

“I have no objection to that,” Achilles said: “But I could not give you any privilege over the myrmidons. You would have to be train with them.”

“Look like I had failed to impress you.” Castor grinned. “But I’ll try to make it in the next battle.”

“Are you serious……”

Castor cut Achilles off: “I have to go now. I truly expect next time we fight together!”

At that, Castor turned and ran toward the harbor.

“I wonder what made this kid so happy about war.” I murmured. 

“I am more interested in what you want to show me.” Achilles said, and made me felt a rush of warmth on my face.

“Come and let me show you.” I said with a smile.

The Athenian scenery today was an absolute treat to the senses. Every door and every child was adorned with spring flowers, and the lush fragrance of fresh wine from every store hung in the air so thick that also made me tipsy. 

“This is Anthesteria, a festival for wine and spring.” And the dead also, but I didn’t say that. I didn’t really know the reason why I was holding back that part of information.

“I love the smell.” I closed my eyes to drink in the intoxicating fragrances. “It’s the smell of spring and vintage!”

When I opened my eye, I found Achilles was smiling lightly at me. 

“That’s go get some wine!” I said. 

“Which one is your favorite?” Achilles asked.

“It changes every year.” I grinned. “Can’t say before I taste them all.”

“All?”

“Go ask every store, they’ll give you a sample for tasting!”

“For free?” Achilles cocked his head.

“Of course they are hoping you would buy some more, but yes, it’s for free.”

Achilles was not into it yet, and I had to drag him from door to door. I knew I was being overly excited. But if these were the last few days with Achilles, I wanted we both had a lot of fun.

“What did it smell like?” I urged Achilles, who was holding a bowl of wine. 

Achilles lifted the vessel; it’s decorated with flower too. “Like……grape.”

I laughed.

“And flower too.”

“Now drink it.” I ordered.

He pointed the wine at my hand, and I down it first, and then Achilles followed my gesture.

“What does that feel like? I say the texture was really good. Smooth and subtle……”

Before Achilles could answer, the store owner leaned toward me and placed a white flower on my head. “It’s a prize for the one who get sensitive tongue!”

“Hey, I am not a child!” I protested half jokingly.

“But it looks good on you.” Achilles said seriously.

I was pretty sure I blushed.

That night, Achilles and I brought wine to a small hill. I had gotten information about our ship was now at Peloponnese, and knowing I was really at the final moment with Achilles.

“Ever try falling asleep with tipsiness?” I asked while passed him a cup of wine. 

Achilles shook his head, and then he looked at the sky: “It’s full moon tonight.”

“It’s always full moon at Anthesteria.” I told him.

“It’s that so?”

“Yes, it is.” I said while trying to get comfortable on the meadow.

I sipped at the rest of the wine while Achilles looked up at the moon. His green eyes were very soft under the moonlight.

“How do you like the wine?”

“It’s sweet…….” 

I was going to ask him if he could taste it, but then I found that his gaze was intense on me. 

Achilles was absolutely beautiful under the moonlight, his green eyes mysterious and fathomless. But Achilles’ beauty was not that of sensual. He was like……leopards or eagles, those beautiful beasts that made one shiver at sight and wonder about the creator’s existence.

“What else?” I asked a little huskily.

“Heat……” Achilles pointed at his throat, “Here, when I swallowed……”

Then I lifted myself up and pressed a kiss at Achilles’ throat.

I pull off soon, and was suddenly nervous. I was not new to this intimacy, but with Achilles it was different. A small part of me was yelling at the back of my head, demanding to know what I had done. 

“Patroclus.”

I was almost startled to find how close Achilles’ voice was. And before I could register the change of circumstances, Achilles’ lips were on mine. 

When I found Achilles was not moving, I began to taste him.

“You taste of wine,” I told him after pulling off. I smiled and felt all soft inside.

I was thinking about more kiss, when Achilles pulled me into a light embrace. I pulled him down with me onto the meadow. Achilles put on no resistance.

I adjusted our position so that we lay down facing each other.

“After we leave Athens……” Achilles began to say.

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow.” I ordered. I don’t want to think about that just now.

When Achilles did not speak, I pressed a kiss at his hair.

“Sleep, Achilles.” I said.


	22. Achilles

Achilles woke up to find Patroclus slept beside him. He still smelled of the sweetness of wine. He felt an urge to press a kiss on Patoclus’ forehead, but he didn’t do it. What happened last night was still like a dream to him, and he felt a bit awkward with all the sweet new feelings inside him. 

So instead, he slowly got up, carefully not to wake patroclus, and walked toward the edge of the hill. From where he stood, he could see people gathering around on the street, which was expected, since Patroclus had told him that Anthesteria would last for three days.

What Achilles did not expect was some people were on the mountain side, pouring wine onto small obelisks. 

“It’s libation for the dead.” 

Achilles turned and found it was Patroclus standing behind him. He was smiling as usual, but it seemed to Achilles he was a little listless.

“They say the second day of Anthesteria is the day the dead walks on earth again.” Patroclus explained. “Maybe some of them were walking among us; can you imagine?”

“Are you all right?” Achilles asked, and made Patroclus shrugged in answer.

“I think I’ll take a ship to Peloponnese today,” Patroclus said.

Achilles’ eyes widened in surprise.

“I will accompany you there.” Achilles said.

Patroclus nodded, and then he smiled impishly. “I was……waiting for you to say so.”

But before Achilles could response to the smile, Patroclus said again: “But we’ll have to think about what we are going to do after that.”

“What does that mean?” Achilles frowned.

Patroclus cocked his eyebrows in slight reproach, but Achilles couldn’t think of the reason.

They aboard a ship for Peloponnese around noon, and they both stood at the brim of the ship to watch until Athens faded into flat shadows. 

At the time they arrived at Peloponnese, they didn’t see any other ships at the harbor. 

“Did they leave again?” Patroclus murmured. 

Achilles actually didn’t mind if they did, but it seemed to him that Patroclus didn’t feel the same way. 

“Guess I’ll have to do the asking again.” Patroclus said.

“I think it’s no need to be hurry.” Achilles felt slightly hurt but tried not to show it on the face.

Patroclus cocked an eyebrow at him: “We are chasing a ship, Achilles.”

Achilles frowned, but didn’t say anything.

 

Achilles thought it might take a great deal of time to find out the ship’s whereabouts, but this time, the information just popped out itself.

It was an old man about sixty; after listening to Patroclus’ description, the old man claimed he had saw the ship not long before, and that the ship was probably still here in Peloponnese.

“There’s a storm coming this time of the year, many fisherman and sailors had hid their ship in another side of the beach, where the rock provides a natural barrier.”

“Where is that place?” Patroclus asked. “Can you take us there?”

“Why not wait until the storm is over? It looks it may come sooner than we expected.”

They both turned to the sea, and sure enough, there’re ominous black clouds shadowing the sea. 

“Maybe you can come to my place and see if the people you talk about are there; many outlanders seek shelter at my house, and I am proud of that.” The old man said.

“Wow, that’s hospitable of you.” Patroclus smiled.

“In Zeus’ name in deed I am.” The old man grinned.

Achilles frowned involuntarily and tugged at Patroclus’ sleeve.

“What?” Patroclus asked. He still gave Achilles the impression that he was hiding something.

“I don’t feel right about this whole thing. It’s too easy.” Achilles stared at the old man.

“You think too much, Achilles. Sailors are generally willing to help people, not that I am praising myself; it’s because we all need help from each other from time to time.”

Achilles was still feeling uncomfortable, but he said nothing and followed Patroclus to the old man’s house. 

The old man’s house was not far from the beach; it was not ornate, but it was indeed big enough to accommodate the whole crew of Patroclus’ if necessary. As Patroclus walked around finding his people, Achilles stood beside windowsill and looked out at the sea mindlessly. 

“Why not sit yourself and get some rest?” the owner said.

“I don’t like being meddled with.” Achilles said coldly. He knew his hostile wasn’t quite warranted, but he was at the edge of losing his temper, and he didn’t even know why.

“You are a strange lad.” The old man said dryly.

Achilles ignored the man. He decided it’s for the best if he stayed with Patroclus. As he turned to look for Patroclus, he accidentally knocked a vase off the shelf. In a split second, Achilles saw several men reached to their belt.

This was a trap! 

Achilles immediately decided to wipe all of them out; but he would have to make sure Patroclus was safe at his side first. So he used all his strength to keep his poise and not to show any emotion on his face. 

To his relieve, he soon found Patroclus lingering at the other side of the room. Patroclus saw him and walked toward him immediately. 

“Achilles! I can’t find any……”

Before Patroclus could finished, Achilles reached out to grab his right hand.

“What……?” Patroclus looked at their holding hands and then at Achilles.

Achilles didn’t answer but just pulled Patroclus to him, trying to keep him sheltered beside him; only after then did he draw his sword.

“Achilles, what are you doing?” Patroclus stared at him.

“This is a trap.” Achilles said, and then he stroke without any hesitation.

The first man Achilles struck only managed to utter “what…”before dropping to the ground. After that, the others all realized that Achilles didn’t intent to spare any of them. So they just came straight at Achilles and Patroclus. 

Patroclus drew his sword too. “What’s this all about?”

“I don’t know.“ Achilles said while sending his sword into a man’s heart.

Within minutes, about all men around the two of them were down. 

“Who were thes people?” Patroclus panted as he spoke. His sword was dripping blood too,

“No idea. I just happened to notice……” then he suddenly stopped himself.

“What?” Patroclus asked nervously.

“The man brought us here was gone.”

Patroclus seemed unnerved by this information too, but he managed a shrug. “Everyone could run would run at this situation!”

Then, Achilles noticed a man was still alive, and was stealthily tugging himself into the shadow at the corner of the room. 

Achilles jumped and landed himself beside the man, who whined loudly as he saw who was in front of him.

Achilles squatted beside the man and asked darkly: “Who sent you?” 

“I……”

“I’ll let you live if you tell me.” He said, and pressed his face closer.

“It’s……it’s the city lord.”

“City lord?” Patroclus frowned at the answer, and so did Achilles.

“What’s his name?” Achilles asked.

The man was pale like dead, both by bleeding and fear. “I……I think it’s Las…..”

Achilles nearly dropped his sword at that. 

His worst nightmare. His closest to death. His worst fear. The memory he hated the most……

Patroclus grabbed Achilles’ right arm in both hands in an attempt to drag him to his feet. “Achilles, it will be fine…… we just have to run……”

Run? But Achilles didn’t want to run. He didn’t want to. Besides, how did one run from a nightmare?

Patroclus seemed to get that, because he suddenly wrapped his arms around Achilles. “We run to the ship, and then we’ll be fine. We will. Please, Achilles…Run with me.”

Achilles shivered as the most darling and the most fearsome crushed in his mind. Achilles closed his eyes for a moment, trying to let Patroclus’ warmth wash away his anger, loath and fear. It lessoned a little, but it was still there, almost tangible.

Finally, Achilles nodded; his voice came out dry as sand paper: ”We run……”

As they ran outside, they saw the storm was already howling at sea.

“You think it’s Poseidon?” Achilles asked.

“I don’t think the lord of the sea is that meddling.” Patroclus said, but his voice was uncertain. And they both knew they couldn’t afford to risk that. Achilles reached for his sword blindly.

“No.” Patroclus covered his hand on Achilles’. 

“We don’t really have a choice.” Achilles swallowed. “Now that we can’t sail……”

“We hide,” Patroclus tightened his hand.

Achilles wanted to shook his head; but the pleading in Patroclus’ eyes got him to stop.

Just as they spoke, Achilles could both hear and feel footsteps coming near. They were heavy, unhuman. Patroclus suddenly dragged Achilles into the shadow, and wrapped both of arms around his neck from behind him. Achilles could feel the tremors of Patroclus, could feel Patroclus’ fear, and Patroclus’ silent pleading. But this time, the urge inside him refused to subside. 

Achilles suddenly turned to face Patroclus. He met Patroclus’ questioning eyes before lifting one of Patroclus’ hands to press a kiss on the palm. 

“What……” Patroclus made a muffled groan.

But Achilles’ kiss was suddenly fervent. Achilles pressed more kisses to his palm, his wrest, and then he finally grabbed Patroclus’ jaw, and kissed him on the lips with a devouring passion.

He heard soft moan from Patroclus, and found out he was now grabbing Patroclus with too much force. Achilles forced himself to let go, and they both panted quietly. 

“Hey, it hurt!” Patroclus complaint, but his voice was all sweet. Judging by Patroclus’ deepened flush, the voice surprised himself too. But Achilles didn’t have time to relish it.

“I would die before letting him touch you.” Achilles said through gritted teeth.

Patroclus went very still against him. 

“No!” Patroclus’ said fervently.

“I have to. Please stay here. If you go out, you’ll only distract me.” 

“You only think about yourself?” Patroclus stared at him with small glistering of tears in his eyes: “What about me? You are going to let me watch you fight this monster?”

There was the unspoken “you are going to let me watch you die?”

“I’m sorry. But I have to. I have to. Just have to.”

“Why?” the voice was hoarse.

“Because I’m me.” The words just blurted out itself.

That seemed to drain Patroclus’ last strength. Achilles pulled away and stepped out under the ominous sky. 

The monster, Las, saw him, blinked for a while, and then burst into booming laughers.

“Little prince, you have grown up!”

Achilles ignored him. “How do you find me?”

“Ah, your hair is less red now, but you still got temper of flame. Honestly, I didn’t look very hard. But you and your friend made yourself quite famous at Thessaly. And after that, I just left a false massage at Athens, and you came to my city on your own.”

Achilles gritted his teeth. Hard. He tried his best to make himself calm down; he had to kill this monster. He just had to. He had to free himself from the fear this monster once succumbed him to.

“You are taller now, but you still got your fragile, delicate heel…… “

Achilles just stroke. 

He had become stronger, faster and more skillful now; and he felt the need to kill. 

His first strike landed on Las’ shoulder, he dug deep and pulled back with such fluidity it was almost elegant.

Las cried out. His hand thrust forward to grab Achilles’ heel. He missed, but only narrowly. The fear rose from Achilles stomach, and he had to stop to poise himself. With the fear, there’s also more anger and hatred growing inside him.

“Little prince, I forgot how nasty a fighter you are,” Las narrowed his eyes.

Achilles didn’t even bother to listen to those gibberishes that kept pouring out from Las’ mouth. His mind was occupied by only one thing: to kill.

Their weapons clashed; Las’ giant sword and Achilles’ normal sized one. In spite of the gapping difference of the weights, Achilles held Las’ sword steadily, not even breaking a sweat.

Las tossed away the sword he had been carrying, obviously set out to grab Achilles’ heel. He was sweating now, and that didn’t escape Achilles’ keen eyes. He knew, now Las was aware of the chance they each stood. 

Achilles smiled. The smiled seemed to crack itself. A ghostly, cold smile. It was the first time Achilles felt this way, like he was taken over by another person inside him. But he didn’t have time to think about this, or about anything else. So long as he could kill……

Las’ face reddened and twisted at the humiliating smile. Now he looked like an ugly monster even with the mist.

“Now who is the wretched thing?” Achilles sneered. The cold voice didn’t seem to be his own.

Las growled, and his giant hand thrust out violently……but all he caught was just the phantom Achilles left behind. Achilles swung his sword, and it cut through Las’ wrest so quickly that Las himself couldn’t fathom what had happened…… until he saw his hand fell on the ground, spilling blood all over the ground.

Las howled and raved, totally lost any will power to fight.

Achilles stepped forward. 

Las, suddenly realizing what worse could happen, looked up at him in horror.

“No, you can’t……”

Achilles let out a cold laughter while raising his sword.

“No, Achilles, please don’t……” it was Patroclus’ voice.

But his sword was already on its way. It cut through Las, opened the giant like a sacrificial sheep.

“No!” Patroclus’ heart-wrenching voice rose again. Achilles stiffed at the sound, turned and saw Patroclus running toward him. But somehow, Patroclus couldn’t get any closer despite his effort.

It took Achilles some time to discover that he was being carried away by a strong wave.

The sea, Poseidon. Achilles realiezed. It was Poseidon coming to revenge his child.

He realized that he was being dragged into water, into the bottomless darkness. His entire prowess, his power….all of these added, were no match for the wrath of one of the most powerful gods. He was powerless against the surging wave. He was drowning. His conscious began to fade. 

Was this the end? How……worthless, he thought.

But suddenly, there was a pair of arms wrapped around him. He opened his eye and saw the sorrowful face of his mother.

“Mother?”

“Achilles, why don’t you listen to me?” Thetis looked like crying.

“But…you come…” he almost smiled. Almost.

“No, Achilles……”

He gasped as he touched the air again. He was surfacing, carried by Thetis. Then another face appeared in front of him.

“Achilles!”

“Patro……clus……” he murmured, before falling into a dreamless, death-like sleep.


	23. Patroclus

“You fool!” I yelled at Achilles despite myself when I saw him finally opened his eyes. I even forgot Thetis was still here, just a few steps away from me. We were now in a small house beside the beach, rented with the gold Achilles carried.

Achilles blinked several times before he finally focused on me. 

“You fool…..” I said again and barely chock down a sob.

“I know.” He smiled but faintly.

“Patroclus, I saw……my mother……” Achilles tried to sit up. 

“She is here with you too.” This was not entirely true. Thetis had been gone quite a while when Achilles was unconscious, but I knew this was what Achilles would want to hear.

Thetis moved toward Achilles; they looked almost the same age now, and they were even more alike than when Achilles was little.

“Mother?”

“Achilles, I had told you……why don’t you listen to me?”

“I’m……I’m sorry.” Achilles looked like a little kid. 

“It’s not over.” Thetis said.

I was suddenly alarmed. And so was Achilles.

“I had told you, there will be a consequence.”

“Yes, you had told me.” Achilles said in a hollow voice.

“I begged Zeus, but Poseidon is almost equally powerful as him.”

Achilles took a shaky breath before closed his eyes. 

“What’s the consequence, mother?” he asked weakly, like a dying man waiting for a blade through the heart. I too was holding my breath, trying to brace myself for the answer.

“For five years, you will be a slave in another state, and you would be stripped off your godly power until the sentence was due.”

“What?” I blurted out before Achilles could react: “But that mons……Las wanted to kill us! Achilles was defending us……defending me!”

“But still, he is Poseidon’s son.”

“No!” I was almost yelling at Thetis now. How could Achilles stand this? Achilles was so proud…he was unable to bend, and he always hated wretched, ugly things……

“You think I like to see my son……my only son suffer?” Thetis stared at me with hatred, and I knew I could hardly blame her. After all, if not for me, none of this would ever happen.

“Let me take Achilles’ place then! Please! He was doing this for me! This is the least I could do!”

“Patroclus.” Achilles placed a hand on my shoulder. “This is not your responsibility. I got carried away at the last second……”

Achilles’ face was ash-white. His green eyes were unfocused.

“Mother……can you not do something to change it?” Achilles swallowed: “Please……anything……”

I felt my heart torn apart at that. I knew how hard it was for someone so proud like Achilles to beg, even to his mother.

“This is beyond my power, Achilles.” Thetis turned away from Achilles’ pleading face. 

Achilles closed his eyes. He was slightly trembling now. And I could hardly bear to see him like this.

“Then, mother, can you……can you take away my memory until this is over?”

I turned to Achilles in shock. Achilles wanted to forget everything? 

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Thetis asked with a trembling voice.

“It would only pain me more remembering who I once was……”

I was losing the ability to talk or think at that moment. How could things turn bad so suddenly? I was just……Achilles and I were just……

“That much I could do, Achilles. I will come to take your memory then.”

“How much time do I have?” Achilles asked.

“One day.”

“I should be ready then.” Achilles said, and closed his eyes again.

Thetis nodded and turned to leave the room. 

Achilles didn’t stop her; he didn’t even move. It was like Achilles was reducing himself to a corpse so as to make himself able to endure the terrible fate yet to come.

I just couldn’t stand this anymore. I stood up and rushed outside to stop Thetis, but the red-haired sea nymph was nowhere to be seen. 

“She’s gone……” I murmured.

“Why are you following me?” 

I turned in shock and saw Thetis standing behind me. Her beautiful lips pressed into a thin line; her eyes narrowed at me. 

“Goddess Thetis!” I quickly collected myself: “Can I not take Achilles’ place? Or at least let me share it……”

Thetis shook her head; her red hair flung angrily at the gesture.

“Then… perhaps you could tell me where Achilles is? So that I could find him, and secretly protect him?” That thought immediately perked me up. If I could be at Achilles’ side, I would do all I could to protect him, to ease his pain……

“You really care Achilles that much?” Thetis looked at me, her face unreadable.

“Yes! I would do anything for him!” I yelled. The words shock even myself, but they were also heartfelt. I would do anything for him, even those you can’t, I thought to myself.

“I could not tell you now, but things might change, when Poseidon’s anger subsided.” 

That’s not good enough, but I guessed this might be the best I could get now.

“Thank you, goddess.” I bow my head in pain.

“There’s another reason I choose this sentence for him.”

“You choose……” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I wanted to curse her; I almost did. Was this woman crazy? Was her head socked with sea water that it couldn’t function? Why on earth would she do this to Achilles?

“Trust me, others are no better than this one.” She said coldly.

“And what’s another reason?”

“The final war is coming.”

I remembered hearing this at Hephaestus’ and I wondered what this has to do with Achilles’ exile.

“Achilles is destined to become the greatest hero in this war and die in the battle field.”

My eyes widened. ”You mean……by accepting the punishment, Achilles might escape his fate and live a long live?”

My heart raced. That was……that was all I wanted for Achilles. But I wasn’t sure this pain would be worth it. Achilles certainly wouldn’t think so. 

“I still think this is too cruel to Achilles. But Goddess Thetis, you have my word. Once I know where Achilles is, I will do whatever I can to protect him.” 

Thetis bit her lower lip. I could see there’re unshed tears in her eyes. She did love Achilles, I thought. But she was a little girl deep down, and she couldn’t cope with the love and responsibility of a mother. 

“Go back now, and don’t let him know a word I just said.” She said.

I nodded. “Is there anything else?”

“Beware of the pain……”

“Pain?” I was confused. What pain? 

“I don’t know the precise meaning. Prophecies all have their twists.” Thetis’ tone was impatient.

“And what does this prophecy say?”

“The only thing that can undo Achilles’ five year sentence and sent him to the battle field is when he is found by ‘the pain’.”

I still didn’t understand, but I took it to heart anyway.

 

When I got back to the room, Achilles was still laying there, eyes closed. 

“Achilles, are you sleeping?”

Achilles didn’t speak or even open his eyes but only shook his head slightly.

“Achilles……” I choked up: “Please don’t hate me for this……”

Achilles opened his eyes. “I would never hate you.”

A few tears tumbled from my cheeks at this moment, and I turned clumsily to hide them.

“Patroclus……”

I heard his voice, but didn’t turn to him right away. I just……needed more time to prepare myself. 

“Patroclus.” He called me again. At that, I turned quickly and pressed a brief kiss at his lips. 

Achilles slowly raised his hand to touch his lips. “Is it farewell?” 

“No!” I blurted out. No, I never want to bid farewell to you!

“Then, can I get another one?”

My heart raced at the simple question. I nodded and pressed my lips on his again, this time longer, deeper. 

“I thought you don’t want this.” I said as I pulled away.

“What make you think that?” Achilles frowned.

I consider the truthful answer: because you seemed so aloof in the morning……but that sounded stupid, and made me felt like a twelve year old girl. 

“Patroclus.”

“Um?”

“Come here, will you?” Achilles moved slightly toward the other side of the bed. I nodded and climbed the bed to lie down beside him. 

“Patroclus…… I’m afraid.”

“I know.” I choked up again.

“We may never meet again……”

“Why?” 

Achilles did not answer; he just continued to say: “……I may become a different person.”

“Achilles……” I wanted to tell him he would always be Achilles, but who was I to say so? 

“I may……I may even become another Paris.” Achilles’ face twisted as he mentioned it.

I froze when I heard the name. That was even more horrible than I thought. But I couldn’t even assure him that this wouldn’t happen.

“Then I will be like Hector; I will find you and bring you home eventually.”

“I’d rather you not.” Achilles said with a dead voice. I felt my heart broken to pieces.

I held him closer, feeling his tremble as my own: “Don’t say that.”

For some time, Achilles didn’t say anything or even move. I could only judge by his opening eyes that he was still awake.

The next morning, I dragged Achilles to walk on the beach with me. Or maybe I should let him stay on bed? I didn’t really have an answer. I didn’t know what the best thing to do was. I didn’t know what I could do to make this final morning worthy, to make him happy. 

Achilles’ thoughts seemed to be at a faraway place. He sent them away, and came here as a hulk.

After a while, Achilles sat on the beach, one of his hands fiddling with the sand randomly.

I didn’t know what to do, so I sat beside him and leaned my hand on his arm. 

“Patroclus.”

“Um?”

“It’s a gift.”

I lifted up to see there’re two seashells on his hand; they are swirly, all white, and pretty much identical.

“Like twins,” I smiled and lean back to hide my welling tears. “They are lovely.”

After we back to the house, I tried to use nail to penetrate the seashells, but kept failing.

“What are you doing?” Achilles asked.

“I want to, um……make them into necklaces.” I was a bit embarrassed by my own clumsiness.

Achilles reached out with his palm upward. I placed the seashells and threads on his hand. He worked on it for a while, and hand back two seashell necklaces that. I had no idea how it was done. He helped me put on one of them, and then I reached to help him put on the other.

That night, we slept together on the bed, me holding Achilles like when we were little. 

When I awoke, Achilles was already gone.


	24. Achilles

Syros beach, two guards were making their usual patrol. 

“Hey! See there! Somebody was lying there!” one exclaimed. 

They approached quickly and saw a boy lying there, unconscious. His tunic was soaked with sea water from knees down, and the other part half wet; his hair was gold with a tinge of red.

“Is this a boy or girl?” One cocked his head.

“Are you blind? See his chest!”

“But……he’s beautiful! I have never seen someone so beautiful.”

The other bent down to check the boy’s pulse and breathe. “You pig, he is nearly drown and all you can think of is he’s beautiful? Hey! What’s that on his neck?” 

The man reached for it; it was a white seashell. 

 

He had been at Syros for one month now.

He didn’t remember anything, even his name. He was given the name Concha (seashell) because the necklace he wore when he was found on the beach.

After wakening, he didn’t recall one thing except sometimes, when he looked at the sea, he felt a strange feeling that he was waiting someone to show up.

Show up from where? The sea? It was all stupid illusions. 

He wanted to think of something about his past, but every time he tried, there’s nothing came, and all that heaping up was his anger. 

He was constantly angry. Always at the edge of breaking something.

He was now one of the workers that building the new palace for king of Syros, Lycomedes. Lucky for him, he was stronger than the average. He took all the work that mounted on his shoulder, never uttered a word more. He was a silent shadow; silent, but angry.

His coworkers sometimes complaint about the lack of food; he didn’t really care. He couldn’t taste anything anyway. He was always like this from the start; that much he did remember. 

He worked all day and spent the evening sitting on the beach. Sometimes there was something, some feeling, like he had been at the similar place, with someone……someone that was very……but no. Nothing emerged. There was nothing left but anger.

He was constantly angry, but his true nightmare came when the princess Deidameia came into his life. 

The auburn haired, fifteen year old girl was said to be the most beautiful girl of the island; he didn’t see how it could be. She was pretty, but the longer one looked at her, the more flaws one could picked out from her. And she looked so shallow and fake.

She came to the place they worked with the accompanies of her loyal guards, demanding and nitpicking everything she could even though she understood nothing about building. 

When Deidameia first saw him, she stood there blinking for a while. Then she demanded with pouts: “Who are you? What’s your name?”

“They called me Concha.” He answered coldly.

“Concha? Why? Can you sing a song like seashell?”

That was a question that both stupid and pretentious. 

“No.”

“Or as shy as a seashell?”

“No.”

“Then why are you called Concha?” Deidameia demanded.

He didn’t want to answer. One of his coworkers nudged him at the side, and he finally said reluctantly: “Because I have a seashell necklace.”

“Seashell necklace?” her eyes widened. “Let me see it!”

He was really angry now. But he took and a deep breathe and pulled the necklace from his tunic to let Deidameia see the white seashell.

“It’s so……dull. Why not pick a colorful one?” 

He was even angrier now. But he gritted his teeth and didn’t say anything.

“Give it to me and I’ll find you a more beautiful one.” She grinned.

“This is the only one in this world I want.” he said with a freezing voice.

”Then you are a fool.“ She pouted again. 

He ignored her and turned to leave.

“You cannot treat my kindness like this!” She shouted. 

At that, the two loyal guards with her suddenly attacked him. 

But it came natural to him. He kicked one in the stomach, and the other on the face. He is so very quick and accurate that they were down before knowing what happened. 

But after a moment, the guard began to stand up when he expected them to stay down. They seemed basically unharmed. And so he ran. 

To his relieve, no one chased him or tried to take away the necklace again.

“I protected it.” he murmured. But he didn’t know who he was trying to talk to.

The second time he saw Deidameia, he just turned and ran. But she had already seen him. She had brought twenty men with her and they all came after him under her order. 

He tried to fight his way out. But there was something wrong. Very wrong. When he hit those guards, they just wouldn’t stay down like they should. They broke his control when they should not. He didn’t know what’s wrong. These had worked……at other times. But now……now he just couldn’t make it.

They tied him up with rope eventually and brought him in front of Deidameia. And the woman……Deidameia was smiling at him. He felt disgusted. 

“Don’t worry, you can keep your stupid necklace.” She grinned.

He just kept on staring at her. 

“They used to say I am the most beautiful on this island.” Deidameia suddenly said.

Is the island really so small? He almost said. But he simply turned his gaze away. 

“But now they say, since you have come here, you are the most beautiful now.”

He frowned. What did that mean? What was she suggesting?

Deidameia cocked her head: “Are you?”

“No. I am a man.”

“Well you certainly aren’t in that dirty tunic.”

He was alarmed. But he was all tied up and grabbed by several men at the same time.

“You should thank me, for the beautiful clothes I brought you.” Deidameia said.

Then she eyed one of his loyal guards, and the man fetched for her a dress, a woman’s gown. Deidameia grinned. 

“Isn’t it beautiful? I always like red, because father said it sets of my hair. I think that can be applied to you too.”

Achilles stared at her.

“Put it on and I will forgive your insolence last time.”

“I don’t need your forgiveness.” He gritted out every word.

Deidameia bit her lower lip, like she was the one who was being insulted.

“Help him put it on and clean his face!” Deidameia demanded.

Achilles began to struggle again. He could not stand this; he would not stand this. He fought like a beast being cornered. But there were too many of them.

He was caught, his arm was twisted hard, his clothes torn. When they finally put the clothes on him, it was already a mess. And someone wiped his face with a towel.

“Why you have to be so violent?” Deidameia rose her voice. “You are the meanest person I have ever seen!”

Then she paused. And then she blinked several times when she saw his clean face.

You’ll have to pay for this, he thought. He wielded himself not to think the state he was in, and filled his mind with vengeance. 

“I’ll treat you well, if you stop being so mean to me.” Deidameia said in the end.

 

That night, he lied on the bed but couldn’t fall asleep. The anger was still seething inside him.

Why was he here? Who put him here? Why must he endure this? Was there……was there no one in the whole world who cared about his suffering?

He took the seashell in his hand, and slowly raised it to his ear. The sound was like weeping. Maybe, he thought, someone was somewhere, weeping for him.

 

Before the palace complete, he was summoned by the foreman. 

“What?” he said impatiently. He was offended by the princess, but he hated them all. 

“The princess wanted to renew her garden. She wanted you there.”

“I don’t want to ever see her again.”

His voice was so cold that the foreman stepped back involuntarily. But the foreman quickly collected himself: “You would be a fool if you reject such an opportunity. It will be a much easier work. The heaviest thing you would have to carry might be a vase.”

“I’d rather stay here.”

“Why?” the foreman was taken aback.

“I’d rather clean latrines than see the woman again.”

“Hey! It’s not your and not my decision to make. She wants you there, and you’ll be there, it’s simple as that. Don’t forget who you are or your place in this place!”

Achilles gritted his teeth, but did not answer.

The gardening job was, like the foreman told him, much easier than his original one. There was already a professional gardener, all he had to do was carry flowers from one place to another or did some plowing from time to time. In the evening, the gardener would leave and left him with some tedious cleaning job, but that was tolerable too.

The most troubling part was the capricious princess. She would sail in with her annoying, pretentious grace, and demanded them change here and there, this and that.

Achilles hardened his face and tried not to show anything. He talked only when it’s necessary. 

One evening, the gardener asked him to spread manure to the flowers, and then left him there.

He thought for a while, took off the necklace, and placed it on a shelf. 

After he finished the work, cleaned himself, and went back to fetch the necklace, he saw Deidameia. With his necklace in her hand.

“Put it down.” He demanded.

“You can’t speak to me like that!” she pouted.

“I said put it down.” He said with a cold voice.

“I will, eventually.” Deidameia said: “I had already told you I don’t like this necklace.”

“I said put. It. Down!” he was practically growling now.

“Well, I say I will.” Deidameia smiled: “But you’ll have to do something for me first!”

Dedameia walked toward him on her tiptoes like she was dancing, and grinned when she spoke: “Maybe I will prepare another dress……”

Something in him broke at that moment. There was a moment of blankness, dizziness, and then he snapped. He suddenly wrapped his hands on Deidameia’s neck, and began to choke her.

The widened eyes of Deidameia were satisfying. The terrified expression was his sweet vengeance. He even loosed his hand a little, just to enjoy the moment longer.

“Please……”Deidameia begged him with broken voice. “Forgive me, please……”

The pleading did not stir an inch of sympathy in him, but it did serve to lessen his anger. Despite his desire to finish the work, however, he came to his sense eventually. 

“Please, I……I was wrong. I would never do this to you anymore……”

He had to wield himself to let go. He would not die for killing this stupid woman. She could not be the death of him. He loosed his hands some more, but still not let go of Deidameia’s neck.

“Please forgive me……I meant you no harm,” Deidameia was now able to breath, but she was still trembling: “I……I was only angry at you because you always ignored me!”

There’s a big “what?” popped into his head. What was this woman talking about?

“I was……I was……I hope you can look at me, look how beautiful I am, and I want you to like me.” 

That was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard of. He was too confused even to snort.

Deidameia reached out and carefully took one of his hands out of her neck. Then she began to kiss his hand. It tickled.

“I will not obey your will anymore, If……if you promise you would look at me, smile at me…”

”I don’t smile.” He protested reflectively.

“Then just look at me……”

He frowned. But at Deidameia’s subservient gesture, something inside him was aroused.

Deidameia kept kissing his hand, and then his fingers and then the tip of it. “I will not be princess Deidameia when there are only two of us…….it would be, it would be like this, like now…….”

As he drew back the other hand, Deidameia kissed it in the same way. 

“I succumb to you,” Deidameia said, her tongue brushed over his fingertips, left behind a weird sensation: “I’ll be yours……and yours alone……”

The sensation was corruptive. He suddenly remembered feeling something similar; obnoxious, abase, but strong. He didn’t know how to channel the feeling then, but now, his instinct get the better of him.

He narrowed his eyes, and tackled her down.

Deidameia let out a moan, and there was nothing royal or elegant in the trembling sound.

He felt the pleasure of conquering, and at the same time, the urgent need for something so ease his anger too.

Before he really understood what’s lying ahead, he tore Deidameia’s clothes.

 

 

Afterward, Deidameia fell asleep like she was exhausted. 

He, on the contrary, felt as if he had just wakened from a bad dream. What he had done, now it seemed all wrong to him. 

He looked around and saw the necklace being tossed on the ground. In his wrath, he had forgotten it completely.

He rose up and picked the necklace up; it was covered with dirt. All over. He walked slowly toward the beach, and washed it in the sea water.

He remembered trying to protect the necklace from getting dirty. He had wanted so badly to keep it clean.

“It still got dirty anyway……” he murmured.


	25. Achilles

He was still constantly angry, at the world around him and at himself too. 

Deidameia seemed to enjoy the coupling way too much. He had no intension to make her happy, more like the opposite. But this turned out to be the result. 

Deidameia summoned him frequently. And she acted all obedient when they were alone. Even when he was deliberately cold and hateful, she seemed to enjoy it. This was sick, he thought every time he came to his sense.

He usually won’t sleep with her, but sometimes he did it to channel his anger. Sometimes it seemed to him that anger and the coupling between him and Deidameia were the same thing.

Maybe he was made this way, he thought. Maybe he was incapable of tender feelings or really caring for anyone. Except sometimes, he would feel the heart-writhing moment of missing somebody intensely, though he couldn’t remember the person he was missing. It was painful, but somehow that’s the one reason that prevented him from killing himself.

A month later, after the garden was complete, he went back to his original work again. Deidameia had promised him she would think of something to bring him to her side pretty soon, but really, he was not a bit interested.

 

He was carrying bricks under the blazing sun, when he first heard the news that every worker was now talking about: The greatest hero of whole Greek was coming to Syros. 

After listening to them, intentionally or unintentionally for days, he gradually learned the outline of the event. Syros was always a weak island state. It had never had an excellent army and the former military commander had just died a few months ago. That’s why the king Lycomedes practically carried all the gold he could muster and begged the most famous hero to come and train him a decent army.

The greatest hero of whole Greek. Somehow, the words pained him deeply; though he had no idea why it should have anything to do with him.

Just about then, Deidameia announced that she wished for him to refigure her room. He was actually a little glad, for he was getting sick of the coming hero’s stories and the strange pain that seemingly coming from nowhere.

This time, he made his mind to have nothing to do with Deidameia. But Deidameia just wouldn’t leave him alone. She constantly summoned him to see her, and when he came she tried everything to get him to bed. But he was stubborn too. He started to refuse to come. When the emissary got angry he just ignored him. He needed to feel like himself again. 

Deidameia didn’t push him at first, like she really respected him and his will. But then she began to get impatient. She would send emissary to him again and again and again, and they would tell him how desperate Deidameia was, and how she was crying all day and refusing to eat……which all seemed pretty fake to him.

One day, while he was working, an emissary came to him. 

“Concha, come with me.” 

“I said before I am not going.”

“You have to,” the emissary was much more harsh then previous ones: “The king demanded to see you.”

He looked up in shock, and felt a sense of horror.

He was brought to a chamber, where the king Lycomedes was pacing with fury.

“What did you do to my daughter?” Lycomedes demanded at the first sight of him.

“Perhaps you should ask her first.” 

“She said she has nothing to do with you.”

“Then perhaps you should believe your daughter.”

The king was furious about his answer.

“Did you seduce Deidameia?”

“No, I did not,” he said, which was the ultimate truth. 

“Then why did her summon you so frequently?”

“I have no idea why she is so obsessed about me.” he said. 

That was more than a king could bear, apparently.

Lycomedes yelled to his loyal guards: “Take this insolent, disrespectful thing out! Hang him up and starve him to death!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who will appear at the next chapter?


	26. Achilles

When all the thoughts had faded, the last question in his head was: is there no bottom for suffering?

That was his only thought when two day had passed since he was hung on the pillar by Lycomedes. His hands were tied behind his back and hung to a pillar outside the palace. 

Pain, thirsty, hungry…that was all his body brought to him. Worst, He could feel his strength drained from him little by little. And so were his hope, his pride, and his self awareness. 

“Well, well, that’s hell of a scene.” 

His heard the voice and opened his eye. In his nebulous vision, he saw a man; a giant, hairy faced man, smiling at him from below. No, not smiling. Smirking. 

Perhaps he should be angry, but he had lost the strength to get angry too.

“Ah, you are still alive.” The man said.

“Sort of.” He answered. His voice came out weaker than he expected.

His bleary eyes had recovered a little, and he saw the man was wearing armor. And he carried a giant shield.

“That’s a big shield.”

“Yes. It’s heavy, but it provides great protection.” The man said. “Not many men can carry it, though.”

“I bet I could carry it.” He said despite himself. 

The man laughed; booming, powerful laughers. Then there’re other laughers. Concha did not notice until then that the man had carried a group of people with him.

“I’m afraid I don’t believe your word, little girl!” the man said.

Concha knew it was impossible for the man to mistaken him as a girl: his clothes had been so badly torn when he resisted those who tried to tie him up that he was practically half naked now. 

“I’m a man.” He said. 

The man said with amusement: “So? I heard Syros men are all weaklings; that’s why they asked me to come.”

Concha’s eyes widened at the words. So, it was him. He thought silently. The greatest warrior of all Greek.

“I’m not a Syros man.” He said. 

Just then, a Syros guard ran toward the man.

“My lord, are you the great Ajax?” a guard bowed to the man. “We have been waiting for you!”

“Are you implying that I’m late?” the man said, but his expression was not angry. He was confident, Concha thought. This man had real confidence in him so that he could face everyone with such ease.

“No, we are……”

“That’s enough, just go get all the men you want me to train. I want to see how many are really worthy of my effort.”

“Here?” the guard was clearly shocked.

“Here, and now.” Ajax said. And the guard soon disappeared.

“Do you think I will find a real man in them?” Ajax asked him.

“Hardly.” He said and then closed his eyes.

Soon enough, the square in front of the palace was crowded with people wearing armors. And king Lycomedes was here too.

“Ajax the great, are you going to train them now?”

“No need to be rush.” Ajax said. “I want to see how well your men can fight.”

“They were trained by the former commander.” The king said: “Many of them are consummated fighters.”

“Oh, then call them all out.” Ajax said.

The king seemed to be caught off guard, but he soon collected himself, and after some thought, he called out ten men to stand forward.

Ajax eyed each of them askew. When all of them were at their place, Ajax turned to Lycomedes: “Do you have faith in them?”

“I……”

“Because many of them clearly don’t have faith in themselves.” Ajax continued. 

“They……they are not experienced, yes, but they are decent enough soldiers.” The king finally said.

“Decent?” Ajax seemed to find the word amusing. He scanned the ten men again and said: “Pick up your weapon and attack me.”

“What?” the men stared.

“I say attack me at once.” Ajax repeated.

“But……”

“If I am all that they say I am, do you think I will not be able to face ten men at once?”

A prolonged silence passed; then one of the men seemed to snap from a trance and charged Ajax. As if receiving a call, the other soldiers soon flowered up. Their weapons, sword of spear, were all focused on Ajax.

Concha was now watched them with intense attention.

Ajax faced the men with ease. It was amazing enough to watch such a large body move so quickly. Ajax’s body was full of momentum, and whoever clashed with him just bounced off like husk flying off a mortar. Soon enough, ten men were all down.

“King Lycomedes, I’m sorry to inform you this, but none of your decent soldiers are qualified even to be called a second rated warrior.”

The king’s face was now livid with humiliation: “That’s why I ask……”

But Ajax cut the king off: “What about the kid on the pillar?”

Concha stared at Ajax in shock. But at the same time, he could feel his blood seething with passion. He wanted to fight. He wanted to hold a sword in his hand again. 

Wait, again?

“Him? He is just a slave!”

“Slave?” Ajax seemed a bit surprised: “And I’m sure he is there doing some important work?”

“He is there for a punishment!” The king finally lost his temper.

“Then put him down and let him face me. I’m sure my sword and shield would be a harsher punishment.”

The king hesitated for a while, but finally gave up. “Fine. Put him down……though I can’t see the point. He has never held a sword in his life!”

Somebody scrambled to put Concha down, and Ajax told one of his men to give a sword to him. He was exhausted, but once he held the sword in his hand, his body moved into battle position without his conscious effort.

“That’s a good posture.” Ajax noted. “Good stand too. Sorry again, my king, but I don’t believe he had never used a sword before.”

Holding the sword, Concha could feel his body suddenly burst with energy. He took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes at Ajax.

“Come, kid. Come at me with all you get.” Ajax prompted. “Just don’t fly too far away.”

Concha tightened his grip on the sword, and then he charged.

Their physical difference couldn’t be more obvious. Yet Concha was showing no hesitation. He felt fresh and new in fighting, like he was born to do this for eternity. 

At a second it looked like he would just bumped into the shield, but just as he was about to clash, his sword suddenly changed direction and come right at Ajax, and forced him to move a step back to defense himself.

Almost all people were gaping at this moment. Even Ajax appeared to be startled.

Concha didn’t stop at that. His sword continued to chase after Ajax. He jumped forward as he stroke, aiming at Ajax’s shoulder; but again, he felt he could not summon the strength he should have. The sword thrust at the right direction, but it failed to catch Ajax quickly enough and only touched the brim of his armor.

That was wrong, Concha thought, why everything in him seemed to be demeaned? Why he felt so strange with his own body? His thought distracted him for a second, and his opponent didn’t miss it. Ajax swung his hand, and his shield hit Concha with a large “POUND”. He hit the ground hard; his ears ringing. 

Ajax stepped forward. Concha immediately tried to stand up.

“Stay down, kid. I get some talking to do,” Ajax said and turned to look at the king. “This kid is better than those ten men added. I want him at my camp.”

“But he is a slave!” the king exclaimed.

“So was the mighty Heracles once.” Ajax shrugged.

“But he should be punished, not rewarded!”

“Just what had he done exactly?” Ajax cocked an eyebrow.

“He……he was insolent!”

“So are all people who are talented.” Ajax said: “If you reject him with such a small reason, you would be a big fool.”

The king’s face turned red and then livid. Finally, he said: “Fine. So be it. I hope your instinct is right.” 

“Oh, this is no instinct,” Ajax smirked. “I ‘know’. I know for sure this kid is among the best people I have ever fought!”

The king looked unhappy, but he didn’t protest. He took his leave shortly after that.

After the king left and the active commander took the troop back to the barrack, Concha was still lying there. He was unhurt……mostly anyway, but the ringing was still in his ears and in his head, and he didn’t trust himself to move right now.

“Hey, how long are you going to stay there?” Ajax looked down at him.

“Didn’t you tell me to stay down?”

“That is that. Now the troop has gone back to the barrack, and you are one of them.”

He sat up, shook his head, and finally stood up. He looked up at Ajax.

“Thank you.” He said after some hesitation. He knew if Ajax didn’t interrupt, he would die within days.

Ajax cocked his head. “Who are you, lad? You are certainly not born a slave.”

“I don’t remember. I was shipwrecked here and lost all of my memories.” 

“All of them?” Ajax frowned. “And name? You get a name?”

“They called me Concha because I was carrying this when they found me.” He showed Ajax his necklace.

“Quite a stupid name.”

Concha shrugged.

“I am coming to the barrack……I am hungry and they probably have got the lunch ready. You can come with me.” Ajax said.

Concha knew Ajax was doing him a favor to show up with him; that would let other soldiers accept him as one of them, so he nodded. 

“Then let’s go now.” he eyed Concha and said: “You really should eat more. You could use some muscle……no, a lot of them!”

 

When they went back to the house, some soldier quickly scrambled to usher Ajax into his tent; it was much bigger than others.

“Look like they prepared a nice place for me.” Ajax said and he turned to Concha: “Take care of yourself. You look like shit.”

Concha waddled back to the barrack and asked where he should go. One man pointed to the most distant tent. Clearly, it was the tent for the most low-born soldiers or soldiers who had ambiguous identities like him.

He walked inside the tent and saw about fifteen soldiers sitting around a caldron. As he stepped in, each of them shunned away from him in silence.

He was an outlander in outlanders. Doesn’t matter, he thought. Now all he wanted were food and water.

He walked right toward the caldron and saw it was almost empty. He was so hungry that he didn’t ask for bowl or ladle; he simply tried to lift the caldron up to drink directly from it. 

“Ah, I thought only my brother does that.” A sound interrupted from behind. 

He turned and saw a lanky young man standing at the entrance of the tent. 

“Who are you?” He asked while wiping his mouth. He didn’t know why, but he suddenly felt embarrassed.

“I’m Teucer. Ajax’s brother.”

Concha’s eyes widened in surprise. Ajax was a big man, sinewy and rough looking; and Teucer was the opposite. He was thin and had a look that was almost delicate.

Teucer chucked at his expression: “Yeah, I’m used to that expression.”

“Why are you here?”

“My brother thinks you might want to join us.”

“Is there…… food?” it felt humiliating to say so, but he was too hungry to care.

Teucer chuckled again: “Yes, plenty of them.”

 

Teucer led him into Ajax’s tent, where Ajax, a woman and a boy about seven or eight was sitting there eating bread and stew.

The boy took a look at him and whisper to the woman: “Mama, He has leaf on his mouth.” 

Concha thought he might have flushed a little. He wiped at his mouth again to hide his expression.

“Sit and eat.” Ajax said. “The food is way too much. Lycomedes must think my families are pigs or something.”

He sat himself at the corner, and began devouring every food at his sight.

“Wow, how many days had you been hung there?” Teucer asked.

“Two.” He said. It felt good to be eating again. The food was still tasteless as usual, but it’s good to have something in his stomach.

At some point, Ajax and Tuecer began to talk about the troop Ajax was going to train. And he, with his stomach full now, began to doze off.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, as he was drifting at the edge of sleep, he heard someone talking at his side.

“It’s ridiculous, just kick him awake!” Ajax yelled.

“But he slept so well. Must be having a good dream.” It’s……probably Tuecer’s voice.

“I didn’t ask your opining! Tuecer!” Ajax’s voice was not harsh still but full of warning.

“Yes, Yes, I know.”

“I have never let any soldier stay at my tent for the night. This would only set a bad example!” Ajax said.

“You let me stay at yours when I came to you.”

“You are my brother!”

“But still, in most Greeks’ eyes a half foreigner is no less an outlander.”

Ajax snorted: “Don’t tell me you feel kindred spirit in this kid already.”

“Just one night, why does it matter?” a woman’s voice said: “He looks really awful.”

“And pretty handsome too.” Ajax said sarcastically.

“I’m not saying that because he is good-looking!” the woman protested: “You jealous man!”

“Enough! Keep him if you like. This house is already reeking of woman and weakling anyway.”

At that, Concha drifted into sleep again.


End file.
